In Marriage Matters

Fight off!

Fight off the temptation to dominate your husband, and the urge to manipulate your way through everything and anything-trust me you can still be effective from being beside him, or even at the back.

Let him lead, let him have the dance. That doesn’t mean that you cannot suggest anything, or you have to keep quiet in the house.

Let him feel needed, he will be so attentive to your needs, you won’t need to struggle to get him to listen to you.

Fight off the temptation to be self-centered and selfish in marriage. The me, myself and I attitude.

There’s a lot of satisfaction in giving. Love, in its very self is a giver. 1st Corinthians 13-read it!
The Self-attitude is poisonous to your marriage. May seem harmless at first but soon, it bears resentment.

Fight off the temptation to talk down to your husband. I know, I know…ladies smell trouble from miles away.

We have a higher intuitiveness than men. Mostly, you find a husband pitching an idea to the wife and it’s like opening a can of worms…”Nonoooooo that will never work…nooo, no no!” “You didn’t see so and so?” “You didn’t learn from that experience?”

Gosh!! That’s a mess!

Girlfriend! Hey! Don’t talk him down, listen and listen keenly.
You might win a jackpot! If you don’t buy that idea, tell him, “Hunnie, it is a wonderful idea, but we can also pimp it this way, and that way.” or “Hunnie, see I don’t think it’s workable but I will support you in whichever way since it’s important to you. ”

Men do not thrive in criticism. Well, it does not mean that you cannot point out issues in your marriage.

It doesn’t mean that you will be following blindly – it means that you will have the strength to bear with him and he will bear with you too, as you communicate effectively without getting all worked up.

It’s important to always keep the engine of communication running in your marriage, but, negative criticism breeds fear and doubt and to a great extent, affects their esteem.

Praise and motivation makes them thrive to greater heights.

Fight off that temptation of comparing him to his friends, comparing him to Tom, Rufus, Brad, Andrew, Kamau, and Dr. so and so…

Your man is unique in his own way. If he can afford to take you to the next retail shop to get your groceries, appreciate him.

If he can afford to take you to Mama watoto supermarket, appreciate him.

If he decides to take you to Garden city and not Dubai, appreciate him.

Maybe you have a husband would rather plant his own Sukuma wikis’ and spinach in your backyard or in some gunia-{which he learnt from an agricultural convention}, all the same, say thank you.

You are lucky to be eating fresh food!!! So all in all, appreciate your man. Soon he will move Mount Everest for you!

If he has lost 0.1 kilograms, appreciate him and cheer on.
Stop comparing his one pack belly to the six pack belly of so and so,  your next door neighbor, ogling at the male models during TV adverts, reminding him of how he is not working hard enough to lose the pot belly.

At least he is putting some effort-he has lost the 0.1 kg .Cheer him on. Soon you will be stroking that 6 pack belly you so badly want!

Fight off that temptation of reminding him his failures. It never works.

Show me a man who is constantly criticised in his marriage and I will show you his frustrated wife, with an unfulfilled life.

We are all human. He is not god Thor, he is not superman and you are certainly not a goddess.

We are all human, flesh and blood, and to err is human. So quit reminding him of how he failed you then, and if he did that yesterday, he will certainly error again tomorrow.

My sister! You are slowing tearing down your man.

You also make mistakes, am sure your cooking isn’t 100 percent-{too much salt, overcooked, and sometimes under-cooked, especially the fish!}, and if you are like me, he would constantly need to buy new phones daily because they keep falling in water!!

Point is, we all have our own weaknesses, and instead of being the bulldozer, why not try encourage him more often?

Fight off every temptation to bring your parents to your arguments/issues.

Now, as I said, your husband is unique.

You cannot compare him to his friends and certainly not your parents.

Every marriage is unique and wanting your marriage to be like your parents in ALL aspects is okay but it will never happen!

At least not in this world. However, it doesn’t mean that the principles of marriage shouldn’t be adhered to.

THEY SHOULD. THEY ARE TRANSFERABLE, otherwise Mr. Trouble will pitch camp right in the middle of your house.

When all is not rosy, don’t go like “my mam told me you will do this and that”…”You are not like my dad!” Duh! He is not your dad!

Never will he be your dad! So if you have daddy issues it’s time to grow up and know that you are married, clean up your closet and move on! Sort out issues in your marriage without brining your parents in at every second.

Keeping fighting off every bad habit in your marriage, and keep your marriage alive! Instead build him and lift him! Blessings!

Marriage works, and continues to work!

#marriageworks #Godspeed

 

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