It’s tempting to think that in marriage, grand gestures are the only acts that count. Of course they count.
I love it when Johnny surprises me.
I love it when he gets me a gift that has costed him. I love it when he pulls a mega birthday for me – but what if he got me all that but we moved along in marriage with no intimacy?
What if he did that, “just because” , and his push was not intrinsic, but only because “I would get pissed off if he forgot my birthday?”
So, he ends up doing so to avoid my wrath, anger and constant prodding about his forgetfulness.
Would those gifts really mean anything?
Is that really intimacy or a glorified form of bondage?
There are many who will tell me, they will matter – at least it will anesthetize their pain.
Yes, pain caused by absent husbands.
Pain caused by unfaithful husbands.
Pain caused by angry and bitter wives.
Pain caused by wives who cannot nurture.
No matter how much we cling to “things”, nothing supersedes relationships.
We were created for relationships.
The truth is, we all crave for intimacy. It’s such an absolute need in every person, that no material gain can fill.
At the end of the day, little things in marriage, make up the BIG things.
Little brush strokes on an artists canvas, no matter how long it will take, soon turns into a beautiful painting.
That metaphor is more than relevant to tell you that, no matter how small, little or non significant an act might look, it adds to your love bank.
Little things matter.
Little things make all the difference in marriage.
It’s in how you cuddle up with your wife in the morning and ask her how her night was.
It’s in the simple breakfast you make for him before he hits the road at 5am in the morning.
It’s the random call or text he receives from you to remind him of how strong he is. That he is your macho man and you are proud of him.
It’s by showing up at her office to take her out for a 20 minutes coffee or tea break.
It’s in getting home late, but you choose to catch up with him first for 10 minutes before cooking his dinner.
It’s in passing by the grocery to stock up her favourite vegetables without her knowledge or calling to ask.
It’s in asking, “Hunnie, how can I be of help to you today?”
It’s in hugging him in the middle of the News he’s watching, or gently kissing his forehead and whispering, “You are a strong man, I love you!”
It’s in sweeping her off her feet unexpectedly.
It’s in telling your wife, “Bae, is dinner on me tonight, sit down and relax.”
It’s in remembering her appointments.
It’s in going out your way to dress him up for an important business or meeting he will have.
It’s in putting the baby to sleep and choosing to spend 10 minutes listening to him before sleeping.
It’s in picking up the crying baby and rocking him or her to sleep without your wife asking.
It’s in reminding her that her body is still attractive to you, no matter how many kgs she’s gained from the pregnancy.
It’s in gently kissing her bulged tummy that carried your baby for 9 months.
It’s in looking at her with the same glance you did when you first saw her.
It’s in being gentle to your wife.
It’s in being an encourager to your husband no matter the mistakes he did in his failed business investment.
It’s in the unhurried date with your wife in which you whisper sweet nothings to her ear.
It’s in spending intentional quality time with each other, so that meaningful conversation can evolve.
It’s in the long walks or the long drives.
It’s in sharing a plate together!
It’s in switching off or putting the phone away when you are both talking to each other.
It’s in planning time together!
It’s in praying together and reading the word together, even if you are angry at each other. It creates an atmosphere for reconciliation.
Little things make the big things in marriage.
Do not stop doing them.
Do not take them for granted.
Do not be tired of doing The Little Things for your spouse.