The sun scorched my face as I waited for that lesson! How could the lecturer decide to have a lesson past 4pm? What a bore!
I could have been nonchalantly seated on my bunk bed, staring at the horizon through my window, building castles in the air, or probably taken an afternoon siesta.
I was still hazy and groggy right until my eye caught a fine looking man walking towards my direction. Good Lord! It was the fine brother in Christ. Johnny! I literally felt my heart leaping! I smiled, he smiled, we smiled.
I actually snorted again! My love-struck hormones!
“Hey! What are you doing here?” Eager fine lines splashed across his brow.
“Am good, just waiting on for a lesson.” I said.
“Can keep you company, let me have a seat.” He took a seat on the hot tarmac.
“Why are you coming from this side?” I was curious to know where he was coming from.
“Just from there.” He pointed the church. “I didn’t have lessons in the afternoon, so I opted to spend sometime there.”
Well, that was not the answer I was looking for, or anticipating. I thought he too stares through the window like me when he’s not having any afternoon classes. . . building castles. . . building more castles.
His character, that character of Christ, revelled up my engines. I could feel my palms getting all sweaty and my cheeks getting rosy, red hot. My heart thumped.
I was captivated by his character. Enchanted by his unshakable faith in Christ. Unfrazzeled by the pressures of life. He was clearly a man with a prodigious vision. His oil was flowing steadily, and this man, needed a jar deep enough to hold that annointing over his life.
That simple conversation we had, sitted on the hot tarmac road, changed my whole perception about being a wife. Actually he redefined the name “spouse” to me.
See, you could be attracted to a certain man, or woman, but if you aren’t a jar deep enough to hold their annointing or haven’t invested in plumbing your wells deep enough, you will waste the annointing over your spouse’s life.
You will be jealous of them or probably be indifferent to what God is calling them to do. You will turn out cynical, co-depedent and needy, instead of being who God calls you to be in their life. In other words, what they need.
Character is everything. Character is in God’s persona. He’s faithful, just, kind, honest, loving, and His Character is vividly showcased in His attributes. Character sustains the annointing over our lives, and character grounds a marriage too.
A relationship without having the two invested parties grounded in character, is akin to building a house on sand. It may hold out for a little while, just until a spark is lit and the foundation is shaken. The fall will be meteoric.
Song of Solomon 1:3 says, The aroma of your oils is fragrant and pleasing; Your name is perfume poured out; Therefore the maidens love you.
The Shunammite woman compares her beloved’s name to a perfume that’s poured out. A perfume that’s poured out spreads it’s scent far and wide. You cannot fail to catch it’s whiff. If a good name then is comparable to the perfume, that tells us so much about character.
Character is the moral fibre of a person. It is what you carry, and what you believe in. It’s the tapestry that meshes into your personality. Character, in turn, influences our choices. The integrity of the upright guides them (Proverbs 11:3a). Character will help us weather the storms of life and keep us from sin (Proverbs 10:9a).
Character is the domain that lets two people with different personalities commingle, since they both allude to a set of higher ordinances, and principles that govern their actions.
Character is alluring. Beauty is fleeting, charm is conceited, the self is haughty, gains are all but vain, but character holds the fort.
When the face is drooped, the tummy has sagged, the waistline is as thick as a mound of wheat, when the cellulite fills out on the thighs, and the stretch marks mark their territory around your arms, character will still attract you to each other.
Character will spread out it’s perfume over your marriage bed and still keep it blazing up and glistening because character is a charm.
Character isn’t scored first outside your home. You can beguile the world, your colleagues, your friends, but your spouse has unerring testimony regarding your character.
Character is about service. The little things you do for each other without necessarily being reminded.
It’s in massaging your tired spouse, it’s in not passing down a request or belittling it. It’s in taking the shift on from your wife, to look after the babies at night while she rests. It’s in how you talk to your husband when he tells you that he’s lost some money in a business deal gone sour.
It’s in the tone of your voice when you are both in a heated argument. It’s in letting your spouse win, to win in your marriage. It’s in outdoing each other in acts of service and kindness.
It’s in not letting your anger fester on for hours since it will definitely erode your martial hedge and slither it’s way to your marriage bed – because anger is a cyanide to your intimacy.
It’s in how you handle each other in your marriage bed. Consider this, are you a servant lover, or a lord over your spouse? A little god perhaps whose needs come before your spouse?
Character is what will cause to be altruistic, submitted, forgiving, gracious, loving, tender, kind, and vulnerable to each other.
Character, will then give forth a fruit of love that is efficacious, a kind of respect that is powerful, the sort of love that bestows loveliness and kind of respect that bestows respectability to each other. The kind of love that breaks boulders.
It’s then pivotal, that in singleness, character should draw you more than anything else, however don’t ignore your attraction too.
Look for that person whose character is untainted and doesn’t leave you second guessing on whether or not they are pursuing you. Not the type of character that needs a vuvuzela to announce to all and sundry about who they are. Not the type of character that needs to seek approval and validation from people.
It’s the type of character that it’s waters run deep, spreads it’s tendrils over the high walls, it’s root system runs deep, it’s branches are well extended and drawn out, it’s bark, thick enough to withstand any pressure from within and without, and at the same time oozes a sap so sweet and an aroma too alluring to ignore. . . like the perfume poured out. . .