THE THORN OF DISHONESTY… #lovebuster!
If you are lying, or deliberately withholding the truth from your spouse…please stop now…
Whether petty white decorated lies, or the biggest of them all, dishonesty is dishonesty.
It is a Love buster and no matter what form of sugary coating it has, it is a choking weed at the end of the day.
Whichever form it might take, like omitting some information, outrightly lying about a certain thing, getting angry when confronted with a question or simply going silent on someone to avoid the questions asked, it’s still dishonesty.
Most couples will avoid telling each other the truth in hopes of “protecting each other’s feelings”, but in the long run, the truth always comes out.
The worst bit about dishonesty is that it cripples even the most “perfect marriages”.
By “perfect”, I don’t mean that they don’t have their own struggles, I mean a husband and his wife who have the willingness to stick together through all seasons of life.
It grinds them to a halt faster than anything else because it has enormous ripple effects.
It’s more like walking on stilts. It may seem fun, but could cripple even the best stilt walker if there’s a missed step.
Little decorated made up lies erode trust.
It can begin with a little, tiny white lie because after all, ‘everyone tells a white lie’.
The reasons could be genuine to you – a caveat sort of, mostly about protecting each other because he/she will go bananas if something(s) come to light…
You will become comfortable with the white lies and soon there will be enough space to accommodate even bigger lies.
After that, the ball will never stop rolling. A lie will cover another lie and another, and the unending will cycle continue.
By the time all is done, your marriage will be swept off by the tide, you will only have the rubble to pick up from.
Dishonesty will erode the very fabric of your marriage. It will erode trust.
Where do you think things will end when you start using dishonesty to protect each other’s feelings?
Most people think their spouses cannot handle the truth but the reality is, they can.
You are simply selfish and self centered. Hiding the truth is about you not your spouse.
You might be insecure about what is happening that you would rather hide.
Unfortunately once trust is gone, nothing said in that marriage will be any bit believable.
Who opened the can of worms? You did with your dishonesty.
I recently had a flu shot and it was painful. I was swollen, red, itchy, I thought the pain wouldn’t go away…but it did, and now I can confidently say, I will be flu free for a couple of years.
That’s how honesty is.
It’s painful at first, you may think you will never recover but in the long run, it deposits big in your love bank.
Dishonesty seems safe at first, but it’s compounded effects lasts a life time before recovering.
So before you begin telling those white lies about anything to your spouse, fast forward years down the line or if karma bites you, then weeks down.
Endeavor to be honest no matter how painful it is.
If your spouse asks a question regarding anything in your life, be honest. No one needs protection.
Be honest about everything…even to the very least thing about some cash you used without your spouses knowledge or approval.
Your spouse might get angry, but it will go away, and he/she will be confident enough to know that honesty is your banner in your marriage.
There is nothing as beautiful in a marriage as a stripped down spouse, inside out.
That you can be open and truly transparent with each other, because honesty is more than just the absent of lies.
It means trust.
That is a marriage.
It is better to deal with pain emanating from an honest talk than the pain brought about by being dishonest to your spouse…
Remember dishonesty erodes TRUST.