I remember years back when I consciously made a heavy decision of letting go quickly, more so in my marriage. It was not easy. It’s easier to think that holding offences punishes the offender, but in real sense in kills your marriage- just slow, too slow to be noticeable. One day, you might wake up and you two are bonded by vows but passionless and dead.
Well, I decided to take control over my thoughts, especially when my hubby pisses me off of makes me angry. I decided to be quick to forgive and move on.
Bitterness is a bad fruit my friends. I decided to be the uncomplicated spouse. Am not sure that I do so perfectly, but having “uncomplicated” as a goal, always reminds me of my mission.
I decided that no matter what issues we have or are dealing with, my attitude will still be great – I do try. If my attitude has to remain great and lovable then I have to be great at forgiving him and moving on quickly.
No am not talking about being passive, but active in addressing the issue and forgiving the very next minute.
See, if you want to be happy, you must be deliberate at doing the actions that produce happiness because happiness will not come down all dolled up for your taking. You must seek it by doing acts of grace and kindness.
The Bible tells us to drink water from our own well, in marriage – Proverbs 5:15.
For those who, like me, have grown up in the village, you know very well that drawing water from a well isn’t a piece of cake. It requires bending and a delicate balance lest you fall in. Its hard work.
If you are both angry at each other, pout the whole day and night, give each other some silence treatment, act aloof, then you are giving the devil a foothold in your marriage. We control the thought that we have. No wonder the Lord asks us to take captive of every thought and imagination and subject it under the obedience of Christ –2 Corinthians 10:4-5.
You may be bombarded at first by a wrong thought, thoughts of un-forgiveness, revenge, tit for tat, but remember, the second thought is yours. You can control it. You can brood over your hurt feelings to a point that they hatch little hatchlings of bitterness or you can decide to take the reins over your thoughts, let go of offences, ask the Lord to help you nurture a heart of humility and grace – and that grace is what will carry your marriage through.
If you don’t control your thoughts, negative feelings will birth. You don’t want to nurse a baby called “holding-offences”, that baby is horrendous!
She will suck your marriage dry!