What is headship or a man in a family?
What is submissiveness of a woman in a family?
When God created Adam and placed him in the garden of Eden, His plan was to enjoy communion – an intimate relationship with this man who came “from him.”
So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
God gave Adam “work” and his work was to name all the animals, but amid all that, he still found himself wanting. Am sure something in him stirred up as he said, “cow”, “dog”, “sheep.” None of those creatures could reach down to the well of his soul. He was alone.
Then God caused him to sleep and OUT OF HIM, created the woman. He breathed His life in her.
Adam saw her and said, “This is the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh!”
In other words, he felt whole and complete!
All was perfect.
Their energies were centered on God.
When Adam and Eve sinned against the Lord, sin distorted that relationship.
Adam ultimately rejected the authority of God and His ordinances over his life, after all, he did eat the fruit given to him by Eve.
He shifted his allegiance to Eve.
Eve on the other hand, participated too in breaking the covenant. She did not regard the instructions given. She too shifted her allegiance from God to Adam.
The energy cycle was broken. The covenant was severed and they hid because of the sin they committed. They discovered that they were both naked and felt ashamed to stand before the presence of the Lord.
He immediately passed judgement to the man – that his work would be full of obstacles, pain and turmoil as he attempted to move into the world and, tries to conquer new territories.
Could it explain why our men and husbands often feel inadequate and wanting and more often than not feel weight of the world on them?
Could it explain why they easily get stressed out if something doesn’t work out?
The woman would endure both physical pain of childbirth and emotional pain as she seeks to establish a relationship with her husband.
Could it explain why we go through battle and heartache when it comes to establishing solid, godly relationships?
Christ came and died for our sins and re-claimed our relationship with the Father. His judgement was to tell us that we need Him in our lives and so do we need each other.
Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Likewise, you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior.
Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of fine clothing, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you.
Likewise, you husband, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered.
This brings me to the headship verses submission tag.
You see, after Christ died for our sins and reconciling us back to the father, the bond was restored and clothed us with righteousness to a point of calling us HIS BRIDE.
The church was established, not devoid of rules, laws and commandments but He gave the church a free will.
What then happens in marriage that we deem headship as a husband’s way of asserting “hard authority” over his wife and the wife as to simply comply?
What perverts’ submission to simply mean a domesticated servant, subservient, uncultured, small woman who has lost all her sense of dignity and passion for life?
Why does headship and submission crucify passion in marriage because that was never God’s intention?
Why does headship subvert God’s intention of servanthood leadership?
Marital intimacy is possible but until we get to the core of understanding what God really meant by headship and submission, the tag will continue.
Of course, being human, our hearts will continue to push us to fight for our own individual spaces and freedom. It’s virtually impossible to rid of all selfishness from our marriages – intentional or sometimes subconsciously.
But there is a level that one gets to and it becomes more about the other person.
There comes a time when mutual intimacy means more than just having a functional marriage, that is efficient and workable.
There comes a time when having a good relationship means more than just having a good job that pays the bills.
There comes a time when relational experiences with your spouse means more than just having routine hugs and kisses.
What is headship?
What is submission?