DAY 30: COVER HIM
D.I.Y: Take some time to talk with your husband. Ask him if there are times he felt that you had not covered him. Listen well. Apologize for hurting his feelings and ask how you can remedy the situation. It’s alright to buy him a gift, hug him and assure him of your loyalty. He needs to know that you’re on his side no matter what.
Go point: Be attentive. Do not make the same mistake twice.
I would like to thank every lady who has taken this challenge with me. I pray that it has made a difference, even though not tangible to your husband YET, but to yourself. The aim of this was to bring us to a place where we learn to be grateful for what is there, be positive in our marriages, fan the strengths of our husbands and rest on the Lord to perfect their hearts.
We cannot change our husbands but we are entirely responsible for the change that we can ignite in our hearts. That way, we can win them over without a word (1st Peter 3:1), without pestering and without bickering.
There is a reason why the Lord calls you your husband’s rib. The Bible tells us to manage our homes with chastity, being discreet, self-controlled and keepers of our homes. Titus 2:5.
A rib is part of the rib cage that protects vital organs of our bodies and one of them, is the heart.
Your husband, even if so endearing that he took you over to the moon on your honeymoon, is still human to the core. He will disappoint you. He may work so hard to make you happy, provide for you, but among all those little gestures of love, there will be one trigger that will spin your head off. He will let you down.
Your expectations on him might not be fully borne. So get understanding, know that his frailties present perfect opportunities for you to demonstrate Christ’s love to him. He will make mistakes but a wise woman covers her husband’s weaknesses. It is very unwise of you hang your husband’s dirty linen in public hoping that it will fuel some drastic change in him.
I have seen women using social media to unpack their husbands’ debauchery. Have you ever followed up on those husbands to see if such “moves” act as catalysts of change?
The truth is, they don’t. they don’t change, in fact some feel “liberated” that it’s all out in the open! No more hiding! Free to live life as he wants. What follows later is a woman who is not only angry, betrayed and hurt, but broken and left stalk naked as the world sits down to have popcorn and coke over the free drama series being unfolded. The world has no mercy! Your drama airs on their set boxes free.
Mrs. Putting up your husband’s lack of control to the public doesn’t bind up your wounded heart. It will not heal your heart. It will NOT make it any less messy. There are numerous ways to deal with that situation, but what is right might not be popular and what is popular, is not always right. So be wise.
First, seek help. Don’t be silent. Covering him is not being passive of the transgressions or his infidelity.
It’s not putting up a face of pretense that all is well, because it’s not. It’s not pretending that you can live with him through his unfaithfulness. Its knowing how to deal with that issue discreetly with the right people, the right way. Seek help from Godly counselors, your best couple, parents of both sides and a pastor. They will help get to the root of issues, rather than being superficial about it. They will help you deal with it.
If he is abusive, it’s alright to be safe away for a while as you both worth through the mess. It’s alright to be angry, but don’t let your anger escalate to sin. Get a good support system, not people who will pour fuel in an already blazing house. Such are not keen on reconciliation or healing of your marriage nor your heart(s).
Covering him extends to your children too. Their little voices are not to be muzzled. Your children should not be put in the middle of your issues. Protect their little hearts. Quarreling, fighting and throwing hurtful words before your children is very foolish. You are poisoning their hearts and they might grow up thinking that the only way to sort out conflict is battling it out.
Covering him involves begin a provider when he has been laid off and still maintaining that level of respect that you accorded him while he was still providing. It’s in regarding him even before your children, making them know how adorable their daddy is, even if he still doesn’t have an income at that moment. It’s in asking for his input in planning, in budgeting, in all, even if you are the bread winner!
Too much you think, do you still want a marriage I ask?
Covering him extends to your parents too. It’s in letting them know respectfully that you will consult your husband in certain issues they want done. They need to know that you two are one even if you are their daughter. Not running to your husband saying, “Daddy told me to do a, b, c”, being so assertive and aggressive about it, yet your husband has no idea about it. If you think it’s a good idea, how about bringing it to him as a suggestion, not a demand.
Covering him extends to your siblings who should know that your finances are one. You don’t send money aimlessly without consulting him and that you two have no financial secrets. They should know that he is the head of the house. Your basket is one, not ‘yours’ and ‘his.’
Covering him extends to your peers and friends. You don’t trivialize your husband before them even if he has said the wrong thing in a conversation. You stand with him! You will correct each other once you are together in the confines of your home.
You have to protect his ego, his reputation, his name, his position, his authority, his place. No one should make a joke out of him. He is the king in your kingdom!
Think back, have you made your husband feel “naked” but leaning too much on the side he is not?
Have you trivialized him before his peers, made him feel “small”, or cannot handle a situation the way X,Y,Z handle it?
Time to take back your position as a virtuous woman. As a godly wife who is chaste and discreet in managing her home.
Cover him, you are his shield, you are his rib!
Love is patient, love is kind, love is long-suffering, long bears it all. Love never fails.
VERSE OF THE DAY: Genesis 2:22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
Thank you for this challenge that I have taken for 30 days. Lord I thank you for this far.
Knowing your heart has brought me to a better place as a wife. Help me know you know more Jesus Define me, fill me, saturate me with the power of the Holy Spirit.
As I come to the end of this challenge, I pray that it will be the begging of great things in my marriage. Use me as an instrument of love towards my husband. I pray that I will have the grace to cover my husband with all his weaknesses. Help me Lord bear his burdens with love and grace. I pray that I will submit to him in love. I pray that I will protect his heart. I pray that my mouth will build him in every way.
Lord, I desire a great marriage. A thriving marriage. One that has your aroma all over it. Turn our marriage around for your glory. Help us fulfill our purposes on earth as we live out for you Jesus.
Above all, help our marriage turn our children into your disciples. Children who will grow to love and cherish you Jesus with all their hearts, with all their strength, and will all their minds.
In Jesus name I pray,