In Marriage Matters, Singleness & Relationships

FIGHT #FOMO IN SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE- PART 3

If you have visited The Spurs at Eka Hotel or the Hub, you probably understand how tasty their ribs are! They are heavenly to say the least! Every Thursday, they have an offer of all you can eat ribs. Note – Every Thursday. We have visited a couple of “Eat all you can” restaurants, but Spurs, is our go to place!

Well, am not doing any advertising for them, but trying to build up on what we earlier began.

FOMO in S.E.X before marriage is real. Do not underestimate its power. In that cauldron of emotions, a huge number opt for a few ribs on a side plate and yet God has a whole cuisine to dine from, “In marriage, enjoy it! All you can!”

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. (Song of Solomon 2:7)

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. (Song of Solomon 3:5)

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. (Song of Solomon 8:4)

Three good times, the Lord cautions us on awakening love before time – because it bears painfully hard consequences. The Lord encourages us to exercise restraint in SEX before marriage, not because He hates us, or doesn’t want us to enjoy, but because He knows how powerful boundaries are before marriage and consequently what they build. God is the God of pleasure (Psalm 16:11), He designed SEX and gifts it to us as a good gift.

Don’t you think He knows how powerful sexual desires are? He does. He is not shamefaced about it. It doesn’t shock Him to see a husband and wife naked before each other. But to safeguard our hearts, to keep our hearts safely tucked in His will, He gives us a manual, some measures, instructions on what to do with that powerful emotion lest it turns us into idolatry. He says, enjoy it in the right way, in the right place in my time, it will be beautiful! (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

But what happens? We treat SEX as we would treat any other desire. A craving for ice-cream, yogurt form Planet Yogurt, Java coffee perhaps, fries, soda, coke

But is that all God had in mind?

Saying that SEX is just between two consenting adults with information is cheap. It’s degrading its purity and by far perverse for lack of a better word. It gives SEX the teeth to bite into one’s identity. It becomes part of ones’ DNA. The pleasure of conforming to the ordinary worldly set standards in regards to SEX, enslaves us and becomes a god, yet SEX was not designed by God to substitute God.

God in His infinite wisdom and grace longs for all of us to experience intimacy, a depth in relationships that we pursue and more so in marriage. He doesn’t brush through things. He is a God of details, the God of depth, intimacy and commitment. Depth is what He desires us to have and hence put up boundaries.

Boundaries build depth. The more a river is restrained, the deeper it goes. It is as simple as that. Those same boundaries will help you in marriage. SEX flourishes in its proper place. Opting for a few ribs on the side (fornication), makes SEX such a lonely place to be in. SEX becomes an anodyne for a patched spirit and lonely soul. How tragic. How destructive. How crushing.

SEX outside marriage, as portrayed by the television sets, magazines, presenters, billboards, social media, seems fun and exciting. Men rush to pornographic sites. Women too struggle with pornography. Some open up IG accounts, Facebook accounts, YouTube channels to flaunt their bodies stirring lust in men who lack understanding (Proverbs 6:32). Some feed of romance novels and movies, building a fantasy of “love” – a place of reference for how a relationship ought to be.

But really, what are they all looking for? Truthfully, unconsciously, their hearts cry out for depth. Something meaning full than just jerking off next to a computer, or having a stranger in between one’s thighs.

SEX before marriage thrives on adrenaline – more like sky diving. It’s just enough of a dose to pique each other’s interest but not enough to thrust one into a rooted commitment. Totally exhilarating at first, but lacks the landing pad once you hit the ground. You either die or break. Either way, it leaves you scarred or crippled.

There is no joy in giving yourself away – to either feel loved or “just because its casual”. God has NO casual when it comes to SEX. Its either NONE or ALL. Both are in sacred seasons. In singleness and in marriage.

The Lord is calling us to something different that the world will never agree with. The world is the enemy of God (James4:4). How about having a fresh resolve to pursue purity without apologizing to anyone. No one owes you a dime! The Lord of grace is only asking you for the debt of love to Him. The more you love Him, the more He fills that emptiness in you (Ecclesiastes 3:11). The longing to belong. Every other thing diminishes at His splendor. The only thing(s) that would severe your relationship is having a hardened heart. One with an impenitence of that justifying ones ground and opposing His purifying love.

His love, Christ, makes all secondary loves, including sexuality, flourish in their proper place.

The Lord isn’t all out to destroy your happiness. He wants you to thrive. He wants to watch you make love to your spouse every day and say “It is good” (Genesis 1:31).

Nothing gives us more satisfaction than knowing that God approves our love-making. He is there! Enjoying every bit of our sweaty and messy selves! He wants you to partake the same. A life of fulfillment. Inside Out. He wants to fill you, put you in the right path and connect you to the right person, in all for His glory.

The Bible says that there is no temptation that is not common to all (1 Cor. 10:13). We have all struggled sexually in different ways.

Some struggle with fornication, adultery, promiscuity, masturbation, pornography, ambivalent feelings towards people of the same sex – that leads them into lesbians or gays. We are all tempted. We give our first kiss, our first intimate cuddle, our first intimate touch, our virginity, way too soon. But the Lord is able to restore.

The aftermath of sin will not bear any sting because His blood cleanses any sin (1 John 1:7) even though it’s as red as scarlet. He is a gracious God. You will not walk again in condemnation but in glorious victory. No groveling in shame, no smudge of disgrace, not waddling but matching in victory.

Begin today. Resolve today. It’s not about you trying so hard by your strength, but relying on Christ to help you wade the tidal waves of promiscuity, and illicit sex. There is hope, there is redemption, there is a God in heaven who is all out to teach us an instruct us in His ways. He desires you to have intimacy. He desires us to have depth, more so in SEX. Boundaries create the depth you need in creating intimacy.

Rise above FOMO! You can either opt for a few ribs on a side plate or wait for “Eat all you can Thursday!” S.E.X. won’t just be an event, but a Sacred Synergy! All for His glory.

 

#marrigeworks

#Godspeed

 

 

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Mary Munene

Totally sold out to Christ. Wife to my amazing John. Blessed to be a mother of a beautiful daughter. The Lord perfecting us in our daily walk! I love marriage in Christ! It's so divine!

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