WHAT EVERY MAN SHOULD BE FIRST!

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As my hubby was sleeping next to me yesterday after the prayers, I decided to have a little time with the Lord.

Just thanking God for the little things we take for granted.

Having the breath to see another day, because with a new day, comes hope.

I wasn’t really praying but just meditating on the Lord’s goodness and his promises that He keeps.

I wasn’t binding the devil, though I often I caught myself saying, “devil you are defeated in Jesus name! ”

I thought about somethings we take for granted when “single and mingling up”, that sort of take a different turn when we get married.

I thought of all the girls that left the presence of God because “hukatiwi church”, and you can’t seem to get a man look your way – and went from the Lord’s presence to look for a guy “out there” who would love them.

It makes me feel sad!!!.
I mean if a man who knows the Lord sometimes can really pull a fast one on you, in marriage, and you are left wondering, “bruh! bruh! Brother in Christ…Really!”.

What of someone who thinks everyday it’s about him?

What about someone who has no direction save for him, himself and ‘his-self’!

I got to Genesis again and re-read chapter 2, and all the expositories given.

I was amazed how the LORD IS FULL OF ORDER!

He is so precise. He places nothing out of line!

First and foremost, He makes man and puts him in the garden of Eden.

Eden means delight and pleasantness.

It was all in the presence of God.

Adams delight and pleasantness would be found in the presence of God.

So number 1, a man needs to be in the presence of the Lord!

You cannot go dragging a guy out of the presence of God and expect him to function properly!

Somehow the pleasures and pressures of life catch up with him.

You cannot leave the presence of God dear lady, and go get a man outside there thinking, “ohhh am not getting any man in church, so I better find a man elsewhere!”

That does not mean that all men in church are born again, you sure do need discernment – but you cannot leave Christ because you aren’t getting spotted.

Am not just talking about church, am talking about in the presence of the Lord God almighty!

Yes you will get a guy, but who will be his fulcrum?

Who will tame him save for the Lord?

Who will give him godly counsel? Not the counsel that tells men to hide their wives, leave them at home since “they are just but women.”

Where will he get other godly men to walk with the journey of marriage and encourage each other through each other’s failures – for every man needs another man to walk with!

EVERY JONATHAN NEEDS A DAVID, AND, EVERY DAVID NEEDS A JONATHAN!

Who will teach him how to love you save for the Lord?

I mean, Christ commanded the husband to love the wife as Christ loved the church, presenting her spotless before Him – Ephesians 5 if you want to read.

So who will teach him to live honorably and holy with you?

Who will teach him to understand you and live with you in forbearance?

THE MAN you find has to be in the Lord’s presence! First!

IT’S IN THE presence of the Lord where he finds his true joy, and it’s at the right hand of God where there are pleasures evermore.

His pleasure should be in Christ! First!

THE MAN HAS TO BE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD!

THE PRESENCE OF GOD HAS TO BE HIS LIFESTYLE, NOT JUST ATTENDING CHURCH!

Secondly, he gave Adam work! Work of cultivating and tending to the garden OF EDEN!

I have no qualms with having faith in Jehovah Jireh, He is the provider.

But the Lord wasn’t out of His mind giving Adam work.

A man needs to work and provide for his family!
I don’t mean that he needs to be employed. No! I mean this, he needs to get up from the bed, stop being a lazy bum and go hustle!

So how do you as a grown man, still depend fully on your parents?

You ask your friends cash 24/7 instead of getting up and go to a ‘mjengo?’

You are still playing PlayStation the whole day then ‘maraundi’ in evening, hitting on every skirt that passes before you!

Worse, you lie to that lady who has clearly lost her sense of direction that you want to marry her.!
How?

All you do is sit still and do nothing profitable the whole day!

Please, even Paul worked and he was a great man of the Lord.

You cannot depend on people forever and then say that you want to get a wife.

Then miss, out of desperation, you marry him just because! Just because?

We need pedicure, manicure, salon, lipstick, spray and cologne, dress well, eat well, sleep well… Those are just the basic needs!
Let not anyone lie to you.

No am not talking about the goldiggers. Am talking about the man who knows that he needs to provide. Not AS A SOLE RESPONSIBILITY, but as a A PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY.

You don’t have a roof over your head, where will you take her?
Some men marry, then dump their wives with their mothers.
When will both of you learn to leave and cleave?

