- Singleness is a struggle…BUT…YOU CAN OVERCOME!
Let’s talk about this:
Being single is a struggle.
It’s a daily battle of the flesh and the spirit, the good and evil, darkness and light, what should be done and what one ends up doing, questions, loneliness and feelings, love and lust.
The biggest being LONELINESS AND SEXUAL TEMPTATION.
It’s a daily battle of subjecting your body to the Lord and crucifying your flesh.
You ooze sweat and blood.
It’s a daily push and pull, offering your body as a LIVING SACRIFICE TO THE LORD, HOLY AND ACCEPTABLE!
Being single is a season that once conquered, you can conquer the world.
Don’t get me wrong, am not saying that marriage doesn’t need discipline, no!
In fact, in marriage, the temptation to sin is even greater, especially if your marriage is on the rocks and boredom has kicked in.
That’s why you see many a men straying – even women to say the least, when their marriage is at the lowest ebb.
The SELF gear takes over, and all one wants is to feel the zest of life, alive and excited.
So, am not entirely excluding married guys in this.
All am saying is that, the struggle is real!
You see, God isn’t against sexual feelings. He placed those feelings there, well aware of the good and evil they can bring – the choice being yours.
He placed them in each one of us. They are pure, but it’s purity can be tainted when those feelings are misplaced.
Therefore, certain parameters are needed to govern sexual passions.
I have seen ladies and men walk into marriage with the idea of sex being a “dirty thing” and instead of bonding them, it becomes the first issue because there was no real talk prior to marriage!!
He got in thinking, “I can now have sex freely – my fantasies unrestricted!” and she’s thinking, “Oh my God, my waist is thick, I have cellulite on my thighs, am not pretty, how will I enjoy this?”
We condemn sexual passions and feelings in Church yet we don’t exactly say what to do with those passions.
There’s no real guidance.
God created us with an innate need to love and to be loved. To be social beings.
To want to feel like we belong. The problem comes in when those “feelings” have you!
The problem comes in when you cannot control yourself.
You see, when the Bible says, in
Romans 12 :1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship – it means this;
TO OFFER: means to present.
YOUR BODY: means yourself.
AS A LIVING: means alive.
SACRIFICE: means it would cost.
Therefore, every day, you need to present yourself as an offering to the Lord, and, it would cost you.
Overcoming sexual sin will cost you some friends – [ you will have to cut off and detach yourself.]
It will cost you some relationships – [ if it’s all about sex, you will have to let it go.]
It will cost you your time – [ you will have to maybe change your own curfew, what time you should be indoors, away from unnecessary influence.]
You might need to change what you see and listen to! [Garbage in, garbage out]
You might need to change what you read!
It costs. IT’S NEVER EASY!
You cannot fight the sexual passion by just being told don’t sin because the struggle is real.
So what do you do?
Let’s be real now, what do you do? How do you overcome?
Let’s base it on one verse from the word of the Lord.
How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping watch [on himself] according to Your word [conforming his life to Your precepts].
- Know your limits.
The Bible says this in this above verse, KEEPING WATCH ON YOURSELF!
So you need to take good care of yourself lest you fall.
I know myself, my hubby knows his limits and back then, we knew our limits. So we worked on that.
We had to define our boundaries from the word go!
If holding hands sends signals downstairs, then don’t!
If it triggers feelings of lust and awakens sexual passions, then simply avoid it.
Avoid being alone with any person of the opposite sex at night.
Let’s be truthful, darkness just awakens “wild feelings”, so if you find yourself entertaining thoughts of “just a kiss” won’t hurt, then trust me, soon it will be more.
“How far is too far” is furthest enough by just having the thought!
Lust has a way of asking and getting, love on the other hand, simply waits and gives.
- Decide to wait.
You are strong or as weak as your decisions.
Let’s not blame the darkness or he/she was too hot and you couldn’t resist it.
You cannot make great decisions if you don’t think through the consequences your decisions might have.
To have sex is simply a matter of “YOU DECIDING” to wait.
Let’s not lie to ourselves.
Hollywood movies don’t tell you that after 1, 2 ,3 years, the consequences of bad decisions follow you.
You may recover from some decisions, while for others, you may bear the brunt forever.
God is merciful and gracious, but the consequences will follow you.
No amount of sex will fill you.
Sex before marriage cuts you off from seeing loopholes and red flags, because all you do is meet and sleep together.
When will you both talk?
When will you begin asking those hard questions sister?
When will you begin seeing past her boobs Mr.?
You cannot have a fruitful relationship without engaging in meaningful talk.
Sex is not talk.
So decide to wait.
How do you wait?
- Be busy in ministry.
- Improve yourself – study, take a cooking class
- dancing class etc.
- Have your own quiet time with the Lord.
- Visit the orphans the widows and the lowly in society.•Go for missions.
- Flee sexual immorality.
It’s not enough to just pray and read the word of God, and bind demons!
When an opportunity to sin presents itself, please don’t gloss over it! It’s not time to bind them off!
Run! Run! Run!
Excuse yourself and leave. Don’t sit there and say” I am strong!” Yet you know staring at her boobies makes you lower your guards.
If Joseph ran, who are you?
If you don’t, you will end up like Samson, whose secret was discovered and he got
ripped off at the same time.
Let’s not wear a pretentious mask when confronted with sin face to face.