We took the weekend away to breathe and celebrate our anniversary. We got to the 6th mark. Yes, we found it worthy to take some time and do a rein check on our marriage. This far, it’s been all about God’s amazing grace. It will be impossible to talk about our marriage and shelf Christ as if He is a third party in our bond. No! He’s not a third party, He’s the Host. The main man! In fact, we are the invited participants to partake His shared glory. The glory of having a marriage for His glory.
As we looked back at our growth pattern through the years, one thing that came out so clear was how unique we still are even after living together for all those days, walking together, talking together, sleeping on the same bed every night, we are still unique. He still loves His tea brewed, I can still handle a weird mixture of everything.
Well the differences can be pointed out, but the journey of having a marriage where differences are celebrated is worth every breathe.
So what if your spouse doesn’t do things exactly as you do?
So what if they are not as organized as you are?
So what if they are not as planned as you are?
All these are secondary preferences, and should remain so secondary if you are to survive the journey.
You two can never be alike and if you make marriage a haven of “oughts” then “nots” are neigh.
No human being has been created with an infinite capacity of handling criticism. We cannot bear criticism always – more so negative criticism.
A balance is paramount.
Yes, pointing out stuff that haven’t been done accordingly has got teeth to scare us to change, but just for a while. Then we either outgrow the feeling or live out that feeling. How? In fear. Perfect love casts out fear (1st John 4:18), but fear in its final trimester births death. Your marriage might not have a physical death, but the emotional death will be inevitable. It will be like living in desert, scorched by the unforgiving mass of loneliness. Married but alone.
Well, from our own personal experience in marriage – our marriage, this far, more than any other emotion that God could have given us, an attitude of gratitude is one emotion that inspires change and altruism even in the most annoying and difficult spouse. Gratitude.
No other place, on earth except within the confines of your unique bond, do weaknesses have a capacity to blossom into strengths if celebrated. The continuum of carefree to meticulous might be slow- or probably never change, but if celebrated, it buds a fruit of love.
Making your marriage work is your own prerogative. How you want the two of you to click and lock is not found anywhere else except in your enchanted bubble. Counselors might do a good job at pointing you to the unchanging principles of marriage, but if you two aren’t all out for your marriage, then its futile.
Love is not static. It is organic. It has all the needs of a living thing. It is a living organism. If you take it for granted or ignore or abuse your love, it will wither and die. It must be constantly cared for, fed, and nurtured for it to live and grow. It must grow and not diminish. It cannot stand still.
It cannot be neglected, even for a short period.
Never forget those feelings of early, passionate, exciting love. Don’t become complacent. Poke your partner if they do become complacent.
Poke yourself too. Don’t be caught so much in the never ending rut of chasing paper. Always be mutually on your guards. Be on alert. If any of the warring signs appear, aggressively and lovingly address and correct them.
They are the enemy of your marital bliss.
And, stop being so indignant!
You can never make love too many times, have too many hugs, cuddle too much, kiss too many times, or text as often as you can!
Go all out for your spouse! The vows are worth every breathe!
OUR ANNIVERSARY THOUGHTS.