In Reflections of My Soul, Singleness & Relationships


I was honored to minister to a couple of young ladies sometime back when a young lady in the stirred crowd raised her hand up. I could see her soul aching to ask ‘that sole question.’ I was sure that this was not her first time to ask, neither would it be her last if she still felt discontented. Her rest would only hit home if she totally trusted in the one who curved out her desires.

“I have a question…”

“Yes, please, you may ask.”

“Can my boyfriend and I kiss without caressing and having sex?” “Why is it wrong to kiss if we are consciously aware of not having sex?”

I smiled at her, deeply longing to let her know that her desires were all right, as a matter of fact alright, but the “awakening” time could be wrong.

I was well aware that she was probably not the only one with the same ‘burn’ among the not-yet-married.

I cannot even begin to count the number of us who gave our first kiss, first cuddle, our first touch away before meeting our spouses. If given a second chance, how many of us would preserve the sacredness of marital intimacy to that degree?

How could I answer her without taking her back to the genesis of it all? Where it all began? Who began it and why? When should it all stop at? A hug? A kiss? A subtle caress? What parameters show that one is trending on slimy water? What shows that we are skiing down the fast lane of immorality, promiscuity and an avalanche of inevitable emotional scars are coming?

Hebrews 13:4 says, Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

So its absolute that sex has its fertile place. God wasn’t out of His mind when he declared it sacred and Holy. Sex is not cheap and its sacredness ought to be preserved if we are to get the best out of it.

It means that aside from our desires and drives, God still has His picture in relation to sex and, His picture, towers high above what is cheaply pawed off as a lasting joy. 

It means that God knows the consequences of our misplaced desires, and a misuse doesn’t disprove its proper use.

“But what about kissing?” What about fondling?” “What about coddling against each other and other things?” After all, no one is literally getting naked?

You and I know that the scriptures do not answer these very obvious questions we face in life. Practically speaking, God has never answered such questions directly in his Word. However, God’s word is sufficient in answering all the above. It is the only cure to our sexual malady, in whichever form it’s plagued us.

If we put our emotions, our prejudices and preferences aside and focus on His word without the clutter of the world, then we will find the VERY TRUE answers to this questions. He says, “and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32.

May He take over…




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Mary Munene

Totally sold out to Christ. Wife to my amazing John. Blessed to be a mother of a beautiful daughter and a handsome son. The Lord perfecting us in our daily walk! I love marriage in Christ! It's so divine!

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Posted on May 10, 2019



  1. Emma
    2 years ago

    I have just come across this website and I like it. I will be here reading a few more articles…thanks

    1. Mary Munene
      2 years ago

      Keep being blessed Emma!


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