In Singleness & Relationships

#SINGLE’S SERIES PART 4

  1. Singleness has its OWN convenience.

Let’s look at this:

1st Corinthians 7:28, 32-34
“…. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. I want you to be free from anxieties.”

“The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.”

“And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.”

Clearly, this tells you in plain black and white, that being single has its convenience. Am not saying that marriage isn’t great. By all means it is.

The strength of unity cannot be equated to anything, but, it still does have its own worldly troubles.

For instance, I cannot get home and decide to take crisps for supper! Johnny would not let me sleep in peace!
I cannot just wake up and decide to go to my parents place without informing him. He cannot too.

I cannot just stay out late, he needs to know of my whereabouts, with whom I am with and what would be the agenda if I need to stay out late. He informs me too if he will be late.

I cannot just start my own project(s) without him being involved. Our finances are co-joined and so, any project that would involve finances needs to be carefully considered, thought about thoroughly, planned meticulously and prayed for relentlessly.

Even for some, the spouse dictates what is to be worn. For instance, I know for sure there are some hairstyles I cannot put in Munene’s house.
He simply doesn’t like them.

I also don’t like some tops he has, so he ends up not putting them on. See? Well, that doesn’t mean that we do that with malice. No.

All these are not to demean me, or him, no.
As a matter of fact, they are intricate, essential building blocks for a marriage that would have longevity and happiness.

Love, trust, communication, understanding, openness, and selflessness are core.

You see, when I was single, my decisions were my own. I had my own rule book. Then came marriage, and the rules of engagement totally changed.

Change is good but it’s also hard.

The problem comes in when we refuse to be flax, and change with the changing seasons. Marriage ends up being a difficult journey.

So singleness, has its own place and convenience.

It’s a gift, and has its own convenience.

  1. Singleness gives you an opportunity to be in the Lord’s presence more.

Again, when single, you worry about yourself, mostly.
In marriage, you worry about your spouse and children couple that with having to worry about your parent(s) welfare too.

The Lord is the author of marriages. He knows that the moment you say, “I DO”, roles change.

YOUR SPOUSE becomes your 1st ministry after your PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD!
[NOTE : PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. NOT MINISTRY!!]

Ministry is actually the 4th!
IT’S YOUR SPOUSE, CHILDREN, WORK, then MINISTRY in that order.

So as a married person, you cannot leave your husband, hungry at home, then come tell me Jesus is Lord!!! Ohhhhhh you are failing!

You cannot leave your wife at home, hungry with your children, neglected, then tell me that you are “doing what God called you to do!” You are failing.

Get your priorities right!

Does a single person worry about all these? No!

I remember those days before we settled in marriage, Johnny would tell me that he is in church, as early as 5 am.

He would stay there till 3pm and that’s when we would meet up for a cup of milk as we had a chat.

Did I have any right to tell him “Hunnie, you are needed ASAP?” NO!

The Bible clearly tells even those who are engaged or betrothed, that you still have the time to work for God! You aren’t yet married yet!
But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t put in time to know that person that you are praying and hoping to settle with.

Also, that doesn’t mean that those who are married cannot be in ministry, in fact, they are more involved than the singles.

They pray more, they seek the Lord more, they hunger for God more.
How i wish we could do what God would have willed for us to do. What His first intents and purposes are.

To seek the Lord and be busy in Him until God presents that wonderful spouse to you.

Oh how we enjoyed doing ministry with my hubby – then!

Praise and worship, evangelism, crusades, door to door (he is good with that!), missions.

We still do, but now, we have to weigh in our family verses going to a crusade.
Sometimes it’s not viable with the little one around, so he might go, or we might go but just for an hour or two!

You see, such is what I am talking about.

Don’t spend so much time languishing on negatives “Ohhhh …. why am I single!” “Why am not getting a boyfriend?”, “Why am I not getting a girlfriend?”

As I said, feed, feed and invest your time on both the tangible and the returns that come from the intangibles, for a season of giving will be coming!

I appreciate myself for the time I spent with the Lord. He re-molded my character.

He taught me a few things that I wouldn’t have known if I was not his presence.
Again, am not saying, “spending time in church” is wrong, of course it’s good, but am reiterating on this, “spending time with the Lord, concerned about the Lord’s affairs!”

You can be in church, but that’s all. Church. You are like the parable of the seed that fell on dry rock, the word is not pummeling you. Your heart is hard and calloused.

Or the sandy ground. A seed is sown in you, yeah, you grow, yeah, but your root system is weak. So, the troubles of life shake you.

You bend at every little thing.
Your principles are shaken.
Your Faith is easily tossed – doubt crosses your mind more often than not.

You are more terrified of the thought of being alone, than afraid of making a mistake that would take you a lifetime to repair – or never recover from.

A little patience would go a long way.

Singleness is a gift, has its own convenience and you can be in the presence of the Lord – unlimited.!

 

Single’s series continues….

#singleness
#marriageworks
#Godspeed

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