Well, this is not meant to scare the men (husband’s) away!
1st peter 3:7
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life – heirs of grace. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered
Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered or resentful toward them.
“Hunnie, have I been understanding?” My husband asked me this yesterday. This question caught me off-guard. “Yes you have, we have really submitted to God.”, I said. “We are not where we were when we first got married.”
Thoughts reeled though my mind as I thought about our first year of marriage. I kept telling my husband how he lacked understanding of me. Well, the more I told him, the harder his heart got. Probably it was my way of telling him but it was never easy.
We seemed to be in a never ending vicious cycle. He always felt confronted. I felt he was always attuned to my faults.
I had my flaws, actually they were not just flaws but deeply rooted sins that getting rid of was as painful as gouging out an eye.
That notwithstanding, we faced each other as opponents. He was ready to defend himself, never seeking to understand my point of view. And I was ready to fight for “my right to be heard!”
We were always fighting. None of us was modelling Christ.
You see a good marriage is not one that is without faults. Marriage has its battles; it has its trials. It has it’s shake ups and it’s definitely not for the ones who seek a one man’s show.
It’s all about team work and both parties have to have a constant source to draw from when they feel weary – Christ is the source.
…. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered
Husband, there is a way to live with your wife that your prayers might not be hindered. You might think, that’s so unfair of the Lord, but in all sincerity, it’s not.
God has bestowed upon you an undisputed authority of being the head of your family. He had made you the priest of your house.
Priests offered sacrifices before the Lord on behalf of people.
You are the priest of your house and you have an unparalleled mandate to plead before the Lord on behalf of your family.
So imagine having quarreled with your wife and selfishly you appear before the Lord saying how cruel and shoddy your wife is. Do you know that you freely give God lots of entertainment?
He looks down and says, “Leave your sacrifice here and go reconcile with your wife!”
“I cannot listen to you!” “Your words are like an empty gong, sounding loud but empty!”
Your prayers are hindered when you cannot listen to your wife and instead you listen to others.
Your prayers are hindered when you are unfaithful to the wife of your youth, both physically and emotionally.
Your prayers are hindered when you mistreat your wife.
Your prayers are hindered when you make your wife a punching bag, with your words and with your hands.
Your prayers are hindered when you assume she has to come under your “terms and conditions” as if she’s auditioning for a role! – while the truth is, she responds perfectly to your Christ-likeness!
She is your THERMOMETER, CHECKING HOW FAR YOU ARE IN THE WALK OF SALVATION- ARE YOU HOT, COLD OR LUKEWARM ?
Your prayers are hindered when you cannot submit your will to her too. She is not a lesser being but an equal partner and a heir of grace to the kingdom of God. (1st Peter 3:7).
She is the daughter of the KING OF KINGS.
So in essence if you LIVE RIGHT with your wife, you PRAY RIGHT.
IT’S NOT THE OTHER WAY!
Of course praying helps us live according to the Lord’s will, but remember living right is essentially your choice.
The Bible says in Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
God wants us to live right and desire to live right THEN he empowers us to live right through the Holy spirit. He works in us to will and to do, giving us the desire and the power to do what pleases him.(Philippians 3:17)
Living RIGHT with your wife will help you PRAY.
Living RIGHT with your wife will help you offer the RIGHT SACRIFICE.
There has to be a special effort to understand your wife. She is not like you and her needs differ from you. My needs differ from John’s. He CONSCIOUSLY has to decide to put his SELF aside and be gracious enough to attend to my needs.
We have learnt that. We are still learning so much, we have forever to cover – and our scars remind us of where we don’t want to ever be again. They serve as a lesson, beautiful markings of growth.
There has to be an INTENTIONALITY. To know that she’s a tender being requiring grace, love nourishment and understanding from you.
You shouldn’t demean her. You shouldn’t make her feel small. You shouldn’t degrade her.
Here’s the way one good commentary I love put it:
So concerned is God that Christian husbands live in an understanding and loving way with their wives, that he “interrupts” his relationship with them when they are not doing so.
No Christian husband should presume to think that any spiritual good will be accomplished by his life without an effective ministry of prayer. And no husband may expect an effective prayer life unless he lives with his wife “in an understanding way, bestowing honor” on her.
To take the time to develop and maintain a good marriage is God’s will; it is serving God; it is a spiritual activity pleasing in his sight. (Wayne Grudem, 1 Peter, 146)
If you don’t live with your wife right, then your prayer or prayers will be clogged. Don’t pretend that you are effective. Just because you play the instruments right and preach on the pulpit. You are NOT effective; you are simply efficient.
If you are not living right with your wife, you are simply an empty gong! Your spiritual impact is headed to zero if it hasn’t already hit a dead end.
There is a way to live with your wife that gives you the freedom to approach the throne of grace boldly.
Her thanksgiving to the Lord for your tenderness is enough to move the Lord into action.