DAY 19: THAT HE WILL HAVE JOY IN OUR SEXUAL INTIMACY
Song of Solomon 1:2-4
May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine. The aroma of your oils is fragrant and pleasing; Your name is perfume poured out; Therefore the maidens love you. Draw me away with you and let us run together! Let the king bring me into his chambers.
For your information, this was not pulled from one of those sexually charged novels. No.
These infallible words are straight from the mouth of the Lord.
2nd Timothy 3:16-17 reminds us, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Lest we forget.
I believe with every fibre of my being that “every good work” the Lord wants us equipped in, is our sexual intimacy in marriage.
See we live in a generation that uses sex to sell everything, or get anything, no wonder most of us live disgruntled lives with no idea of how “being known” feels like.
The problem is not that our culture focuses on sex too much but that it values sex too little.
Just because sex is being misused, it doesn’t disapprove it’s proper use.
So many people do not know the joys and the harmonious melodies that sexual intimacy brings in a marriage. Marriage is the safest place to enjoy this gift, and not just the safest but honourable_Hebrews 13:4.
This very Scripture shows us that sex is not an evil that marriage permits but a gift that marriage protects.
God created every good and perfect gift_James 1:17, and sex is meant to be good.
However, that said, we have been witnesses, both up close and far off, of a marriage[s] that tunes out of spectrum, goes off tune and the two love birds who couldn’t wait to have off each other in their chambers, now walk limped “dead.”
Especially the women.
We use sex to manipulate our husbands. We only “do it” as a task to check off, a chore, a house chore to say the least.
We never make love, maybe once in a blue moon. We use it to “reward” our husbands. Our bodies could be present, but our minds are totally shut down from the whole experience.
Soon it looses it’s lustre and the joy it’s meant to bring in our marriages.
The Bible records over 200 times where the verb “rejoice” has been used.
Joy is a fruit of having a right relation with God. It is not effort based.
The Bible makes a clear distinction between JOY and PLEASURE. The Greek word for pleasure is the word from which we get the word HEDONISM. The self-centered pleasure-seeking.
Joy in the Lord enables one to enjoy all that God has given. You can rejoice in one’s own wife_Proverbs 5:18, rejoice in having a meal_1st Timothy 4:4-5, rejoice in celebrations_Deuteronomy 16:13-15 and rejoice in having fellowship_Philippians 4:1.
So God created SEX in marriage as a place where a husband and a wife can rejoice in each other. God is not a prude.
A husband should REJOICE with the wife of his youth_ Proverbs 5:18. He should be creative enough to engage his wife’s senses. That’s what God desires!
Wives, we not only need to pray that our husbands will REJOICE in us, but put in our best efforts too in getting them into this type of obedience.
Our sexual intimacy should be characterized by rejoicing! Tastefully engaging all the senses that God gave us, not just being mechanical about it.
I know you have been taking care of the kids the whole day. I understand that fatigue checks in too quickly in the evening. I understand that you are not feeling it. However, we need to remember that God always looks for a willing and available vessel to use. He provides the fire. Sexual fire is part of HIS FIRE!
So instead of concentrating on your body, grumbling about your chores, why don’t you turn up and say, “Lord, you have told me that I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me, give me the strength to rejoice in my husband too!”
Trust me, I have seen how His power reinvigorates this tired back and the aching muscles.
My husband rejoicing in me means that I am rejoicing too in him. Both of us, making love to each other with a mind of giving not taking. A focus on selfless giving, not self gratification.
When SEX focuses on SELFLESSNESS it brings JOY. When SEX focuses of SELF GRATIFICATION, it’s simply for PLEASURE.
Pleasure can never equate to the joy of sexual intimacy.
The exchange gives a sweet aroma to God since it’s essentially worship to Him.
We need to pray that we will be wives whom our husbands rejoice in. That they will find a home in us and a resting place for their tired souls, and stretched bodies.
That our love making will be intentional, submissive, holy, purposeful and unselfish.
That our sexual intimacy will not be a matter of uniting our bodies, but our hearts too in a bond that is as strong as death, that only the Omnipotent can break.
That our sexual intimacy will be characterized by a loving abandon that is so necessary for sexual ecstasy that only God can give two unselfish souls.
That we will rejoice in our husbands and they in us, not out of drudgery, but in love.
Heavenly Father in Jesus name, I thank you for your grace today. I thank you for giving us the gift of sexual intimacy in our marriage. It is a good gift, perfect from you our Father of lights
Today Lord I pray that we will rejoice in each other. That our sexual intimacy will ooze a sweet aroma to you as we rejoice in each other.
I refuse every spirit of selfishness. I refuse anything that could hinder our uninhibited joy in our intimacy. I refuse all powers of darkness that come in form of strange women, or infidelity.
Father you have commanded my husband to rejoice in me. He will in Jesus name. He shall have his joy in me and our union in Jesus name. He shall be faithful to us in Jesus name.
Help me be the suitable ‘ezer’ you have called me to be for my husband. Help me in my weaknesses and frailties. Help me consider my husband’s needs too as he considers mine.
Help my husband be creative in ways only you can teach him.
I pray that our sexual intimacy will be punctuated by unbridled,uninhibited, joyous immersion in passionate acts of what you concentrated as sacred from the day you laid the Earth’s foundation.
In Jesus name I pray, Amen