Today am onto Miss Independent Mrs. married but so self-centered. Not that am against being an independent lady, no no…Been there and still there at times (hubby can tell you! :-)).
I know in this generation, we are super independent, getting our own bills paid, fueling our own cars, have a weekend getaways more often, buying plots everywhere, simply put-we are so independent.
The problem now comes in when we take the self, me, myself and I attitude into marriage, and expect a smooth sailing to the moon and back. Well well, it won’t happen sister!
Being a lady with a strong personality, and independent is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, the self-attitude in marriage is what is wrong.
The fact that your husband doesn’t handle things the way you used to doesn’t mean he is not handling it, and the fact that he is handling everything doesn’t also mean you are slobby.
It just means that you are favored enough by the Lord, to give you someone who has your back-so let him be the man.
Don’t patronize your husband for not handling any situation the way you know best. Fight off that temptation. I know we tend to control situations saying “If it were me, I would have gone that way…”
Fight it off sister!! Instead, say -“thank you hunnie”, (he has handled it at least).
Later, after his ego has been stroked enough, suggest another way(note; suggest) most definitely he will listen to you! :-).
Unfortunately our miss independent tendencies just creep in, “I am not” , “I cannot” , “I will not…I handle it like this…”. The next thing, we are shouting our lungs out! The ripple effects of that can outlast the marriage itself.
Don’t shoot his efforts down.
Even when he clears a toothpick from the table (yeah I said it…toothpick! – and the rest of the dirty plates are still there,) – say thank you.
Of course we never lack the men who cannot step up, who abscond their God given roles, who step on their ladies, we never lack the black merino sheep!
My opinion/advice is towards you my sister, who has a good and faithful man in the house. Being an independent submissive lady doesn’t mean that you lose your uniqueness, NO NO.
In fact the Bible says we ought to submit to each other, Ephesians 5:21-33.
Submission is the inclination to still honor and respect my husband even when we disagree, (and cook – not give him Tuskys takeaways because am pissed off – and he can still love me even when we are having conflicting opinions.
Marriage is not a prison cell! You should strive to thrive in marriage!
BE THE WOMAN A MAN NEEDS – NOT A NEEDY WOMAN.
Be fruitful, be productive, be the career woman, be the pastor, be the amazing mam, be all.
Proverbs 31 woman was so hardworking, waking up at dawn-something I still struggle with at times. Be the woman a man needs.
Do not let the feelings have you. Marriage is beautiful and continues to work! Blessings my sisters!