AN ATTITUDE OF THE HEART
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.
Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God.
Over the years that we dated and also married, we have had people (mostly older couples) counsel us and exhort us in the way of godly living.
Our parents spent their lives instructing us in the way of the Lord, at times, not sparing the rod lest we grow arrogant and disrespectful.
Pastors constantly invest their time extorting their congregation to live a good life.
They can do that, and there’s nothing wrong with them fulfilling what God has called them to do, but what they cannot do at whichever cost or energy, is change your heart.
If we move into marriage thinking that submission means that the woman should obey regardless, and headship means that the man should literally stifle you with rules, then marriage will be burdensome.
But what if we could all change our attitude?
What if our hearts could change?
The Bible says in Ezekiel 36, that the Lord can give a new heart and a new spirit.
No one can change your heart except for the Lord. No one can stir the center of your core, EXCEPT FOR CHRIST.
When Christ gets to your heart, he literally tears off the old heart and puts in a new heart. He changes your spirit too and puts in a new spirit. Then instead of instructing you from without, he directs you from within. His laws are written in our hearts and we can confidently say like David, “Oh! How I love your laws!”
It’s not like Christ will edit the Bible to suit how we feel, but He exchanges our hearts of stones, for a heart of flesh. The heart that willingly embraces Him as the one who loves us unconditionally and knowing that whatever He has in mind for us, is for our good.
We keep his commands not out of coercion or out of fear, but out of love that flows from within our hearts. A love so deep that all we want is to please him.
That should be the same in our marriages.
A love so deep that serving each other should be our ultimate goal.
Marriages are never devoid of conditions or boundaries. Love has conditions too, but we unconditionally express it to our spouses – with a push from within.
When the push is there, then submission to our husbands will not be an issue. When the push is there, then loving your wife will not be an issue.
If our hearts change, then we will view headship and submission in a new light.
We will be confident knowing that our spouses wish us nothing but good. We will serve from our hearts not because there are some principles that should be followed.
Standards and principles will not be imposed on us but we will freely give and demand nothing in return.
All this can only be achieved only by changing our hearts and consequently or attitude towards our marriage and spouses, and no o one can do that except the Lord.
So before you begin demanding from your spouse, ask the Lord to ripple the waters in your heart and purge anything that is not of the Lord.
Ask the Lord to give you a new heart for your spouse.
A heart of commitment.
A heart of giving without demanding.
A heart of love like Christ. A heart so pure. A heart so true.