They say woman are complicated beings but so are men. Yes we are. We are not simple or easy to handle – especially when everyone is looking out for their own interests.
Even if you prefer simplicity, it doesn’t mean that it makes marriage any easier.
Marriage is not built on superficial things.
Our emotions, always get the best of us, and that is why, God commanded a woman to be of a calm and gentle spirit.
It’s the Spirit that needs to be tamed, not the outside cosmetic look. You might be very simple on the outside, but, on the inside, you are whipped up by the troubles of life, nagging and quarrelsome.
That said, Mr, it’s in your own interests to feed your wife the marriage diet too.
You should be cognizant of her needs too! She can’t submit to you if you can’t fulfill the end of your bargain either. Of course, God asks of us to be submissive, but it would bring you much joy, Mr., if you don’t have to demand it.
So here we are again. The puzzle of getting the right fix continues. He has his diet and so do you. You can’t feed on his needs and he can’t feed on yours!
So this is free to you brother! Making her happy is not complicated as many think it is.
The problem is that you want her to react like you do, think like you do- |sometimes, we do think like men|, act like you do, feel like you do feel. He is not a man my brother! She never will be!
She can never separate emotions from herself! She is a woman, and that’s how God created her! Telling her to be an entirely logical is preposterous… Her emotions are what makes her a woman.
Mr., you demand all from her, you want her to fulfill all your needs, yet you can’t do the equal or more for her. Trust me, it’s really easy for a woman to submit to you if you love her, sincerely and genuinely.
There is no substitute for unconditional devotion to each other. That’s what makes a happy marriage.
- SHE NEEDS YOUR LOVE! NOT JUST WORDS! LOVE ACTIONS MR!
Period! She just doesn’t want you to say it, she needs you to act it!
Those who have gone before us in marriage, and made through the years will tell you, that the only secret to having healthy marriage is possessing a selfless, unconditional, sacrificial love that is unwavering, no matter the changing circumstances of life.
She needs you to love her and act it. Actions have a louder sound!
Unfortunately, in this area, his logical side tells him that “Hey! Hey, since you have told her “I love you” in the morning, then she is okay not communicating the same during the day.
NO! She is not okay, she will never be okay! She can never get used to words and the actions. Admiration feeds your inner man, and so does affection to her.
She wants you to surprise her, be spontaneous, thinking of little ways to please her.
Please remember her birthday, the anniversary and all those important dates! It means the world to her.
Romance to a woman is admiration to you!
She is re-energized by that, but many men don’t see the need nor seek to understand. So let me help you. Yes you can’t see because, you are reasoning like a man, so you end up giving her your needs instead of her needs.
As much as some overlap, hers are so different from you.
Help her out in the kitchen, surprise her in the office! Carry her handbag sometimes! Buy her a card out of nowhere.
It doesn’t need to be an event. It’s just simple, walk to the bookshop, buy a card, write a simple message, and then deliver it to her office!
Trust me! Your life will never be the same! Love actions!
So you will say that’s too much, right? But nothing good comes easy, relationships, marriage, they take effort to build and sustain.
You want her submissiveness without demanding, feed her with love.
Genuinely appreciate her. Go out your way to show the world that she is your queen!
Am yet to hear of a lady who doesn’t like being pampered, or appreciated. Saying it, and not acting it is simply a perfunctory crutch. So unstable and It will never have an impact so deep.
As I always say, don’t think these things happen in movies alone! Make your own love story with your wife!
It’s all in your domain! There is nothing so unmanly with doing these things! It simply proves that you have taken time to know your wife’s needs just as she has known yours!
Admiration to you is romance, affection and love to her!
2. SHE NEEDS TO BE CARED FOR.
You need to be kind and caring to your wife. Love is kind. It will take your effort too, as a husband to make your wife happy.
Imagine, this, your wife she gets sick, and instead of you buying her meds, you suggest to her to get the drugs from the chemist.
I mean, she is not feeling well, why can’t you just wake up, go to the chemist? Buy her the medication she needs, prepare her something, get her to the shower. It’s not a lot to ask.
Unfortunately the African culture has instilled in men that those things make you look “weak”! Jeez! Your marriage is not about people, it’s not about what they will say.
It’s about you and her, making it work, whichever way possible.
Those people whom you are so cautious of seeing you caring for her, won’t be there when you are ill and can’t even go to the loo!
She will be the one putting adult diapers on you. So cut the “what will people say” crap, and take good care of your wife! Love is not just about saying. Do it! Do!
I love it when my hubby spoils me. I could live forever like that.
It deposits a lot into our love bank, and I certainly don’t have a problem spoiling him too!
So why not do those little things for her, pull a chair for her, do the “ladies first” thing, hold her hand in public hand walking, surprise her with the chocolates she loves, get her the biggest bouquet of flowers, floss her all over!!
Deposit into your love bank Mr.! Don’t be those men who get into the ‘matatu‘ the first and your lady is outside!
The more you deposit, the greater the salvation will be during those stormy times.
Tell God to teach you how to live with her in understanding as the bible says.
Loving her and caring for her at all times!
3. JUST UNDERSTAND HER, DON’T SCOLD HER.
Sometimes she just need to be heard not scolded. Unfortunately, most men scold their wives so bad, that they live in fear and trepidation, always saying yes, yes, yes to everything, even when she has a suggestion.
You find a husband scolding the wife for a burnt toast, or cooking a meal that “doesn’t befit” him.
Probably, she has spent the whole day being criticized by the boss, came home and decided to fix a quick meal for you.
Instead of appreciating the effort, you demoralize her. Sometimes all a woman needs is understanding.
Tomorrow, she will put an extra effort to please you. She just needs you to hear her out.
You don’t need to buy her idea, but just listen to her, then make a decision. Don’t be rude, don’t abuse her, don’t hit her, and don’t scold her.
A burnt toast never hurt anyone, but words do.
Fear is not of the Lord. When your wife lives in fear, you are destroying yourself, because she will never think of anything progressive, unless it comes from you.
Learn to advocate for her perspective too! She is your partner right?
Marriage is not affected by the law of diminishing returns. The more you put it, the more the output will be. Never will it be stagnant.!
Her Diet Continues…