LESSON 6: MATTERS MARRIGE REQUIRE PARENTAL BLESSINGS.
So the young woman ran and told her mother’s household these things.
Now Rebekah had a brother whose name was Laban, and Laban ran out to the man by the well.
So it came to pass, when he saw the nose ring, and the bracelets on his sister’s wrists, and when he heard the words of his sister Rebekah, saying, “Thus the man spoke to me,” that he went to the man. And there he stood by the camels at the well.
And he said, “Come in, O blessed of the Lord! Why do you stand outside? For I have prepared the house, and a place for the camels.”
Then the man came to the house. And he unloaded the camels, and provided straw and feed for the camels, and water to wash his feet and the feet of the men who were with him. Food was set before him to eat, but he said, “I will not eat until I have told about my errand.”
And he said, “Speak on.”
“You have my consent; God bless you as you both begin this Journey. We love you and we wish you nothing but God’s grace in your marriage.” Dad and mam looked at us with a warm and fulfilled smile. The message was written all over their faces, WE HAD THEIR BLESSINGS.
I remember the day that I had to introduce Johnny to my family. My sister and brother had met him. There were still two more most important people in my life that he had to meet. Momma and Papa. The thought of it sent jitters down my spine.
It was a mixture of excitement and anxious wait. I wondered how they would see him or perceive him. I had done my part and earnestly prayed to God to get my parents blessings. It was important for me to get their blessings and approval and if you are in this journey, so should you.
The Bible says in Ephesians 6:1-2, it is written; Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise. Children obey your parents in the Lord.
You see, the thing about God, is that he places all His commandments contingent upon him. We do not honor our parents because they are so good, so efficient, or so present, we honor them because its unto the Lord. If we have to peg or our honor on their goodness, then God would cease to be God.
It is the only commandment that caries the promise of long life to us as their children. So what happens that as grow up, we lose the honor that we once accorded them? Pride.
Pride sits still at the heart of every man or woman waiting for the right time to awaken. Such an opportunity presents itself during the time of courtship and marriage. Yet, there’s no other befitting time in the life of child, that one needs parental blessings as when we are stepping into the season of marriage.
I love how Johnny put it in the series “HONOR TO PARENTS” – He said, “You need them more than they need you! God placed them in your life for a purpose and a reason. Honor them.”
Honor is not just simply obeying a set of rules, following without knowing its end. Its holding someone or something with the highest regard. It’s not just captivating someone, but capturing someone’s heart by what you do for them and to them.
Rebecca could have chosen to keep all the events by the well to herself. She could have chosen to simply go with Eliezer and the men, after all, the mission was for her, but she didn’t. The regard she had for her Lord, pushed her to do what was right. To honor her father and mother.
Eliezer too understood what honor was, and he followed her together with his entourage to ask for her hand in marriage.
Interest in each other is not to be a carte blanche for self-absorption or disregard to your parents. Just because you think that your love will suffice in the long haul, doesn’t give you the elbow room to dishonor your parents.
“What if they don’t approve my choice?” See, that is still a test of honor. Find time when you could just be you, together with your parents. Tone is something, attitude is everything.
Tell them that you are grateful they brought you up and will never be able to repay them. However, your heart has led you to your said choice, and it would mean a lot to you if they could just bless you. They may still be adamant, or they could listen. If they are adamant, give them time but in that time, still show honor to them.
Cover your beloved by giving gifts to your parents and say ‘they are from your fiancé/fiancée.’ Pull your parents towards your choice.
As one who is marrying or being married into that family, patience is key. You are not to fight them nor speak ill against them. The word has given us a tool to use. Prayer, and on top of that, act.
How do you act? Once in a while, say hello. Encourage your fiancé/ fiancee to reach out to their family, do not encourage discord or hate.
Sometimes honoring them will require you to stand up firm with your decision. Honor needs strength! It doesn’t mean that you hate them, but drawing up the boundaries that will still be equally important in making your marriage work.
Of course every family has its own curves and patterns, so chose wisdom in every step of the way. Honor your parents in the Lord, for this is not only good, perfect, nice, but RIGHT.