Finally, after all is said and done, is social media a bad space to be in? Can any good come from social media?
As aforementioned, technology, is both a burden and a blessing; not either-or, but this-and-that. What makes the difference, is what you envision to do from the onset with that technology. It can bring out the best in every situation, but it can unleash demons too.
There are glaring dangers and pitfalls that married couples need to keep in mind, but that’s not all. When used with a defined purpose, clarity, wisdom and discernment, social media can be very effective in connecting, building and strengthening marriages.
Couples can use their pages to share their experiences in their marriage. Of course this comes with lots of consideration of each other’s privacy and call. Social media can also be used to bond a community together of people with the same goals and vision especially towards marriage and godly relationships.
It’s also a perfect space to hold each other accountable especially if the ministry involves lots of interaction with people.
Social media can be a good place to re-ignite one’s marriage every day. You can chat with your spouse online and share jokes. It’s a fun place to talk with your spouse, but it should NEVER replace your face to face communication.
That said, I would still like to throw a word of caution to the married folks.
Every account that one sets up on any social media platform requires authentication from a single person. We do not expect every marriage to function as same, but we advocate for “open door policies” for couples who are on these platforms.
It doesn’t mean that you distrust each other, but for a marriage to be strong and to avoid loopholes of channeling even “perceived” or imagined feelings of mistrust, husbands and wives to share their passwords with one another. It is the best form of accountability.
We want to re-emphasize that this isn’t about lack of trust. Husbands and wives don’t need to “baby-sit” each other to make sure that no one gets out of line.
At the most basic level, this is simply a question of remaining above reproach. It’s a way of staying accountable to one another and to the rest of the world. The apostle Paul urges Christians to steer clear not only of evil itself but even of the mere appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22). This is something believers need to take seriously, both in their marriages and in their interactions with others.
And that’s not all. The “open door policy” can actually foster a healthy sense of freedom in a marriage when it’s utilized in the right way. If it doesn’t — that is, if it turns into a kind of “monitoring,” a la “Big Brother” — that probably indicates that a couple already had trust issues before they got involved with social media.
Where this is the case, they could probably benefit by engaging the help of a trained counselor.
If your communication as a couple is suffering, Facebook isn’t likely to help. As a matter of fact, it will probably only make matters worse.
It’s important to add that sharing passwords or, if appropriate, maintaining a shared account can also be a way of building a hedge around your marriage. It’s a strategy for protecting your relationship against outside threats. Whether you’ve been married for thirty days or thirty years, you’re never really immune to the threat of an extra-marital affair.
There are also some practical measures you can implement to limit the amount of time you’re spending with social media. Apart from sharing passwords, and establishing boundaries, help each other scrutinize profiles or run through each other “some profiles” you feel are not helpful – especially those that post vulgar, negative or dirty messages.
As parents, we ought to exemplify good practices. Ask yourself, if my children were to read this, would they be edified or disgusted?
Use the social media to serve your purposes and strategies rather than allowing them to dominate you. Sometimes, leave behind your hand-held devices while you’re doing more important things.
Conquer social media together!