So yesterday night, during our catch up time, we did “The 5 Love Languages quiz by Gary Chapman.
He wrote the book called, The 5 Love Languages that puts emphasis on how married couples communicate I.e. THEIR ndividual primary needs.
He explains that a married couple is skewed to employ the love languages that they personally are drawn to.
Words of Affirmation – those who feel loved when they are encouraged and affirmed.
Acts of Service – those who feel most loved when their spouses do something
considerate for them.
Physical Touch – those who feel most loved when holding hands,
getting a hug, or being physically intimate
Quality Time – those who feel loved when their spouse simply spends time with them at any given space or virtually any setting.
Gifts – those who feel loved by being appreciated through small (or large) gifts.
From our experience, all these overlap at one point or another.
I mean, I love when my husband surprises me in the office or picks out a cute dress for me.
That not withstanding, we all have what we consider “huge”. A Primary language that clearly spells care, love, understanding from our spouses.
If we can learn to respond to spouses needs, then I think marriage will have less headaches.
You could be doing something thinking that it spells love to them, yet that’s not how they interprete it.
As you can see, I love it when my husband gets to help me out and spend some good time with me.
It resonates to me clearly as LOVE. Well, I too don’t mind all the rest, but what is most important to me comes 4th on his list!
Well, he on the other hand loves to cuddle, hold, some good PDA doesn’t irritate him naaahhhh!!!! (It’s not a surprise anyway!)
So imagine if I push it aside thinking, well it doesn’t matter. Of course it does to him so it matters! What matters to him most, comes 3rd on my list!
Spending time with me and affirming him with my words are enough to make him walk 5 feet off the ground.!
Unfortunately we give to our spouses what we need, not what they need. There in lies a big problem!
I can buy him expensive gifts ,of which it’s still alright, but if I don’t appreciate him with my words, spend time with him and wholeheartedly give myself to him, then he might still feel “a gap. ”
Of course there are other considerations when it comes to making your marriage work.
There’s communication, devotion to each other, trust, faithfulness, loyalty is preferring each other, but most of all prayer.
There can never be an abundant marriage if you take Christ out of equation.
But this is ours! What about yours?