DAY 9: TRUST HIM
1 Corinthians 13:7 – …Love always trusts.
What did you feel when you first laid your eyes on your loved one ?Butterflies I guess, jitters, possibly coyed in a shy demeanor.
The crazy emotions were real, remember?
But as time progressed on, you two realized that those emotions acted well in bringing you together, but more had to be given, more had to be sacrificed – emotions could not suffice.
Love was more than an “ideal” state, or an abstraction. It was and is as real as an action.
The Bible then puts forward for us a word that slips out of our mouths too easily, “always”. Love, always trusts.
We need to understand that the act of trusting in love, does not mean gullibility, or lacking understanding on your part as wife.
It’s not foolishness, blindness or naivity. It’s not an emotional high. Love in fact, does open your eyes to a lot of things. Love is never blind, but chooses to cover a multitude of sins through grace, always.
Love always trusts.
That said, marriage needs trust and we ought to trust our husbands if marriage has to work in the long haul.
A marriage that runs on the lubricant of trust works, otherwise, it shrivels up in the soil of distrust.
It becomes more of a contract than a covenant. More of travailing than thriving.
So, do you always have the nudge to go through your husband’s chats, call logs, emails etc?
Probably it came from your past experience, probably it’s just a “measure”, a guard rail you have to shield yourself against betrayal.
All those actions, subtle or overt, means that trust is hemorrhaging out of your marriage and it’s important that you address them before the cracks turn into deep wedges.
Of course, the Lord has given us excellent 6th senses, but we fail when don’t know how to address issues, instead, fight to be heard, or even feed our insecurities more.
Remember Abigail? The Bible says that she was a woman of good understanding. We have to be women of good understanding.
Observe his mannerisms for a while before addressing the issues you have.
If you find a compelling reason, address it, but, ask the Lord to put a muzzle on your mouth that you will not be abusive, abrasive, or quarrelsome, rather, talk with sensibility and grace.
Words spoken cannot be taken back, they can only be forgiven.
Do not be in a rush to accuse your husband. Ask the Lord to give you the right words to say. No matter how difficult the situation is.
God has given every wife that space to tap His power from, even in the middle of very imperfect and difficult homes.
Secondly, it’s important to know that having trust issues might not necessary mean he’s at fault. The source could be frothing not from him, but yourself.
If you have experienced heartache and never dealt conclusively and honestly with that baggage, chances are that you will project it to him thinking that he is the issue, yet, it’s all about your heart’s state.
Our marriage was hard in the first year for many reasons, and one of the them was the bitterness that was deeply seated in my heart.
I kept that compartment closed, thinking that my marriage would never be affected by it, but it did.
I projected,very often, to my husband every time he let me down.
He wasn’t perfect, but my bitterness couldn’t let me enjoy the fullness of our marriage.
Even when he did his best, I still could not see that he was doing his best to make sure i was fine.
I put the expectation of being happy squarely on him.
I finally surrendered my bitter past to God. I realized that it’s was not his fault, nor was our marriage bad, but I had let my bitterness keep me from a glorious future. I thought I had it all under control, but I didn’t.
Do you have issues from the past that you haven’t dealt with?
Did your past relationships drain your esteem out?
Did they tell you that you will never be enough for marriage?
Did someone make you feel worthless, unlovable and irrelevant?
Deal with your heart. Ask the Lord to help you overcome those feelings of worthlessness. He is able to.
If you don’t you might put pressure on your husband to give you the sense of wholeness that you need to feel. You will always want him to approve you, never make you sad or angry, yet he is not God.
Your husband will make you sad, irritated, he will hurt your feelings, in short, he cannot make you whole. Only Christ can.
Last but not the least, trust extends from the biggest to the smallest decisions in our families.
Sometime back, I was still working in the office when my husband called. He wanted to know if I had left to go home. I told him that I would be leaving in a few minutes.
He said that he needed something to be done, that required me to leave the office ASAP and go home. I said that I would leave in an hour’s time.
Of course being the sweet soul he is, he said it’s alright.
As I hang up the phone, the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “Why do you ask for my help ASAP, and you cannot trust your husband’s “little” reasons for asking you to go?”
I didn’t think twice, I closed the laptop, called back and told him that I have left.
That that simple action made his heart overjoyed. He spoke about it the whole evening. Saying how good he felt to be trusted. I would have missed the point taking it as trifle.
Do you trivialize your husband’s decisions or requests since they don’t seem urgent to you?
He needs to know that you can trust in him as your husband. His decisions might seem irrelevant or insignificant, but his heart cries for your affirmation. A deep call that you can trust him in anything.
If you think your husband makes “not so wise” moves, you have the Lord to ask to enable him make the best decisions for you. He is able to direct his heart towards the best for you.
If your trust has been broken, the Lord knows. Do not think that the Lord does not see. However, what the Lord says to us is that we need to quit fighting over and over, instead, trust the Lord on behalf of our husbands.
He’s privy to their weaknesses and frailties.We have to pry our hands off the control card we think we have by being snoopy and always on the look out.
Sometimes adapting some space will help you heal through betrayal. If it will help your heart listen and receive from Christ instead of being bitter, adopt it. God is interested in the health of your soul and spirit too.
He says, “quit trying so hard to bring it all together, quit bickering everyday, quit fighting over and over, instead trust me to work on your behalf!”
Fellow wives, marriage is not a journey of certainly nor perfection, it’s a hard journey of faith.
It’s a purposeful journey of putting our husbands everyday into the hands of Christ that He will guide them. Our beauty cannot charm their hearts enough, nor our bodies, as alluring as they are, stir enough chemistry to glue them home.
Only the beauty that we excude through the fragrance of Christ can. Only our inner garments, woven intricately into the essence of Christ, can attract them enough. Only hearts that fully trust in the Lord can.
Trusting in God is the ultimate way of trusting our husbands.
This day, choose to quit snooping around and fretting about everywhere he goes. You have a Father, who can watch over him.
Cast your anxious thoughts on Him. The first thought might fly off into your mind and frighten you, but you have power to control the second, third and all other thoughts that follow.
VERSE OF THE DAY: 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
D.I.Y: Take a pen and write down things that you feel you are not overly confident with about your husband. One by one pray about them then set a time to talk about them with your husband.
At the end of the day, make a commitment and say, “I choose to trust you.”
Go point: Remember to be gracious with your words. Be sure you have the right atmosphere to talk about them. If not, wait until you have the right atmosphere. Do not be accusatory too. If you fe
I thank you for giving me yet another chance to demonstrate your love towards my husband. This time Lord, I ask you through the power of the Holy Spirit, to help me trust my husband.
He may not do things my way, but help me know that he is depending on you, therefore, I can safely trust in the decisions he makes for our family.
Help me trust him and give me words to tell him that I trust him. Above all Lord, help my actions communicate that I do trust him because essentially Lord, am trusting in You on his behalf.
In Jesus name I pray,