In Marriage Matters

SELF- ENTITLEMENT

ARE YOU SELF-ENTITLED IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

It’s true that most of the ladies are quite self-entitled in their relationships which makes it draining and unbearable!

I don’t know where this need of feeling SELF-ENTITLED came from, but probably it’s because we feel we know it all, much more than the men.

Some men are too, but that’s not my topic today.

Miss, Mrs.,self-entitlement, wallowing and being melodramatic will never cause a man to stay!

No matter how many demons you cast out, or are “spiritual”, too smart, or so saved, self-entitlement will never cause you to win!

You know why, because the male ego and your self-entitlement will never be under one roof.

One has to vacate and the male ego will never take a back seat!

Have you ever asked yourself this, could you possibly be the one on the wrong when it comes to handling your relationship(s)?

I know there are men who are self-entitled too as I said, hiding behind what they have done and fear revealing who they really are… but am talking to us ladies, women, married and them that the Lord is preparing for this journey.

Am talking to us because it will take you a lifetime to build your family and 20 seconds to destroy it all.

Lip-Service gone bad! Self-entitlement.

You know, the unfortunate bit is that we think we are always right! – I know I do struggle with this, if not always, most of the time and it’s always a thorn at times.

I know I grapple with the fact that there are times I want to scream, “I told you so Mr. Munene!”, but I can’t and you shouldn’t either!
It’s very unwise!

We put up a list of the “The type of a man” we want to spend our life with, yet we forget to put up ours – ” The type of woman I should be” because “we are perfect.”

Trust me, I have been there, thinking am so perfect because well, I did or didn’t have as many skeletons from my past, as such (according to me), saved, a worshipper, smart, neat.etc.

I put up a list of the PERFECT ME, but forgot to put up a list of “THE ME THAT SHOULD BE, FOR HIM.”

In the end, I ended up having a facade outlook of myself, requiring perfection from my hubby. I was self-entitled!

Self-entitlement!

What is funny, in our first year of marriage, I ended up being the one with the most things to sort, inside and outside, than my hubby!

Ohh yes! you call upon the name of the Lord! Straight, no drama, pretty, smart, have a good job, and blaaaaaaaaaaa…blaaaa…blaaaa

……….but have you ever thought of the fact that you could be so SELF-ENTITLED till it sickens everyone out! Your fiance or worse your husband?

You take so much from people, or from the relationship you have and believe you should be first?

It’s either your way or your way. No highway!

The back stops with you. Contributions are not welcome! Thank you!

You are conniving and have a propensity to be manipulative if things don’t seem to go your way?

Sorry is not in your list of vocabularies.

You are opinionated to a point of arrogance.
You expect too much, and give little or non?

Well Miss, Mrs, you are obviously a self-entitled!

What of his expectations?
Have you ever thought that he could have an opinion too?

Okay, let me start from the beginning, you were a lady who is waiting or waited on the Lord, and well, you were found by this man…or still waiting to be found…

Well, true, he is all that. Handsome, amazing, loves the Lord, got a good job and a vision that will take you so far…but he is human…

He has tons of skeletons and probably you have non or way fewer than him…

You begin dating, and the dating life revolves around you because well “he should know you are a catch,” “probably doing him a favor because ladies nowadays are super goldiggers and you are not!” ( I can see you Miss!)

So he sucks up to your every whim, demands etc…and you get married…(you demanded that too!)

Does marriage mean that he will be more caring.? No! Infact, he gets to a point of “whatever!”

He simply stops putting up with your whims and one day he snaps and calls you selfish and manipulative.

Let me say this, self-entitlement is selfishness!

The world cannot revolve around you because well, he married a “smart you”! Ouch! Yes I said it!

Girlfriend this self-entitlement “thingi”should stop!

Holding that card always when your husband raises an issue about you will not do your marriage or relationship any good.

Sit down and shut up and listen!

Why am I addressing us, because we are prone to this disease – I was no exception!

Yes he did marry you a virgin, but after the first night… It’s over! Now be a wife!

You earn a six figure salary and he is probably at 2, 3 or 4 figures, but when he speaks, please listen! Be a wife!

You are smart but he still put you in the “box”. Now be a wife!

You went to a better school than him, probably Harvard University and he’s from a local University.

Suck up the pride! Be a wife!

He does route 11 and you drive! But hey, you said I Do. Now, be a wife!

You didn’t used to do laundry, because your family could afford a washing machine and well, “oooh your perfect manicured nails.”
…but you still walked down the aisle, cheer up, cut short your nails and wash his clothes like he needs them to! Be a wife!

This doesn’t mean that he can’t spoil you, get you that dish washer and all.

Am addressing that malady that most of us have, the feeling of “we are doing our husbands a favor!”

Marriage will force you to grow and if you don’t grow, a time of reckoning will come.

So before you go saying “I am, I am,I am…” and making your husband ‘feel small’…think twice!

A wise woman doesn’t go around making her husband feel mediocre because well, she’s smarter! Or earns big!
If you agreed to marry him…Now, be a wife!

You decided to get married, so act like it lady!

Quit being manipulative.
Quit pointing out every single mistake he does, of which some are really a non-issue…

Forgetting to put his socks in the laundry basket is not even an issue!

Say thank you for what he gets you instead of being the judge the prosecutor and the jury, always comparing yourself to the lady next door!

If he has become better over time, remember to say thank you.

If he has improved any one bit, say thank you.

Whatever he does learn to encourage him instead of tearing him down.

Quit the self-entitlement thing, whether married or waiting to be married.

#marriagworks #Godspeed

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Mary Munene

Totally sold out to Christ. Wife to my amazing John. Blessed to be a mother of a beautiful daughter. The Lord perfecting us in our daily walk! I love marriage in Christ! It's so divine!

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