DAY 22: HONOR HIM
D.I.Y: Ask your husband about the things he feels you have knowingly or unknowingly neglected because they are “not too important to you.”
Go point: Be strong! You are there to learn – so don’t get too emotional and distracted. It’s about HIM, not YOU.
Please don’t raise your issues until he has finished talking. Ask “What do you want me to do to be better?”
LISTEN TO HIM!
When I look at the dictionary’s definition of honor, this is what is said. The first definition of honor is, high respect; great esteem. The second definition is the quality of knowing and doing what is morally right. But what strikes me most is the emphasis put on this statement of honor that says, “a woman’s chastity or her reputation for being chaste.”
I love that. It’s like the Lord was waiting for the perfect opportunity to speak to us. The Bible, in 1st Peter 3:1-2, talks about honoring our husbands in ways that will cause them to see so much of Christ in us and admire our godly lives without speaking even a word about it.
This is to us as wives, who have godly or ungodly husbands.
I have come across women who say that their husbands don’t deserve any respect because they are “ungodly.” They are not good examples to their children, they are irresponsible with their actions and words, they are not priests in their homes and all that could be termed as negative. Here is the hammer of Christ that is NEVER EVER, politically or worldly correct. The Word of the Lord does not come with a set of caveat of you disrespecting him – even if he is not born again or saved.
Note, am not taking about abuse. I do not condone abuse and if your relationship is abusive, emotionally or physically, I suggest that you seek help ASAP instead of keeping quiet. Being passive doesn’t cure an ailing marriage. You need to seek counseling form a trusted couple, your pastor or even your parents.
Am talking about a husband who is way less than what you expected him to be. A husband who is not measuring up to your standards. Husbands who are probably struggling with various addictions. That is what I am talking about. Regardless of where he falls on the continuum of faithlessness to faithfulness, you should honor him.
The Bible is very clear on HOW TO HONOR HIM – with your actions. They are won over by OUR ACTIONS, not a day full of bickering and nagging.
Do want your husband to change his ways? Change your lenses through which you see him and consequently, change your actions towards him. Over the years that I have been married, I have come to realize that my attitude is way contagious to my husband than I thought.
I am the thermostat in my home. I set the mood, the temperature, probably even the oxygen levels in our home. When we used to fight immaturely (we still argue, but more maturely now), my husband always said, that he felt like the walls were slowly caving in and all he wanted was to run away before the walls crumbled on him.
Do you make your husband feel like he needs to retreat to the faucet?
Do you honor your husband with your actions?
When you argue, do you throw a tantrum or do you take time to cool down and talk about the issue when you are both calm?
Do you give your husband the SILENT TREATMENT, as a way of letting him know that you are pissed off?
Do you talk ill about him behind his back?
Do you manipulate him into doing your bidding, say, withdrawing intimacy with him?
Do you talk him down using abusive language?
Do you do things around the house like picking up his socks, ironing, doing laundry with a mouthful of complains?
Are you always critical?
Do your actions honor your husband and can he confidently say that you point Christ to him in the way that you live? Think about it.
VERSE OF THE DAY: 1st Peter 3:1-2 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
You have called us to honor our marriages with our words and our actions. Help me Lord put on a gentle spirit according to your Word that I may honor my husband in all that I do.
Lord, with my human frailties, I cannot do it. I need you Jesus. Help me love him unconditionally, looking out for his interests and preferences. Help me put my SELF to death. Increase in me that He will see you Jesus when he looks at me.
Help me win him over by my gracious acts, my seasoned speech, and my joyous self. Whatever I do in word or in deed, may you be glorified.
I desire a godly marriage. I desire a godly husband. Help me win him over to you Jesus by honoring him.
In Jesus name I pray,