Marriage is a marathon not a sprint race. There are those who began 30 years ago, but did not endure to the end, there are those who began yesterday, but have made a decision to endure till the end, and, there are those who go about everyday filled with doubts whether they will make it or not.
Marriage is about an attitude of finishing the race. Circumstances come and go, seasons of life that swirl around us change, voluntarily or not, but a constant focus on each other, will make you endure to the end.
Marriage is not a sprint race, it’s a marathon.
It’s not about who pulled the biggest wedding, where you tied the knot at, how may tiers your cake had, if your wedding was a private one, or you were able to feed 5,000 men like Jesus. It’s not about your gown, whether it was a Cinderella, mermaid, or and A-line.
It’s not about how much your ring cost, or will cost and most definitely, it’s not about where you will spend your honeymoon at.
Marriage is not a sprint race it’s a marathon.
With that said, marriage requires an everyday effort, similar to what marathon runners do, to guarantee their victory in the long run.
- Shape up for marriage.
Every marathon runner will tell you this, you need to train and train and be in the right shape for the long run! You need to train to weather any climatic change, you need to train to conquer any terrain.
You can’t be training for a 100 meters race then go compete with Kemboi and Jepkoril! You might start off with a thrust, propel yourself so fast, but after 200 meters, you will be tired and panting! Being in shape, keeps a marathon runner in a better form to run, because he/she is light.
In the same way, marriage requires you to be a “light”, before binding yourself with those sacred vows.
You need to have gotten rid of all resentment and bitterness you have towards your husband to have a more fulfilling life. Keeping your marriage pace steady, requires you ‘shape up’
- Develop a higher endurance.
Marathon runners have higher hemoglobin rate than sprinters. For them, every breath counts.
Marriage requires you to have a “high endurance” rate, for without it, you will be bound to faint and become weary as years pass by.
Endurance comes from maximizing every “marriage breath”. Maximize every time you have with your spouse, try to bring out the best in each other, put each other’s need first, and love each other beyond reason.
That, will give you another reason to wake up and fight for your marriage.
- Energize your marriage
A marathon runner’s body transports most of the blood to his legs, i.e. more blood flow is channeled to what he is built for. This gives him that sustaining energy he needs to complete his long race.
In the same way, marriage needs to be energized. Do not allow familiarity or complacency to set in. You might not go for a far off vacation, but try do something out of the box.
Go for a picnic! Dress up and make a candle dinner for you man! Take your wife out for some random shopping, go for a movie together at IMAX, or simply, just have a movie night at home.
- Have commitment and discipline
It takes a lot of discipline and commitment to be a runner. Sprinters have to a daily work out in the gym to develop their propelling power.
Marathon runners, on the other hand, have to wake up daily, cover a couple of kilometers before engaging in other activities. They push themselves to do a little more extra each day, than they did the previous day.
In the same way, marriage requires commitment and discipline of both parties. You need to purpose in your heart to make it work and ignore all the whispering shrill voices that spell doom to marriage.
You have to commit to his needs and him to yours. You need to have an unwavering and unconditional love to each other, forsake all others and cleave to each other. You have to say no to all other advances, and channel all your energy to each other. You need to choose him daily and he needs to choose you daily too.
You have to say , “Yes you can!”
- Adjust our expectations, and develop shock absorbers.
Marathon runners have the ability to accommodate a lot of oxygen in their lungs as they have trained themselves to it. They can accumulate a lot of lactic acid accumulated while running, and still not faint. Their threshold is higher than the sprinters.
Marriage needs one to adjust their expectations to fit into each other.
Remember the “Marriage probiotic?’-Adjusted expectations.
Do not walk into marriage fixated. Be flexible to accommodate, be flexible to adjust. Having expectations on each other is like holding an axe daily over your spouse’s head.
Learn the joy of giving without expecting. Do not allow your attitude of gratitude to be overshadowed by frustrations from unmet expectations. If an expectation not met, adjust to what fits into both of you perfectly. Always look for what is best for both of you.
6 . Work as a team
Finishing the race should be the goal. Not just finishing alone, but finishing together.
There will be bumpy times, there will be joy, there will be sorrow, and there will be times of laughter. Learn to lean and to draw strength from each other, at any given time.
There are times you will carry your husband, there are times he will carry you. Inseparable you should be.
Learn to pick your fights, some are not worth the time. Your spouse it not your enemy but the devil is, do not allow him to dethrone both of you.
Major on the positive aspects of your relationship, such as the time together and your affection for each other. Nurture the positives by making quality time for them. Multiply the positives, and do not allow the negatives to have more potency in your marriage.
- Find other runners’ with the same interest.
Marathon runners know how tiring it can be to train alone. It can be quite boring too and without motivation to keep pushing.
For most players and runners, training as a team gives them the boost and challenge they need!
Marriage requires you have people who share the same vision as you. People who believe marriage does work! So, pick your friends wisely. Use discretion and wisdom from God to lead you. If you are married, choose friends who believe in your family values, and weed out anyone who doesn’t!
Choose friends who believe in you, and have the courage to outgrow anyone how doesn’t add any value to you.
Remember that Marriage is not a sprint race, marriage is a Marathon.
“We said we would love each other for always…As we walk the beach of our lives, I see our footprints in the sand…Am sure when you need me the most, you will notice only one set of footprints.”
“The times you see only one set of footprints, are the times when I will be carrying you, my dear.”-
Paraphrased from “Footprints in the Sand“