Hotdogs…we all know them. We have all tasted some. From the ones sold by ‘Mama Simo’ to the Boerewors hotdogs!
Now, after the Sunday service in Church, we decided to go out for lunch with my hubby. I was really hungry; I couldn’t wait for a full meal. I needed something to ‘keep me going’.
So on the way, we had to stop over a fast food restaurant, and the only thing I wanted was a hotdog. I craved that zesty, utterly stimulating, and savory flavor it has.
I so there we were, taking away two hotdogs and my hubby decided to put pepper, lots of pepper in the hotdog. For me, I can’t handle pepper. He put so much pepper; I wondered how he could ever get to finish that hotdog. There I was.
ME…”Baeby, how do you put this much pepper in your hotdog?”. “Will you finish it really?”
HIM…”I will, the trick is, where to put the pepper. As bitter as it easy, it’s palatable if you know how to get the mix right.”
Just there and then, it hit me! Bitter but palatable! Yes! Hotdog way! Correcting him, THE HOTDOG WAY!
How many of us have brothers, let alone a husband.
When he pisses you off and shout down at him, the results are the same. They willingly hurt you again. They snub you, ignore you, or simply put up the ‘I don’t care’ attitude. You can never correct a man while shouting at him. No matter how small they are especially if you are not a parent to them!
The same applies to the ladies. If you keep scolding her, patronizing her, she will automatically zone off. She will do everything out of fear and trepidation. She will shift all her attention to another thing or person who builds her, who tries to understand her view without shouting her down. That is just the truth.
Naturally when either of the spouses is angry, the tempo is usually faster, and the pitch is higher. Nevertheless, shouting down at each other will never get you anywhere.
It has never worked, it will never work. Two things happen if you shout at him, he either fights you more, or just takes to flight and tries to avoid you.
Yes your husband has done something wrong, and offensive but the only way to correct your husband is to be as taster as you are ‘bitter’. The HOTDOG WAY!
The worst approach you can use in trying to getting your husband to see your side, is being a contentious woman. Always contending for your own way and view. It will not work!
A contentious wife dries out the husband like the sun in the desert does to a wayfarer! That he would rather eat a dry morsel, sited at the corner of a rooftop than being with you in the same house! Using unkind words to poke into your husband’s ego is certainly unwise. The use of such will escalate everything rather than remedy the situation.
The worst approach you can use in trying to get your wife to see your side is disparaging her views. Constant bickering at her won’t make it any easier for both of you. In fact, she will slowly detach herself knowingly or unknowingly since nothing is really pleasing to you.
The test is still adhering to the marriage principles in the heat of battle.
You can still correct her in love. Remember, you’re partners not competitors.
I know it is certainly not easy. I mean, your husband can really get under your skin no matter how thick it may be. I know am not alone, there are those ‘little things’ that piss us off as wives. Am sure you do annoy him too…many times.
Arguments are part of the marriage package, but we need to move from TALKING AT EACH OTHER to TALKING TO EACH OTHER.
Honestly, if you learn to layer your ‘pepper ‘ between the mayonnaise and sauce, the hotdog will be palatable.
The same thing with correcting your spouse, especially your husband. Your correction should be layered between two sets of praise or more! It always works!
My dad gave me this story. Some years back, 40 years ago. When they were living in those mud houses, rats used to be very common. To a point that their squeaky noises always soothed them to sleep.
There were no food leftovers since most homesteads had over 10 kids or more, and water was rare too. So, after having their supper, they would just retire to sleep. The rats on the other hand were always hungry, and at night, they would sniff through, till their little noses lead them to their fingers.
The rats would nibble them off and “clean” those leftovers off their fingers-after all, that’s Â the only ‘food’ the rats had. They would only realize that they were nipped off by the rats in the morning when they were showering by riverside, and the soap comes in contact with those wounds.
Apparently at night, the rats sort of used a technique called “bite and blow” to soothe off any pain from those nibbled fingers! They were not feeling any pain! The rat bites you, then ‘blows’
That’s my dad for you! (Love you dad!)
Whether true or not, if the rats knew how to bite and soothe, why not us?
We bite and bite and bite till there is nothing more to bite in our marriages!
Always layer your correction between praise. Your husband will be more than receptive. Actually anyone will be receptive. If he corrects you too, be enthusiastic to receive his correction.
The wise will inherit honour, but fools get disgrace.
Say “Hunnie, I have heard you, I will be better next time.” Be willingly to be pliable. Be willing, because it is never automatic, so choose to do. A loving correction can turn anyone from being cranky to the sweetest loving person ever possible!
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Always correct the HOTDOG WAY! It works!