I sat on my bed. Anxiously waiting for his reply. I knew it was coming. Yet I wasn’t ready for it. The days prior to this dreaded day had been frosty, foggy, misty, clouded, hard not enough adjectives could make out the true picture of my heart.
My heart tugged was between two instincts. To mend the broken bridges and the other instinct was to let go. The battle was intense that I was not ready to keep up with it anymore. It was an actual riptide.
One push urged me not to let go, for “who will ever love me again?” and the other whispered back, “I am here to love you enough!”
Voices cluttered my head. Banging and jamming against my frontals. Hades can be real on earth. There were quiet whispers at one moment, and the next, the voices were howling, screeching and screaming out loud. I was drowning, fast.
About 99 percent of us go through breakups in relationships that we have invested in.
Some of us, most of us, invest much more than others and as much as pain cannot be quantified, its common knowledge that the more you invest, the higher the stakes of loss, the deeper and gruesome the pain and the longer the stretch towards healing.
That is why break-ups are painful. Too agonizing.
The text finally came. “Move on with your life!” Those words were like little shrapnel piercing my heart. I think I conked out for a few minutes only to wake up to the dark reality again. My light filled heart, now agape with impassioned sorrow filled trenches.
I was angry at the world, angry at him, mad at my myself, mad at him, then like a soggy cookie, I crumbled down, and wailed out so loud. The beautiful journey to my “happily ever after” was over.
As usual, like any other breakup, the mind has a way of trying to anesthetize the pain of immediacy. “Maybe I overreacted.” “I think I acted too fast.” “Should I apologize for this?” “What have I done!”
We live in a society that has turned the journey towards marriage a crass form of self-merchandising. We have completely moved away from the right ways of dating and courtship and yet still expect to reap the same fruits as those who do it right. The Bible is very clear, we reap what we sow. Galatians 6:7
Some of us learn from our mistakes, other repeat again the same cycle over and over. As a result, we breed bile in our hearts and hate on them who seem to be fluid.
While some break-ups are sometimes inevitable; since life in itself is unexpected, most of us went through breakups because we simply did not do things right. Even now, some, will read through this obstinately thinking, “what the dickens! What exactly do know Mary?”
Well, God knows I know too little to pack up a library, but the little He has revealed to me, I give.
We show each other half-truths or compromise enough to be loved. We thrive more on the adrenaline that comes with coffees, selfies, likes on Instagram or Facebook, or strolling down the streets as all others doll over us, yet never seem to go deep enough to plumb into the tides that would eventually rip us apart.
From my experience, there are a couple of issues that single people don’t like to be told. I have been there. Yet we cannot grow without our bad branches pruned off. I have never seen a nail-cutter prune off a branch, but i have seen shears do a perfect job!
The truth hurts, it always does. If it doesn’t then you are probably too calloused or the piper is playing to your tune and you are paying the piper.
The Truth who is Christ is the only True north that can guide us in this treacherous walk, that we many not drown in the riptides.