Between the first picture and the second is a whole meaty 11 years.
In those years, we have fought almost to a point of divorce. Had 4 miscarriages. Two beautiful children. God laid on us a ministry we champion together. Been blogging for 6 years. Authored a book together. Ministered in tons of places and to people we never expected. Doors have opened, others have shut. We have maintained close friendships, and have outgrown others.
Basically this are just but a few things that we have accomplished together for God’s glory.
If you told me we would have pulled through those rough waters of our marriage, I would have called it bluff.
If you told me that we would be raising a preschooler and a toddler by now, I would have had to call in a psychiatrist for you. Maybe log in an insanity call.
If you would have told me that we would be running a the ministry together, I would have told you to check again with God. Never in a million years would I think that God would choose this jars of clay_us? Faulty, flawed, yet. . .He still is making through us beautiful tapestry for His Kingdom.
If you told me my husband would be remembering to remove labels on suits before wearing them, wear floral shirts, and smile at the camera, I would have goggled right back at you. Emoji. . 👀
Exodus 17:9 : And Moses said to Joshua, “Choose us some men and go out, fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in my hand.”
The word here is fight. Fight for your destiny. Fight for your blessings. Wrestle to win.
You have to fight for each other. You have to wrestle against anything adversarial towards your union.
If you do not fight, the devil is ready to bag in your destiny and block the call over your life together.
He’s not playing putt putt with you.
I know marriage is tough. Take two sinners, lock the door, and hope they don’t kill each other. That’s what it is in short.
Look at the statistics today. They are alarming. 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages, and 73% of third marriages fail. Let that sink in. It seems that we’re almost doomed.
Most of us who are reading this have experienced divorce in some way, whether in our own lives, our parents, or our grandparents. Sometimes it’s obvious and we see it coming, and other times, it smacks us right in the face—something we never could’ve imagined would happen. Right?
Here’s what you need to know: Whatever God begins, Satan opposes.
The beautiful work of turning two beings into one will be marked by opposition. Opposition from the devil, opposition from the world, and definitely, opposition from the self, our flesh.
I believe God wanted me to tell you this: Your marriage is under attack, so you need to roll up your sleeves, get in the ring, and fight. Trust me, the devil isn’t sipping espresso, while you are trying to live out God’s will.
You need to be willing to fight for what God is trying to build in you and through you.
The devil doesn’t want you to experience the power, pleasure and blessing you’ll receive from your marriage. He wants to divide, so he can conquer. He doesn’t want there to be generations of your legacy.
He doesn’t want your grandchildren to be blessed by your example and faithfulness. He seeks to kill and destroy, and he will start with your marriage.
He knows a godly marriage, means a godly and an anchored church. A rooted church is growing church. A growing church is a threat to his short lived mission.
Here’s the thing, i think one of the problems in lots of marriages is that there’s too much hot blood. Too much, “I felt it, so I said it.” I know am not innocent.
We allow our emotions to be directly connected to our actions and words.
But is there hope? Yes!
Pre-meditate success in your marriage and fight like a savage against anything that would stand in the way of the marriage that God is seeking to build.
Choose a winning attitude from the onset.
Say, “We do, and now, We Will!”
You do not have to get divorced like your parents or grandparents did. . . and even if it happens, you don’t need to be stuck there. Choose a winning attitude. The Lord is more than able to restore and walk one out of a foggy valley.
Your children do not have to be raised in the dysfunctional home that you were raised in.
You do not have to dishonor and disrespect women just like your father did.
You do not have to give your body away to man after man like your friends do.
A new thing can begin right now. God speaks a better word of you, and the name of Jesus can tear down any wall, but you have to fight! You have to decide to sever every cord of sin and lay down every weight that could derail your pace towards victory.
What is involved in choosing a winning attitude?
First, we must acknowledge our negative thinking. Most of us tend to rationalize and excuse our negative attitudes. We say, “How do you expect me to react when they treat me like that?”
As long as we rationalize our negative attitudes as legitimate, they will never change. Acknowledge your negative thinking.Then, identify and list your spouse’s positive traits. We all have something good. We do.
Teach yourself to focus on your spouse’s positive traits. However hard, begin. It has to be learnt. It doesn’t come upon you like the fiery tongues.
You have to train your heart to walk in the cathedral of faith!
Ask God to give you a biblical perspective of your spouse. Perspective is everything. Then, express your appreciation verbally to your spouse.
“But what about my spouse’s negative behavior?
My attitude is not going to change that.”
Maybe not right away, but a positive attitude on your part will set in motion relational dynamics that create an atmosphere in which your spouse’s behavior can change for the better.
I call it transformative grace. Slow, sometimes very slow, but absolute.
Simply stated, a positive attitude expressed in positive affirmations tends to create apositive response. The ice of winter begins to melt and the hope of spring isborn.
Choose a winning attitude and you are more likely you are to win.
Tell yourself that you can be a better spouse and you will become one.
Tell yourself that your spouse can make positive changes and he or she will.
Tell yourself that, with God’s help, you will see spring again and you are far more likely to see it.
Wrestle for your destiny. Wrestle to win.