The Diary of an Army wife: I refuse to take him for granted!

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I sleep a military wife…Every day, I wake up as a military wife, and it’s never easy, you don’t get used to it, you will never get used to it.

I have learnt a couple of defense tactics, ‘taekwondo’ sort of, and keeping in shape for it is part of the deal – (should see my dumbbells!) The cross is sometimes heavy, and unfortunately, very few understand.

The social media isn’t forgiving either, the accusations and counter accusations of our soldiers goes on and on. Very few understand your life. Very few understand their sacrifices. You almost use a curse word when you hear guys talk, then you grudgingly pray and pray, “Forgive them Lord, for they don’t know the sacrifices these guys do.”

You get teased about having “sugar money” and “charcoal money”, and when you sort of deny, Kaboom! Slap on your face, you are told, it was your choice to marry a military man.

Yes! Yes! Yes! It was my choice to marry him, and many other army wives would agree, and you know why, because they are selfless. Many have gone through the training, and many have left. To be in the military, supersedes the ambitions for making money. It’s selfless.

They wake up daily, not knowing if they will return home, or they would be called to duty.

When you say goodbye in the evening, you are not sure of seeing him in the evening. (Personally I don’t like the goodbye word!) Their lives, are not ‘normal’, and certainly not for any army wife.

You spend days praying, you sit quietly at your desk in the office praying, you walk to the washrooms praying, you wash while praying, you do all in prayer, whispering to the Lord at every minute, “Lord, sustain my husband” , “Lord sustain these men”.

They die for this country, and sometimes, no one cares. Actually, who cares?

When called to work, everything stops, family projects stall, but, who cares?

As a wife you have to pick up from where he left of, running everything and being everything. They lose their limbs and their wives spend eternity taking care of them!

They fight to death, leave children behind but who cares? It’s their job right?

They are psychologically tortured by the images of war, and any small screech in the house will wake them up, trust me! Their mind never sleeps, it’s always alert. You wake up from the same bed, and in the evening, he is either on duty or worse, no more.

Holidays are not holidays, Christmas to us, happens in January, or July, or October, depending on when you will meet. Actually, holidays happen whichever day of the month.

So yes, forgive me for spoiling my man, forgive me for smothering him all he wants. He deserves it. As a couple you learn to cherish every minute with your spouse.

I will cook anything he wants, pamper him in whichever way possible, I will fight to be a good wife, I will kneel before the Lord and intercede for him. I will be the best I can be…because it’s only home, does he get the comfort. I refuse to take him for granted.

Forgive me, but I will use my cash on him, I simply won’t conform to the standards set by the world, “his money is ours, and mine is mine”. I refuse to take him for granted.

Forgive me, but I will pack all the lunch he wants, I will blend fruits for him, I will do all he asks because he is simply selfless to me and to you, though know him not. I refuse to take him for granted.

Forgive me, but I will not spend my weekends away from home, I will travel back from work just to attend to him, because he sacrifices a lot for me, and for you too! I refuse to take him for granted.

Forgive me but I will rub his feet after a long day! He spends the day, wearing a tight boot, having a helmet always on his head no matter how scorching the sun is, and carrying some heavy gun, protecting you!

So yes, let me show him that you are grateful even if you don’t know him. I refuse to take him for granted.

Forgive me, but I will understand him. He carries and obeys commands everywhere he goes, spends weekends at work, only to come home exhausted, picking up phones calls even in late hours, as you enjoy your peaceful rest. So yes, I refuse to take him for granted.

You got a good man, a good husband in the house and all you do is complain and complain and complain. Catch your breath Gal! You are simply blessed to have him there, but all you do is accuse, complain, judge, and complain again. He can’t even finish talking a sentence and you are all flamed up! Yapping and yapping! ” When i get angry, i have to snap!”! Ok, and you want a happily ever after??? Good luck with that girlfriend!

Jeez! Love your man! Cherish him! For once, be gentle.

Love him, this world is full of uncertainties, you can be with someone now, and the next minute, they are gone. Do not take each other for granted. Refuse to settle just because you are married.

Pursue each other, put the kids to rest and enjoy a movie together. Kids come and go, so put your husband above your children, put your wife, above your children.

If you are not strong together, then the same children you are fighting for will grow up with a distorted outlook on families, and they will leave to start their own! The distorted cycle will continue. I refuse to take my husband for granted, I refuse to take him for granted! And so should you!

My Tribute to the KDF! And all the fallen soldiers. Praying for you!

#marriageworks #Godspeed

Image Creative Commons by gborcher14

31 COMMENTS

      • Mary that story has brought very many things to me bt the them is that I accept it… Thank you 4 dat kid of advice I apriciate… May the Almighty God bless u.. Thats the journey of life Ed coz we accept 2 server our nation as kdf soldiers.. Nothg we can do pray 4 ras we wll make it

    • I’ve also cried soo much…. May husband is a kdf soldier and everything I’ve read its lyk i was seeing us… God bless u munene

  1. Amazing piece gal!!
    True representation of a Proverbs 31 woman and a positive Icon to the the current generation.
    Can we young,learned and liberal ladies be the kind of wives we ought to be???

    • Hey Nicole! am humbled. YES WE CAN! if only we decide to submit to the Lord and let Him mold us, we can be learned and still be all we are required to be! God bless you!

    • Hey Dear, it’s definitely not easy, but God’s grace is always sufficient! So be encouraged gal! God bless!

  2. Mary you look young if that is your current photo but men you have an aged heart that is able to write stuff that much older women would never write. I agree with you I will not take my husband for granted.

  3. I stumbled upon this blog….This piece touched my heart. I could relate! Praying for our better half’s safety and protection out there.
    #appreciatingoursldiers

  4. honestly wat a masterpiece say….tjank you very much fr this…it will help me personally atleast…ill have something to tel mine….she alwayz feels so lonely

  5. Mary…you may have written it just like any other, but trust you me, your composition will change many. I feel so honored as a KDF curently serving in Fafadum, Somalia. Its good to know there’s one person thinking about us. Its not easy, Jeshi ni kujitolea mhanga, maisha na moyo wote kwa taifa letu.

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