One of the things most of us struggle with is trying to find God in hard spaces, in struggles and in intense battle, yet He is there.
Today, was that kind of day for me. I found my hard space in between a cop, a rogue driver, passengers and a couple of by standers – none of whom were listening to me.
Yes, the driver admitted to his wrong, but didn’t want to act on my terms but what favoured him.
The cop, was so lenient, I could almost have sworn they were brothers if not accomplices.
The passengers were too agitated over our “lack of truce.”
The bystanders had all the knowledge to give me on where to find quick fixes for the car.
I was left to sort out my feelings, the dents and broken mirrors of our car, as the cop took down his notes, not sure of his next step.
The driver, well, arrogant isn’t a word to describe him.
I was torn between acting according to my will, my flesh, my agitated self, what “Mary would typically do” and simply asking the Lord for the wisdom to know what to say at that point.
It was as if my body was being dismembered.
I literally felt as rein put over my mouth.
That space was not comfortable for me.
Even as I waited for the abstracts and all to be written, I kept searching my heart, all asking the Lord to reveal Himself in my not so good situation.
I have wrestled this feeling the whole evening. I even asked our daughter to “pray for mommy since she is not feeling too well.”
She said, “God will fix you mommy.”
I then shared it with my hubby and he said something too profound to me, – “Struggle works for our good too. Though we may not feel it is, but God’s peace prevails upon us once we understand it’s for our good and find Him in it, not the devil. “
He later prayed for me. Nothing like having a Godly man who can intercede for you in those hard spaces.
As I broke down before the Lord, yes, God just revealed this day to me. This hard space was transforming me again. See, God’s Word is clear that when we choose to follow Him, we should expect to be changed—not a little, but entirely transformed. [Romans 12:2]
He really doesn’t transform us by lightning a simple matchbox to make us feel a little heat. He turns on the kiln furnace and pushes you right in to the core.
If it will take a rogue driver to transform your heart for His glory, He will do it.
If it will take Him to break up your relationship to submit to Him instead of a mortal human, He will do it.
If it will take Him to allow grief upon you to fully rely on Him for strength, He will do it.
If He will allow a retrenchment to break your pride down, Ohhh, He loves that part!
His kind of change doesn’t make our lives just perfect—but it does make them expansive.
He who can calm the storm, raise the dead, and mystify the wisdom of the world still chooses to enter into individual lives with such humility that we often don’t know it’s happened until we look back and realize He’s been there for a long time.
The struggles we face are not just real, they are also good. They are the very substances God uses to form our character and move us toward freedom.
They are the trenches where we work out the important stuff of life—where we learn how to overcome everyday frustrations, messy relationships, and our lack of joy and purpose—to become people of honesty, depth, and strength, all for His glory.
Yes, the struggle is real. But in the midst of the hard, heavy, and confusing, we have a God who has provided a way for us to not only understand life, but to grow stronger and smarter through it all.
Am sleeping with the peace of God that surpasses all human understanding.
He is still there in my hard spaces, working all out FOR MY GOOD.