Last time on singleness, and what you do while single, touched on the first two fundamental things that will form a good foundation in your life come marriage.
Loving the Lord God, and loving yourself.
In loving the Lord, you grow in His wisdom and stature. He guides your path, He leads you and enables you to walk through the journey of singleness with grace.
Loving yourself has got to do with your own self-perception.
How do you see yourself?
Do you wait for people to tell you that you are beautiful – otherwise if they don’t, you carry yourself around like a sack of potatoes?
Self-awareness will cause you to carry yourself with confidence and trust me you need confidence when asking that man/lady questions.
Questions that should be asked before committing your heart to someone and binding yourself in vows.
If you don’t love yourself you will take on anything, everything and anyone based on their terms and conditions because “you don’t want to hurt their feelings!” Total hogwash!
Those questions need to be asked, not vaguely, not glossing over it, no, straight up.
Who comes first, me or your mam? Will you differ travelling to get a family? How many babies? [Topic of another day],
So today am onto number 3.
3. BROADEN YOUR INTERESTS.
Imagine getting married and for the years you have, you got nothing to give save for the occasional gossip in your estate.
Find something to do other than sitting down to watch Indian movies or betting the whole day!
What else can you do?
What meaningful interest can you bring on the table?
Can you cook? Visit the sick or the orphans perhaps? Can you act? Or write?
Maybe you are good in making fashion statements which could eventually turn into momentary benefits!
Could you join a fashion school?
Can you help out in church decor?
Can you coach the young boys at the estate? Maybe start a football tournament that could translate into you instilling some pertinent life skills?
Just find something(s) to do.
Don’t just sit waiting for your girlfriends to give you “plot” so that you can get moving.
She’s using her talents and you are just a joyrider.
At the end of the day, you have burnt all your oil for nothing.
So rather than waiting for the latest gossip call from your source, could you wake up from the mind freeze!
Be innovative and do things that don’t just spread you thin, being a busy body, but are fruitful at the end of the day.
Always ask yourself this before you participate in something – WHAT WILL I GAIN? AND WHAT WILL I CONTRIBUTE?
if those two don’t balance out, kindly do not waste your time.
Broaden your interests and find fruitful things to do!
Be a good manager of your limited time on earth.
Am not saying that you shouldn’t have a little rest. You should.
Rest is as equally important as working, but court wisdom in applying the number of days you have.
Suppose you meet the person whom you will settle down with tomorrow, are you confident enough that you have enough “bargaining power” to state what you would love your marriage to look like and be?
Will he find you interesting and can you challenge him – especially my fellow ladies?
No man wants a liability. Trust me.
So if your work is to sit and sit, that you cannot think outside the box, eventually you will throw your marriage off balance.
Marriage itself is hard work.
It cannot thrive by you sitting and folding your hands expecting a cosmic event to churn your marriage into something spectacular.
So begin the hard work now. Save up for your marriage.
Stock up your sewing skills.
Stock up your cooking skills.
Stock up your dancing skills.
Don’t let anyone else spend your coin!