As earlier said, I again began my intimate walk with God after quitting all the wrong relationships I had had. He alone knew how broken and lost I felt inside.
I longed for His grace and mercy, and truly, He reached out to me.
Just like the prodigal son, I was safe again, my love life safely tucked under the shadow of the Almighty.
I felt loved and held myself in high regard.
Through His word, my drained esteem was slowly refilled.
I loved me, I loved Christ more. I was full of life again.
You may ask me, how did you move on? Trust me, the decision wasn’t easy, but I had made up my mind anyway.
It had to come from me first, then backed up by the Lord. You know, God gives us a freewill to chose. He cannot impose on us.
Being single is not a sin, it’s neither a bad thing that should make you feel as a second class citizen.
I can tell you for sure that I enjoyed my time alone.
I had time to pray, time to shop for me, I had numerous pizza moment on my own, I loved me! Oh I still do!
I decided that my decisions, especially in regards to relationships, would be well thought out, logical and calculated.
You see, whatever decision(s) you make has ramifications – positive or negative – you should be ready to pay for the consequences.
So why should you embrace the season of singleness?
The Bible has all the answers!
Let’s look at the word.
1st Corinthians 7:7:6
“I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.”
1. Singleness is a gift.
What do I mean.
Being single is as beautiful as marriage is. The state of being single shouldn’t put you at a pressure point.
It’s not being the second best.
Singleness is a gift from God.
A gift is supposed to be celebrated and cherished.
You hold onto a gift, thank the one who it gave you and keep it.
You nurture it, until another gift is bestowed on you.
God knows that we need to be single, albeit not forever if God wills – for these particular purpose(s), to: DISCOVER YOUR GOD GIVEN PURPOSE, secondly, TO GROW [spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, economically and socially]
If you don’t discover yourself when single,
[when you have all the time to yourself], I can tell you for sure, you will have lost some of the most precious moments that are irreversible and irreplaceable.
Let me explain something, what happens if you don’t discover you, now, and suddenly you discover yourself in marriage?
You get into a relationship thinking that you “need” this person, yet you are bonded more by pain and personal bondage rather than mutual submission and giving.
Do you know what? Marriage will be end up being irrelevant. You will either sacrifice your purpose or your marriage. Either or.
It’s not just enough to feel the chemistry, or the connection! What else is this other person bringing?
The euphoria of “blind love” gradually wears off and the realities of marriage quickly check in. What will you do then?
Every decision that you make as a single person, should be a decision that’s holistically considered.
You shouldn’t make a mistake of following your heart alone ! Use your head too! Those two have to reach an equilibrium!
Singleness a gift that will grow you and should grow you to a position that when God hands you the gift of marriage, you will be able to handle it, and handle it well.
Marriage has got it’s ups and downs. It needs an emotionally stable individual to weather the terrain. Marriage is definitely not just about fun, it’s about sanctification.
There’s no need to rush it. Before you commit to someone, think bout tomorrow ,10 years down! 20 years! 50 years!
You should carefully think.
It should be a dilatory decision, for the choice of your spouse will set the temperature of your home, and your life forever.
Ask yourself, “Is this the face that i will want to see 20 years down waking up next to me, till death do us part?”
Ask yourself, “Will he/she be fluid and evolve with the changing seasons, to make marriage an easier journey for us?”
Ask yourself, “Will he/she be willing to improve himself/herself (going beck to school, change jobs, get into business) for us?”
Ask yourself, “Will our finances be planned together or not?”
Ask yourself, “Will our children be disciplined through caning, or will we use the “naughty corner?”
This are some but a few questions that should be asked before committing into a life-altering decision like marriage.
So enjoy your GIFT OF SINGLENESS.
Discover your purpose!
Do things for the community! Visit the orphans and the sick.
Put your energy into ministry.
Have lots of me time and quality time with God, read and read books, above all, love yourself to the core (not self-centeredness).
Be fat enough, for a season of GIVING will be coming, A SEASON CALLED MARRIAGE!