DAY 5: BE PATIENT WITH HIM
Are always edgy easily tipped off, picking up little comments and extrapolating them in your interaction with your spouse? Do you feel impatient to hear the viewpoint of your spouse and end up being snarky?
Do you pace up and down in frustrated anger when there is delay? Do you ruin a good day, even a date day in your marriage through your impatience? Does your hectic lifestyle make snappy impatience towards your spouse?
The very word can cause us to roll our eyes, especially if we are waiting for our husbands to get their “stuff” together. Patience is hard because waiting is hard.
I know we all want our husbands to be well put, grounded, focused, achieved, well stocked for the future emotionally, financially and physically et cetera and it’s all good! Your dreams are totally valid and on point and the biggest take home would be, “there is nothing to hard for the Lord!”
But you will never find anyone attaining that level of perfection. You are work in – process, I prefer that! Our husbands, are work in process! We are practitioners especially in matters family and marriage and no one is a 100 percent there. Waiting can be painful and difficult —especially when it comes to our need for change in our marriages. But God says that waiting is good. That’s because it produces patience in us.
Love is patient. The Lord knows that our selves call towards haste, and in haste there is much folly and we ruin our lives, then blame the Lord [Proverbs 19:2] – so He teaches us patience through our spouses.
You might find that your husband is great with the kids, but never follows through a project till the end. He might be a great planner, but poor at executing. He might be great at cooking, but never clears the table. He might be such a romantic guy but never picks his socks, steps on the carpet with the sandals, throws his toothpicks around, and this is not a cliché!
Please, put a muzzle around your mouth! Pull the reins and get off the heels! Be patient with his growth!
Paul makes it clear in 1st Timothy 6:11 that not only are we supposed to desire patience, we’re to pursue it. Pursuing patience makes me cringe, but God does hold me accountable.
As long as he is fluid, cheer him on, be patient with him. Remember what we said about voicing our appreciation out loud? Appreciate his strengths and cheer him on towards greater adjustments. You cannot afford to call him immature just because his socks are lying around. You need wisdom! You need to cut down that pride because trust me girl, you too are very wanting! You have glaring gaps too!
We need to ask the Lord to give us the patience of molding our marriages and our husbands. He is not figured it all out, and so haven’t you. As long as he is flux, showing gradual change, little by little, inch by inch, pace by pace, bit by bit, step by step, cheer his snail’s pace on.
Cheer him when he’s cleared the tooth picks and left the utensils on the dining table. Cheer him on when he’s completed one project and 10 are pending. Cheer him on when he’s doing good even in one thing!
He will get there! Be patient with him!
Galatians 5:22 says that patience is a of the Spirit. In other words, patience is a byproduct of God’s work within us.
Secondly, its not just ABOUT waiting, but also HOW we wait in marriage that’s most important.
Do we wait with a good attitude? Are you that condescending wife who rolls her eyes at her husband, belittling him just because he is not “at par” with you?
How do you treat him when he has fallen short of your excellence?
How do you treat in front of your children even if his provision has not been forthcoming in the way that you expect?
You have to banish contempt. Contempt is an acid, and it etches ugliness into love.
To banish contempt means that when your husband has given in to his least attractive tendencies, his most fearful, or fearsome, when he has lost his focus, his patience, or his heart, this is the moment when you must exercise the x-ray vision. This is the moment when you must see through the annoying, demanding, complaining, failing, faltering wreck in front of you—and find the strong, kind, fascinating, functional person you know your spouse wants to be.
Am doing that every day! Let’s keep it going!
D.I.Y: Tell him that you appreciate his growth in a, b, c, d…areas. Tell him that he has make great progress and you are indeed proud of him. If you can talk in person over a cup of coffee, lunch, dinner, or a cozy night together when the kids are asleep, that would make whole impression on him! Make sure you name the areas of growth.
Go point: Cheer him on. Be jovial.
VERSE OF THE DAY: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Love is patient…
I admit that am never patient with my husband. In almost everything. I really want him to get his acts together and move when I say move. How selfish of me. I hardly notice his pace Lord. I hardly notice your pace in his life. Forgive me Lord. I would rather he moves at a lightning speed – I know you are able to make him so – but I do realize it will be my undoing. His pace is my process of sanctification. His pace through you, teaches me patience and in patience, you build my character, and in character you build a hope. A hope on which I should anchor myself on. A hope in you Jesus. A hope that doesn’t falter with the tides of life.
So Lord, give me a heart like yours. A heart of patience. A heart of gladly bearing it all, bearing pains or trials without complaints, a heart that manifests forbearance, a heart that is not impetuous , as I want is you.
In Jesus name I pray.