RED FLAGS – PART 1
1. “Petty” issues lead to seriously serious arguments.
“Why do you always have to wear your hair like that?” “I don’t like it like that.”
“Why is does your shirt always have soup marks? “You eat like a baby! ”
“Why can’t you pick up your socks?”
“Do you expect me to wash your boxers?”
2. “You” arguments!
“Why did YOU have to rearrange the furniture?” “It was just fine before.” “What is wrong with you? ” “Do you ever think? ”
“YOU have nothing to do all day.” “I have to go out and work all day.”
“YOU are really irresponsible!”
“YOU have a poor judgement of things!”
3. Special moments no longer are mutually shared.
“Am bored, just go on your own.”
“Am tired, I need to rest, just watch the movie alone.”
“Your supper is in the kitchen, just get it there.”
“Why are you forcing me to like the game?”
4. Traditional pleasant outings become a source of conflict not enjoyment.
“I hate this restaurant!” “Couldn’t you look for another one?”
“Why couldn’t you get me the right type of ice-cream? ”
5. Stifling each others growth and improvement.
“Why spend all that money on cooking lessons, just call your friend to teach you!”
“Why do you need to go back to school to get your degree? I provide for everything!”
“What’s that job for? Your family comes first!”
“Why are you still struggling to learn, you are way too old! ”
6. Habitual or even occasionally mocking your spouse in front of others, even in jest.
“He is such a fool when it comes to investment!”
“She doesn’t know how to cook! Can’t you teach her?”
“ My wife doesn’t know how to blend in her colours, it’s so annoying.”
7. Uncomfortableness in being “you” with each other.
“I would love to attend but my husband cannot even listen to me. ”
“He said that I shouldn’t laugh so much in front of others.”
“She wants me to quit my job, she says it is not what SHE WANTS. ”
” I look stupid while presenting, my wife told me.”
8. Simply unkind to your spouse.
“ You are way too fat! Can’t you quit eating?”
“After we got married, he turned into a fat slob.”
“All your input is simply not enough.”
“Can’t you work harder than X?”
9. Growing impatience with each other.
“Didn’t you hear the phone; do I have to do everything around here?”
“Am I the only one with two hands in this house? Pick up your own clothes! ”
“How many times should I repeat something? Are you deaf? ”
10. A rise of criticism of your family, habits, or your own behavior.
“Your whole family is so annoying.” “It’s embarrassing having them around”
“Can you stop putting your clothes in my closet?” “Don’t you have enough room?”
“Stop dropping things all over like a toddler, grow up! ”
“I won’t be here when your family comes” “I have a lot of other important things to do.”