Ladies, why do you always coddle a bad character in a man then expect a sudden heaven in marriage?
Like you tolerate every insane thing he shoves in your mouth, in the name of love?
What’s the hurry for in settling down with him just because he came crying and saying sorry?
What are you afraid of that you CHOOSE to become an enabler of his misgivings?
If you raise an issue before marriage, a big issue, and he/she responds with crying….and saying they are sorry, it’s fine.
Sorry it is, but who can’t cry!
If he cries give him tissue.
If he says his head is aching, buy him ‘Mara Moja’ kama umeme’ tablets.
If she cries, give her Toilex, anything to clear out her stuffy nose, then wait for a substantive change.
A change in character.
Saying sorry is simply that! SAYING. The sorry needs to translate into a verb. A sorry that can be seen as an action.
If you sugarcoat your issues when dating, it’s only a matter of time, the coating will soon melt away and your problems will be unmasked in marriage.
Honestly if you don’t see any change in that guy before marriage, don’t expect a pure haven in marriage.
If you don’t witness any change in that man, any change in his character before marriage, and still go ahead to commit your life to him hoping for a miraculous change, it’s akin to building your house on sand.
The wedding hype will be there, but as soon as the drums die down, and the real marriage life begins, all that you will be left with is disillusionment.
Character change says, “I know am not perfect, but am willing to learn, to grow and to be better for you.”
Character change says, “I will make mistakes even in this journey of my personal growth, but I promise not to stagnate or be proud.”
Character change says, “I will make US work.”
That is maturity.
Maturity asks, “What do I do to make it better?”
Not…” We men act like so.” “That’s me, and that’s how we do it at home!”
Aren’t you making your own bubble together, a home, a lifetime, a forever after!?..so be flexible enough to learn from each other.
A bling doesn’t change anything if CHARACTER hasn’t been witnessed first-hand.
It just makes your finger pretty!
If you know you have issues in your relationship, fix them first before committing.
I know for most ladies, all they want is a “blinged” finger, but that’s not all in marriage.
A 24 carat diamond ring, or a gold coated ring doesn’t make issues disappear. It takes two mature individuals to sit and talk.
Character has to change first.
Do I mean that you need to marry a 100% perfect person? OH NO!
We can never achieve that perfection because we are human in nature and only the Lord makes us righteous everyday through his son Jesus Christ.
….but…those issues that are sore in your relationship need a fix-up before saying I DO.
I insist on a character change first.
He will need to change because first, he loves the Lord and secondly, he also LOVES YOU – enough to make a personal commitment to HIMSELF to be better everyday, for you.
No amount of coercion, screaming or throwing tantrums can make a man change.
It’s an intrinsic decision.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your path!
Marry a man that is willing to be pummeled by the Lord, mature in body, mind and heart.
Marry a man who understands commitment, and who is willing to learn and grow.
Marry a man who is not superficial, the so called “men-boys”, who are only attracted by a woman’s look.
Marry a man who is deep, who means what he says, and acts on it too!
Marry a man who sees the great you. A man who can push your dreams and challenge you to be better! Not a man threatened by your dreams, vision and aspiration.
Marry a man who is not ashamed to show you off to the world because he knows he is blessed.
Marry a spiritually sound man, who knows the importance of prayer and his priestly role in his family.
Marry a man who loves you unto death just as Christ Loves the church.
Marry a man with character.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.