#DATING AND COURTSHIP – PART 9

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#Question 4: #How was #your #past?

I have come across people (most of them being the men) who have this famous line, “The past is not important, the future is!”

While it’s true that the future is important and should be anticipated for, the past is equally important and should not be skimmed through without thoroughly digging in.

Who lied to you that each other’s past is not important?

The past is as important as the present and the future.

Your past experiences shaped you.
Your past experiences gave you the outlook you have now.
Your past experiences inform me of your now.

It’s not about being judged, it’s about being real, unpretentious, unassuming and very clear.

It’s important to know his past.
It’s important to know her past.
It’s important to disrobe and be totally candid before that person you are looking forward to settle with.

If you had multiple sexual partners, say it.
If you were in a relationship that compromised your values, say it.

You are opening a new chapter in your life, and one thing that you should not cross over with into marriage, are previous attachments that would threaten your “cleaving process.”

If you were molested or abused, just be open.
If you don’t, you are hurting yourself and the person you are courting.
They might refer to something lightly, yet it’s a scar in your life.

Don’t assume that they are supposed to know you automatically. Be open.
Even in marriage, predictability isn’t as automatic as it’s generally assumed.

The past informs and one is able to connect with the present you.

You just didn’t grow on trees and cosmically appeared.

Share your struggles and your failures, your frailties and your weakness.
Be totally open and candid.

If the person you are interested in doesn’t seem to understand how far you have come, and identifies with you now, then they are not worth holding onto.

Do not be embarrassed to show your scars, your wounds and your past failures.
Show them and be proud of how far you have come.

#Question 5: #Do you #have any #children?

Children are a blessing, and for that reason, they have to be disclosed to the person whom you are interested in or is interested in you.

Do not be ashamed of the child or children. They are innocent, so don’t deny them the chance to have a functional family.

Children need care and love and most of all, stability.
Don’t act embarrassed.

It could have been a weak moment in your life and you got pregnant, probably the baby mama or the baby daddy turned out to be irresponsible, probably your spouse passed on, all the same, hold your children and smile.

Be proud of your child and say yes, “I do have this child, that came from my previous relationship….”

Who said that a single mom or a single dad cannot find love?
You can, but be honest about your status from the onset.

It’s totally stupid to hide your child to keep “the market face.”
Character is what keeps.

Questions to ask continues…

#marriageworks
#Godspeed
#dating n’ courtship

What is your take?