Again, I have seen Christian courting couples fall by the way side and succumbed to the pressure of having sex prior to getting married. Some quickly bounce back, for others,the guilt tears them apart.
If she gets pregnant, then parenting begins even before they get to talk about the future and plan for it accordingly.
Sex, is good, by all means, but it needs parameters before saying “I DO.”
You need to talk about sex and it’s place in your relationship and in marriage.
It’s one thing that requires you to be intentional and being deliberate in deciding to be in control and wait.
You need to define your boundaries as soon as possible to avoid the temptation of having sex before marriage.
Boundaries do not just happen, you need to both decide that you will not succumb to the pressure.
You need to decide to do things differently.
Let me expound more on this. The chemistry is always real. It will be there, and it keeps growing stronger by day. She will look attractive by the day and he will look damn good!
You cannot fight the feelings you have for this person but you can master and control them. You can put them at bay at deliberately decide not to awaken love until it so desires.
They need not subdue you.
So talk about your boundaries during courtship and your expectations are after the wedding.
Discuss your cryptonite in matters regarding sexuality. Talk about that which can easily destabilize you. Talk about what your views are.Talk about that.
Talk about the sins that easily beset you… according to Hebrews 12:1-2
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.”
Is it Holding hands? Hugging? A subtle touch? Could you be entangled if you both lock arms? What act can make you compromise?
Then how do you SUBDUE IT?
Would you consider walking with a Godly couple?
Would you consider being equipped for the future through their counsel and frequent meetings?
Talk about all this and more. Talk about your reservations and what you fear the most.
You will be stunned that you probably share your fears and have the same expectations.
Ask each other this:
What will sex mean to you? How will sex be in the future?
Can we talk about it?
How often should it be? or should we leave it open to chance?
How will we feel being naked in front of each other?
Do you think sex should be comparative to what the media depicts?
On a scale from one to ten, how is sex of importance to you in marriage?