DAY 29: TRUST HIM
D.I.Y: Take a pen and write down things that you feel you are not overly confident with about your husband. One by one pray about them then set a time to talk about them with your husband. At the end of the day remember to say, “I trust you.”
Go point: Remember to be gracious with your words. Be sure you have the right atmosphere to talk about them. If not, wait until you have the right atmosphere. Do not be accusatory too.
Trust. Marriage needs trust and we ought to trust our husbands if marriage has to work in the long haul otherwise you will turn out to be snoopy and bitter wife.
First and foremost, let us address the elephant in most of our rooms. Do you always have the nudge to go through your husband’s chats, call logs, emails etc.? Then that means that trust is hemorrhaging out in your marriage and it’s important that you address it before the cracks turn into deep wedges.
Sometimes they just have a long day or going through turns, they scream out in silence, but we rarely see. We are always preoccupied with the self, and if we do, we are accusatory, with lots of screaming and shouting instead of addressing the issue. Instead of dealing with the issue, we ask “who.” “Who have you been talking to?” “Who makes you come home late?” “Who do you chat with at night.”
Of course, the Lord has given us excellent 6th senses, but we fail when don’t know how to address issues, instead fight to be heard.
Remember Abigail? The Bible says that she was a woman of good understanding. We have to be women of good understanding. Observe his mannerisms for a while before addressing the issue. If you address the issue, ask the Lord to put a muzzle on your mouth that you will not be abusive, abrasive, or quarrelsome, rather talk with sensibility and grace.
Words spoken cannot be taken back, they can only be forgiven. Do not be in a rush to accuse your husband. Ask the Lord to give you the right words to say. No matter how difficult the situation is.
A time comes in marriage that one needs to grow. We ought to learn how to fight fair. Don’t be all out to win an argument but lose him in the process. 1 Corinthians 13:11 says “When I was a child, I talked like a child. I thought like a child. I reasoned like a child. But I have put away my childish ways.”
Secondly, it’s important to know that having trust issues might not necessary be coming from him but yourself. If you have experienced heartache and never dealt with that baggage, chances are that you will project to him thinking that he is the issue yet it’s your heart. Our marriage was hard in the first year largely because I hadn’t dealt with my bitter heart. I kept that compartment closed, thinking that my marriage would never be affected by it, but it did. I projected to my husband every time he let me down but he wasn’t the issue, my heart was.
Until I let Christ heal that part of me that I thought I had under control.
Do you have issues form the past that you haven’t dealt with?
Did your past relationships drain your esteem out?
Did they tell you that you will never be enough for marriage?
Did someone make you feel worthless and irrelevant?
Deal with your heart. Ask the Lord to help you overcome those feelings of worthlessness. He is able to. If you don’t you might put pressure on your husband to give you the sense of wholeness that you need to feel, always approve you, never make you sad or angry, yet he is not God. He will make you sad, he will hurt your feelings, he cannot make you whole. Only Christ can.
Last but not the least, trust extends from the biggest to the smallest decisions in our families.
Sometime back, I was still working in the office when my husband called. He wanted to know if I had left to go home. I told him that I would be leaving in a few minutes. He said that he needed something to be done, that required me to leave the office ASAP and go home. I said that I would leave in an hour’s time.
Of course being the sweet soul that he is, he said it’s alright. As I hang up the phone, the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Why do you ask for my help and you cannot trust your husband’s “little” decisions?” I didn’t think twice, I closed the laptop, called back and told him that I have left.
Little did I know that it made his heart overjoyed. He spoke about it the whole evening. Saying how good he felt to be trusted. I would have missed the point taking it as trifle.
Do you trivialize your husband’s decisions?
He needs to know that you can trust in him as your husband. It may seem irrelevant or insignificant, but his heart cries for your affirmation. That you can trust him in anything. If you think your husband makes “not so wise” moves, you have the Lord to ask to enable him make the best decisions for you. He is able to direct his heart towards the best for you.
Trust the Lord instead on his behalf. It will keep your heart at rest, and your spirit from fretting.
VERSE OF THE DAY: 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
I thank you for giving me yet another chance to demonstrate your love towards my husband. This time Lord, I ask you through the power of the Holy Spirit, to help me trust my husband. He may not do things my way, but help me know that he is depending on you, therefore, I can safely trust in the decisions he makes for our family.
Help me trust him and give me words to tell him that I trust him. Above all Lord, help my actions communicate that I do trust him because essentially Lord, am trusting in You on his behalf.
In Jesus name I pray,