What is marriage?
The same way I cannot put together any single construct to it, is the same way I cannot separate marriage from Christ. He authors it, He sustains it, He completes it.
There’s a road, there’s the cross, there’s is a glory. Those three work hand in hand. The cross cannot be put on a cart, but on your back. The road may be winding, steep, sloppy, bumpy, but the grace is always sufficient. You will run, and run. You will feel worn out thin, but the joy of going from glory to glory, strength to strength, (2nd Corinthians 3:18), is immeasurable.
Marriage is the shelter where families are created, where character is molded and turns every selfish soul towards Christ. It’s a place where children learn how to love unconditionally by watching you two, just as Christ loves us, and turns them into disciples of Christ.
A society which puts low value on marriage sows the seeds of wind and, in time, will reap the whirlwind – no wonder many cannot comprehend the divine nature of marriage. Some think that every marriage must expect to end in unhappiness and divorce, with their hopes and dreams predestined to end in a broken, sad wreck of things. No, not every marriage ends up done.
Some marriages do bend, and some will break, but we must not, because of this, lose faith in marriage nor become afraid of it. It’s divine, it’s from God and He, the Lord, does not have a shadow of turning. Remember that trouble attracts attention! You and I travel the highway, with thousands of cars moving in either direction without paying much attention to any of them.
But should an accident occur, we notice immediately. If it happens again, we get the false impression, a feeling that won’t budge, that no one can go safely down the road. Yet, others still use the same road every minute. One accident may make the front page, while a hundred million cars that safely pass are not regarded as worth mentioning.
It’s human nature to be attached and attracted to drama. We savor in it. The conflict written on newspapers, blogs, tabloids, sells much faster – but then as you keep feeding on it, you lose your perspective. You lose your foundational truth. You peg marriage more on illustrations, rather than what the Lord says. You loosen your grip. Your lower your standards. You regard marriage the same way the father of all lies wants you to see – “All men cheat, all women are gold-diggers.”
Yet, THE TRUTH stands. It’s beautiful to behold. It’s beautiful before the Lord too. He authors it, He sustains it, He completes it. I know that these are very murky times. Times like we have now are very hard on marriages.
Strange women preying on husbands. Husbands cheating on their wives, dishonoring their marital bed. Women, falling off their covenant to get someone who “understands their pain.”
But we say, do not lose faith in marriage. Not even if you have been through the unhappiness of a divorce and are surrounded with pieces of a marriage that has fallen apart. If you have honored your vows and your partner did not do so, remember God is supreme. One day, after all of the tomorrows have passed, there will be recompense.
Those who have been moral and faithful to their covenants will be happy and those who have not will be otherwise. God will honor you for keeping your marriage vows even if your spouse didn’t. The pain you are in now, is a platform for exaltation. It’s not a camp. Do not therefore camp in your pain. Raise above it!
Some marriages have broken up in spite of all that one partner could do to hold the marriage together. While there may be faults on both sides, I do not condemn the innocent one who suffers in spite of all that was desired and done to save the marriage. And to you I say, do not lose faith in marriage itself. Do not let your disappointment leave you bitter or cynical or justify any conduct that is unworthy. Let Christ deal with the undealt baggage!
Be the biggest one here, by forgiving them. Not necessarily for reconciliation, but for you to let God take over and thrash out all unselfishness from them. Give the Lord the space to work by decluttering your heart. If you have had no opportunity for marriage yet, or if you have lost your companion in death, keep your faith in marriage. It’s not a lowly place. It’s not a place of giving up.
Marriage is yet safe, with all its sweet fulfillment, with all its joy and love. In marriage, all of the worthy yearnings of the human soul, all that is physical and emotional and spiritual, can be fulfilled. Marriage is not without trials of many kinds. These tests forge virtue and strength. The tempering that comes in marriage and family life produces men and women who have gone through the fire and the hammer of the Lord to test and prove God’s word – that is indeed true, unchanging, everlasting and unshakable!
Marriage is beautiful and served right, makes us bear fruits for the glory of the Lord.