Reflect, perceive then decide.
I think about the day my hubby asked me out. It’s a decision I made after actively seeking the Lord.
I was honestly tired of the never ending cycle of break ups.
I was tired of my being literally grinding to a halt.
I longed for the Lord more than anything else. I longed for intimacy, not some casual encounters.
So, I surrendered my dating life to the Lord, and rested.
I needed to be sure that the Lord has my back.
I could have easily said yes, (he fit into my kind of guy look), but i didn’t. At one point, I told him that I don’t trust men, therefore I can’t be in a relationship with him.
Well, when I finally decided that we should walk together, I was ecstatic but I remember telling the Lord, “God if this doesn’t work, it’s all on you! I have done my part Lord!”
The most crucial part of any transition stage is being able to decide.
Your tomorrow and the day after, is based on your decisions.
In retrospect, my life has largely been shaped by the choices I made.
I have made some bad choices and I have also made good choices too.
I have picked myself up over and over again and deliberately decided not to live in regrets – but all the same, they were caused by my poor decisions.
If you ignore the red flags that he or she exhibits simply because you are “in love” and are so consumed, don’t you blame anyone when things take a wrong turn.
The problem with most people is this, exhilarating love simply blinds them and it’s only marriage that seems to restore back their sight.
Don’t let her pretty face or his muscular body obscure you from questioning what needs to be questioned, from observing his mannerisms to ascertain his motives, from reflecting on what was left unsaid and from deciding based on the data collected.
Decisions should be made with lots of due diligence especially if both of you have the vision of settling down into a long term covenant of marriage.
If you pray for love, then settle for lust, then you are not decisive.
If you pray for intimacy, then settle for a booty call, then you are indecisive.
How do you know that he’s a right pick?
Definitely this will be informed by what your principles are, what you found out about him, what his or her answers were when you two talked, coupled with prayer.
It’s a head and heart decision. Both need to at per.
Why do I say so?
You might pray but fix up that man for yourself simply because you are lonely.
You might pray, but you know very well that his/her expectations did not match up with yours, yet assume that they will change for you. It’s not going to happen.
You might pray, but compromise on your principles because “he is good.”
You know that you are born again, but because he doesn’t seem bad, he occasionally goes to church, he’s a right fit.
The flames of the growing love conceal his real self.
“Church guys are fake!” “Unromantic and over spiritualize everything! ” You say.
Well, I will tell you this, stop “shopping” for a church guy and instead, seek for a man who knows what the presence of the Lord is.
Church is just but a building, an “ekklessia ” a Greek word meaning congregation.
There are remnants of who know the Lord and seek him truly and unreservedly – tell the Lord to connect you to them.
Seek a lady who is immersed in the Lord, not just a choir lady who can hit all the notes right.
Am not against choir, I love singing, but singing doesn’t qualify you knowing the Lord intimately.
Pray that the Lord will unmask anything that he/she hasn’t told you.
Pray that the veil will be torn so that you can see them for who they really are.
Pray that the Lord will do as He wills.
Ask the Lord to remove them from your life if they are not meant to be there.
Tell the Lord to ripple the waters and show you what is beneath the surface.
Is it an easy prayer? No, because we would rather pray, “Lord, make him love me.”
“Make him fall in love with me.”
“Blind him that he will not see any other woman.”
“Make him stay with me.”
It’s a prayer but, does that prayer seek the will of God?
The will of God is sometimes hard,since He might not go our way.
Watch out for a counterfeit. He might look like he’s the one, but he isn’t.
She might appear right, but she’s not.
So tell the Lord yes, I have done my part, now Lord, is it him? Is it her?
The Lord has many ways of proving himself.
He doesn’t need to speak out loud.
But if suddenly he stops talking to you and you are in prayer, don’t force it.
She quits checking out on you and you are in prayer, don’t force it.
He breaks up without any reason, cry, and yell and scream, then tell the Lord, I will wait for you.
Ask yourself this, am I going out with him or her because am lonely?
Do I see myself spending a life time with him/her?
Am I here because he’s rich or do I love him for his character?
What will I do if she’s suddenly sick and got fixed on a wheelchair?
Will I go through this process with them until marriage?
Can her character sustain marriage?
Can his character sustain a marriage?
Is she willing to build with me now?
Does she compare herself to her friends or does she know her worth?
Is he visionary or laid back?
Does he follow through with what he says he will do?
Be sure to check out the variables that seem intangible because they cost more and ground a relationship more than the tangible.
After reflecting, perceive then decide.