God is not a God of confusion Mr.

Get up and go sell sweets, maize, anything that will profit both of you.

There’s another side to this, a man who tends to everything around, includes you too!

He needs of cultivate what you have inside and out.

Bring out the best in you and your abilities.
Not a man who will stiffle you.

If you are not yet married, and the man seems to stiffle you, run!

He is supposed to cultivate every material that’s placed under him.

That includes you sister.

So if you aren’t yet married, and he is already scared of your progress, just run for your life!

Marriage doesn’t have a “dip stick test! ”

I don’t need to tell you more.

He is manipulative and there is nothing as depressing as having a man who cannot see the potential that you have.

He has potential, but it’s potential to derail your calling!

You will never grow and God made all of us with a seed.

A seed to be fruitful, to increase, multiply so that you can subdue the earth.
A seed of talent to excel in what you are good at.

The man should protect you, not destroy you.

Then you go get a man who has no idea of what “tending to you means”!

No wonder the frustration around!

THE MAN HAS TO WORK AND TEND TO WHATEVER THE LORD HAS GIVEN HIM TO DO!
That is INCLUSIVE OF YOU!

Cultivating it/you and nurturing you for piety and usefulness!

Thirdly, then the Lord gave Adam some very important instructions.

“Do not eat the fruit of tree in the middle, the tree of life – just paraphrasing it”.

Very clear instructions from the Lord.
It was a word from the Lord to Adam.

A man therefore should be able to give direction for his family from the Lord.
#DIRECTION and VISION!

Where do you get it from?
From the Lord.

Now how do you get direction, if you are not keen to listen to the one giving you the direction(s)?

Be it driving, walking, shopping for something, administering medication.

They all come with a set of directions, and so does marriage.

You just don’t get married because you both got dark wars inside your underwear or pants!
Ohh you cannot control yourselves, hence marriage.

Marriage doesn’t cure lust!

A MAN/WOMAN WHO CANNOT CONTROL HIS/HER SEXUAL URGES CANNOT CONQUER THE WORLD!

Of course Paul asked people who cannot control their passions to get married but what exactly did he mean?

He didn’t say that to simply marriage to be an “all sex affair.”
He said so to give sex in marriage as much weight as it deserves. He meant intimacy! (Topic of another day!)

Sex happens and it’s good, very good, but it’s just a very small fraction of what makes a marriage last.

As a man you are tasked with the responsibility of being the head of your home.

You are the priest.
You set the course, the family follows.

You set the vision, the wife helps you to accomplish it.

You set the goals, your wife helps you to achieve them.

So suppose you are clueless?
Directionless?
How do you help your family?

How do you get the vision for your family if you do not seek the author and the perfector of marriages?

My husband should be able to seek the Lord as much as I do, or even more.

Then His grace will be upon me, enough to help my hubby see through what is needed to be done.

There is nothing as sweet as seeing your Mr. lift up his hands to the Lord and surrendering Himself.

No such safety can you find anywhere, than knowing THE LORD IS MY HUSBAND’S SHEPHERD!

So miss, don’t leave the presence of God because you have waited so much and aren’t getting any attention.

Trust me, there is power in waiting and waiting on the Lord!

Singleness is a gift! Enjoy the season! Get your priorities right and your purpose right!

He will give you a man who is fully immersed in Him, works, takes care of you.

He will give you a man who will nurture your potential, stand up for you and protect you.

He will give you a man who will see you alone, a faithful and gentle man who will lead you on to Christ, and to a happy and fulfilling marriage.

He will give you a man who will love you as Christ loves the church.

A marriage that is stupendous!

So what about you who probably made a miss? All isn’t lost!
The Bible tells us as women, to preach to our husbands using our actions.

It’s your ACTIONS THAT WILL DRAW HIM BACK TO THE LORD!

Not “mdomo mingi.”
Not complaining.
Not crying.
Not telling the whole world through Facebook and twitter!
Not shouting at him.
Not manipulating him or threatening him.
Not trying to change him.
Not juju!

It’s IN PRAYER AND ACTIONS.

Actions of kindness.
Actions of love.
The action of forbearance.
The action of being patient.
The action of forgiveness!

Daily, I must say!

Do not quit on the Lord sister!
Do not quit on the Lord sister!
Do not quit on the Lord sister!
Stand fast and firm, keep the faith!

Enjoy your season!

#marriageworks #Godspeed

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