The day is drawing nigh. Momentarily, the town gets a red hue.
Red bouquets, yellow bouquets, love notes deliveries, serenades echoing through the noisy city, lovers fiddling each other’s hands across tables whispering those words that blooms a withered rose flower. It’s the day to celebrate love.
We love to be loved. Truthfully speaking, it’s inherently wired into our DNA. Its God’s essence in us, because God’s essence is love. However, we are also a culture too dysfunctional in it’s approach towards the same matter.
Proverbs 14:29 says, He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.
In haste, we miss the way of wisdom. We invest too much, too soon without first gaining clarity. Most awaken this desires without a clear and precise direction, a clear cut vision, and an unambiguous set of boundaries.
We thrive in baiting each other with half-truths, enough to pique each others interests but lacks the thrust to dig in deep, a root a relationship past the flings and the fires of a young love.
In the words breathed out by the Lord, “I charge you then, do not awaken love until it so desires.”
Just like the Shunammite’s woman words to her friends, I charge you, do not pull back the veil until it’s time. Do not drop your guards down, do not compromise, do not sell yourself short, do not undervalue yourself.
Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; 8:4, Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
She calls them out in caution, and so does the Lord call us in caution, “Do not stir up passion when you are not in the confines of the best, right, Godly boundaries. God isn’t a spoilsport, he’s simply bringing to our attention the seriousness of this commitment, it’s beauties and consequently, it’s power.
This repetition is not because there are reservations about the goodness of SEX in its proper place, within marriage. She’s simply echoing what is the heart of our Creator. It’s praising this awe-inspiring union of one man and one woman, joined into one flesh, but also sending out a caution to those who do awaken their desires without a proper foundation.
Even in our walk of faith, we operate within boundaries, as we run the race faithfully and cheerfully. Love cannot be love without boundaries. Love cannot thrive in a fuzzy environment.
See boundaries are crucial in a relationship. Be it with your friends, family, colleagues. Boundaries help you keep a healthy perspective of yourself and whatever you have at hand.
That’s why a relationship that ought to lead to marriage, should have boundaries. It trains our hearts to grow the virtue of obedience, because obedience knows no seasons or stages.
Any river restrained by a boulder or a strong wall creates depth. Without depth, that river cannot generate enough geothermal power for electricity, but with boundaries, that power can light up a whole city.
Solomon, the wisest man ever, said, that you can’t build a fire in your lap and not burn your pants. Proverbs 6:27
You will definitely get yourself burnt too. Without boundaries, sexual fires will scar, worse, burn everything down.
In Proverbs 7:8-23, there was a young man whom the Bible records that he lacked understanding and sound judgment. His boundaries were ill-defined, and his boundary walls were wobbly and frail. He built his character on bog. At first, he “strolled” near a seductive woman’s home; then he “smooched” her, only to finally break the walls and “slept” with her.
Can you see the progressive effect of being a person who has no boundaries, or one courting double mindedness? Can you see how breaking your boundaries creates a domino effect to your progress?
So how far is too far? Here’s the thing, the thought, is already stretched far enough. Stop at it. You can take captive of that thought, and subject it to the Word, the absolute truth, the obedience of Christ. [2nd Corinthians 10:5],
Eros feeds on Eros. The moment you awaken sexual love, then you will have to contend with it’s ferocious appetite. Unfortunately, it leaves most of us crushed, and the souls patched, with an aching void.
The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4, that, Marriage is to be held in honor among all [that is, regarded as something of great value], and the marriage bed undefiled [by immorality or by any sexual sin]; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
This is what the Shunammite woman was saying.
It’s not a bad thing to be physical desirous. I would be very concerned if I didn’t find my husband alluring and sexually attracted to him.
The issue here isn’t about those desires, the issue is what will you do with those desires.
The problem is this, those physical desires can derail your destiny, if you let them. The question that begs then is, will you muster those desires or will they have you? Will you build the depth of your intimacy by practicing self control or will you break the boundaries and indulge?
Fanning the fire out of it’s scope will throw off sparks, enough to set out a raging fire!
If you don’t understand your calling, you’ll undervalue it. If you do not understand the mystery of marriage as Paul termed it, you will cheapen that union.
If you do not lift your gaze upwards to the Creator of this sexual gift, you will sell it out for your worth, worse, a couple of pennies worth.
If you do not understand the power you have when you create depth for your marriage bed by restraint, you will trade it off for less, much less, settling kind of less.
Jude 1:24 says, Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling or falling into sin, and to present you unblemished [blameless and faultless] in the presence of His glory with triumphant joy and unspeakable delight.
Marriage does need work, and most certainly a healthy marriage always has a thriving marriage bed, but the foundation needs to be storm proof and fire proof.
God isn’t keeping you away from having SEX, he’s keeping you from having to walk with the weight of the world on your shoulders, jarred by the lusts of the flesh.
He’s keeping you for a great thing, a good thing, a God thing. A marriage bed that sings out in gladness, filled with the sweet aroma of an unadulterated worship. Graced by love, adorned by sacrifice.
God didn’t intend for us to have multiple soul ties. That’s why he warns us against fornication. He desires a godly offspring. Malachi 2:15.
A godly fruit can only be born a godly tree.
Build your depth by putting strong boundaries in whichever season you are in. Flee the youthful lusts, and do not walk on the path of the strange woman. Her path leads to death.