DAY 28: BE HIS FAITHFUL STUDENT
D.I.Y: Sit your husband down and ask him how you have been for the years, months, weeks or days you have been married. If it’s been days, make your goals together as a couple. If it’s been months or even years, review your past mistakes, loopholes and ask him where you think you should improve.
Go point: It’s a learning time, so open your ears wider than your mouth.
Have you been there? Where you mouth doesn’t seem to close and you are ranting out words before even thinking about them.
Remember how a new class seemed thrilling at first? A new desk, a new environment, new teachers, but then the rubber meets the road when you realize that you have new sets of books that need to be memorized, new formulas to put in mind, and all that within a short span of time?
That’s marriage. We have to push through the learning curves.
We all need to remain as student in our marriage. You cannot graduate, till death does you part. That is the wisdom that’s needed in marriage.
Ladies, we might think that we know our husbands too well but don’t be so presumptuous. Life has a way of changing many things in our marriage and one of it are our husbands. Your husband. You cannot deem yourself as a relationship expert in your marriage. Your husband probably is growing but you cannot seem to see it since you are preoccupied with the expert bit than the student bit. We must grow, and for us to grow, we must be committed to being faithful students to our spouses.
Love is organic. It’s got all the facet of a living organism. It needs to grow, it needs to mature, it needs to be firmly rooted.
One of the best ways to remain faithful student to our spouses is to ask questions. I love knowing how I am doing in my marriage. So I ask questions. I ask my husband how I handled a particular situation, how I was last week, is there anything he found or find annoying, does he need me to adjust in on anything. He gets to ask me too. It’s the natural verbiage, that cuts across both genders with ease.
So get to ask questions. If he says something you don’t like hearing, don’t get defensive. Say, “I am sorry it appeared that way to you, I will work on it.” It’s a commitment you have put to WORK ON IT. Change is not always within the blink of an eye. As long as he is fluid, and you are too, cheer yourselves on. There might be occasional slips, but pick yourselves up again and give ourselves another assessment.
Humility is another word in being a faithful student. Pride makes us think that we know it all. We become impervious to correction. Especially correction from them that have gone before you and even your own husband. Humility as cliché as it sounds needs us to sink low, get down form our majestic seats, put down our pride and ego and be ready to learn.
Last but not the least. Never work with ASSUMPTIONS. Assumptions creates a breeding ground for familiarity. Nothing is a poisonous to a marriage as familiarity.
It causes you to stop putting your best foot forward. You think that you know it all, after all, you have been alright. You begin thinking that you know how his day was, how he like his food made, how he answers questions. You stop asking for his input because “you know how he will respond”. Watch out! Those are slippery grounds!
You can never know enough in marriage. Every season will present to you a different person as a spouse. Be ready to adjust, learn, or even unlearn, and grow!
So ask questions to your husband. Be a faithful student.
VERSE OF THE DAY: Ecclesiastes 6:11 The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?
You have called us to be slow to speak, but be quick to listen. I pray that I will learn to listen to my husband and ask question so that I can grow. I pray that I will not be too hardheaded nor selfish to think that I know it all in my marriage. I pray for a heart full of humility because humility makes it easier for us to learn.
Help me be a faithful student to my husband. Always ready to learn. Always ready to listen.
In Jesus name I pray,