DAY 10: MAKE PEACE WITH HIM
As I type this, there is, and I know with absolute certainty, that you are there, fellow wife, so angry with your husband that you two are barely talking.
Maybe you have not talked since yesterday at night, or it’s been a week, a month, maybe three?
I know you cannot bring yourself to say “Hey!” let alone sit down face to face without feeling like you might blow up on his face.
Or maybe you are talking, but you have tight knots down your belly that won’t loosen up. You want to “get back to him”, make him feel as you are feeling right now, watch him as he writhes in the same emotional pain– I know.
I know starting out the reconciliation process is nowhere near your vicinity.
…but somehow you are torn…
Your spirit cries out for peace, while your flesh tags you towards revenge.
Your spirit cries out for harmony, while your flesh tells you to walk on – peace is relative – get on with your things.
It’s a deception. A rose colored deception, that we can “get on” with our things, without our minds being bogged down in total turmoil.
I know, I have been there, many times than I could count.
Isn’t it hard? Especially if he’s the one who has offended you? We would rather wait for them to pull their acts together, and be the first to say ‘am sorry’. Right?
Totally understandable, I do, but for how long? How long will you both rotate around the circle of holding offences while none of you wants to grow?
Who will dare win by losing first?
As we close this month, into the new one, the Lord is asking us today to be the willing factors in our marriages. To be the change catalysts. To begin the new month in His light. To unclasp our tight hands off the grip of “score keeping”, and stretch them out to our husbands.
We are to make peace with them….and it’s hard!
As I pondered about the attitude of a peacemaker, I realized that its more than just an attitude we need to adopt as wives. It’s an attribute, a character to have on our pathway to heaven.
Matthew 5: 9 says, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.
It’s not just enough to say that we are saved, and are sure of making to heaven while our homes are reeking putrefied garbage of strife and conflict.
The pathway to heaven has those stoppage signs to let us know how we are faring on our Christian walk.
God is a God of peace. He did not want us to perish, hence sent His son, Christ, to die for our sins. The ultimate penance for our sins, unblemished, unstained, hang on the rugged cross, just to reconcile us to His Father.
Colossians 1:20 says, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.
What He loves, we ought to love. What He pursues, we ought to pursue. You and I, fellow wives, can know if we have the heart of Christ by our willingness to make sacrifices for peace the way God did.
If we keep posting about being God’s child, and are not led by His Spirit which bears peace, then we are living in deception – His truth is not in us.
It’s not a wonder that the first fruits of the HolySpirit are the triumvirate of Love, Joy, and Peace.
As I write this, the HolySpirit is deeply convicting me in my personal gaps about peace. You and I cannot sit back every time we have been offended, tight lipped, waiting for our husbands to make a truce with us.
You both didn’t sign a treaty. It’s a covenant, and covenants were, and are far from easy.
We might think that it makes them lazy in matters reconciliation, but it actually teaches them a lot more than we can think.
Silent treatment might work once, but not the next.
The inevitable effect will be of a nagging bitter woman, scared but at the same time has no control. Is it worth it? It’s not possible to keep up with a bitter, nagging and critical wife.
We need to take bold steps in being the sons of God by making it our priority to make peace with our husbands and in our homes
Rightness is only valid in the context of reconciliation. Our bar was set by Christ, and in as much as we can never achieve that level of perfection, we have our Helper, the HolySpirit who is predisposed to help us even in our weakest moments.
He can help us make the choice to make peace with our husbands. It’s not a card that your husband holds. You hold the peace card too! Use it.
Seek peace with him today, the Lord will deal with the rest.
VERSE OF THE DAY: Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
D.I.Y: Make time for reconciliation today. Sit down with him, stand up, kneel down, cuddle him (Make sure it is FACE TO FACE) – whichever works for you.
If you are far apart, a text would do, use your online time with wisdom.
Say, “My love, I know that we have rubbed each other wrongly. Our misunderstanding has escalated to this, and I am sorry I allowed it on my part. It doesn’t matter who was right or wrong, I am still sorry. I hope we can turn a new page today. Please forgive me.
Please do not expect confetti to be thrown all over you for your outstanding performance. This is much bigger than us. We are pursuing a greater goal – “…peacemakers, to be called the children of God.”
God is the one who will change your husband, you are a conduit of His grace.
Go point: Be the bigger person. Put down the pride and reach out to him FIRST.
Am not so good when it comes to seeking for peace, especially peace with my husband. More so after an argument, I would rather block my husband off and wait up.
But you call me towards something that you personally did. Running towards a bride who seems to care less. Washing her and cleansing her, and making her spotless.
You are the Lord of peace, and peace is the pathway to heaven.
So today Lord Jesus, I pray for a bigger heart. Heart of reconciliation with my husband.
A heart to make peace. Honestly, I cannot do it without you, earnestly impressing it upon this human heart. I need you HolySpirit. Be my guide and strength.
Forgive me Lord for going silent on my husband. Forgive me for following up so passionately on the worldly standards, and taking the value of peace in our marriage for granted.
Today Lord, help me make peace with my husband. Give me the grace to always be the bigger person without gloating about it. You have told me in your Word, that peace is always dependent upon my choice to make it.
I need to make peace with my husband in areas that we have disagreed.
Teach me to love him even through the hard seasons of our marriage. Above all, teach me to make peace with him. In your peace, there in lies your blessings. Grace me lord today.
In Jesus name I pray.