The past few weeks have not been so easy for me. I have not been myself let me say so, not feeling so well, but I thank God.
He is my ever source of comfort, joy, peace and unending grace in my life.
I have had time to reflect on His goodness, and time to refresh myself.
Most importantly, I have learnt and re-learnt- if there’s a word such as, of the true meaning of submission, as a wife and also learnt much from my husband.
I have tried to look for a better heading but the words I get seem to dilute my message, and so I will leave it as it is.
Yes it sounds funny, but I have come to learn a thing or two from my hubby for the few weeks he has been taking care of me.
In the house, at times we share chores, but I get to do lots of things of which I do them with an open heart.
Am always glad that I am doing them for the betterment of my family plus well, I love the praises that come from my hubby when he gets to taste my food!
It has been hard. I was so weak, so sick, I couldn’t get to do anything or if I could, it was slow paced and probably won’t finish up.
My hubby is one busy man with a schedule from as early as 4am to as late as 10pm in the night.
Yet, he still found the grace and the strength to take care of me, cook, clean and sometimes even sponge bath me.
I’m not saying all this to brag, but it is to tell a man out there, that submission is not just for a lady or the woman you have married, it’s for you too Mr.
That you can put aside all your “manly deeds” and the macho you to take care of the woman the Lord gave you.
At some point I saw him so exhausted and I would go like “Hunnie I will do it, but he would look at me and smile and keep on with the chores.
Then one day he told me this as we were having our dinner, “Hunnie, I am not depending on myself, it’s God’s grace to me that I can be able to take care of you and take care of me for you”.
…momentarily, I kept quiet, thinking, this man is deep.
How many of us as ladies complain day in day out about the tight schedules we have as wives?
Did it ever occur to you that probably you have either made him retreat to the faucet with your complains instead of thanking God and depending on Him to give you the grace to take care of him and you too?
We complain in the office, in the church, in our small Chama meetings and yet if you depended on His grace, you could do all with ease and with a heart of gratitude.
We take care of our husbands with expectations rather than with commitment and willingness. We don’t love as Christ loves us, instead we peg our love towards our husbands with conditions.
“He has to do this, otherwise I will not do this.”
How many ask for grace when you get off work late, and have to wake up in the morning, prepare your kids and your hubby’s clothes before you think about yourself? How many ask for grace to deal with the in-laws?
How many ask for grace to give 100% at work and 100% at home? How many ask for grace to handle difficult situations and storms in our marriages?
We are self-centered and selfish most of the time. We talk and talk and spend too little time on our knees.
Of course it starts from the word go! We prepare for the wedding! We take loans and call for tea parties to have the dream wedding yet spend little or no time preparing for marriage.
So you get into marriage oblivious of what happens. As a man no one told or taught you about submission, to you submission is being authoritative and dominant!
As a woman, no one told you that being strong willed is okay, but channel that energy into being a positive reinforcement to your husband.
No one told you what praise means to your hubby, no one told you that you can only fight your battles on your knees.
No one told you to adjust your expectations. No one told you that being not in control is okay.
No wonder we have a generation of non-committed men and hard headed women! No one wants to learn because ‘we know everything’.
Every married couple has a lot to learn, even 50 years to come, I will still be in the learning process.
My question is, do you depend on His grace or your own strength?
Honestly, if you depend on your own self, at some point you will get tired.
Marriage is not for the SELF. It’s a place where you give and don’t depend on yourself to give otherwise you cannot survive.
No wonder so many articles of “How to remain focused in marriage” “How not to lose yourself in marriage,” “How to keep your lane as a wife.”
Why? Because 99% of the time, we are depending on our own strength.
I have learnt a lot from my hubby, and he has reminded me the true meaning of submission.
Submission ultimately is to God. Only He alone can teach you to submit to your wife or to your husband.
When you submit yourself to God, submitting to each other is easy. It is not about trusting my hubby first, it’s about trusting God first. Wives who want their husbands to prove they are worthy submitting to will never get around to submitting and same to the husbands too!
Awesome marriages are made of two spouses who pull together in the same direction.
Submission is about servant hood and my hubby reminded me of that. Depending only on God’s grace to pull through everything, loving unconditionally and serving wholeheartedly.
Submission yields responsibility which in turn yields respect. You want to be respected by your wife, do something in your home and for your wife too.
You might think it’s nothing but it goes a long way in building your marriage.
Submission is giving.