Matthew 23:11

The greatest among you must be a servant.

This Words from our Lord Jesus Christ have never been truer in marriage. Most of us, if we could be honest enough, got married starry eyed. We got married with a notion of getting.

Now, don’t misconstrue me. Marriage must have reciprocity between the spouses, otherwise, it risks turning out sore. There must be GIVING, and RECEIVING. Note that I have explicitly said, RECEIVING not TAKING. Because by all means, taking is skewed more towards begin negative, and selfish.

Marriage, on the contrary is a place of giving and receiving. If that happens, when the SELF is crucified everyday, marriage can be a fortaste of heaven.

A breath-taking living poster of the life to come.

When God made Adam, he fashioned him to give, and Eve was to respond to Adam. God designed us as wives to profoundly respond to our husbands ability to be Christ-like in loving, serving, and supporting us. When a husband struggles in being Christ-like towards his wife, her response will reflect such.

On the other hand, when a husband begins getting it right, unless she’s a conniving, manipulative, Jezebel spirit filled wife, she will reflect that pureness from her husband in significant, often striking ways.

She begins to glow in the loveliness that echos through her husband from the Lord Jesus. See that paradigm shift?

A husband doesn’t need to shout or to be a growler to be heard. He doesn’t need to assert himself to be recognized as the head of the family. He doesn’t need to be rough with his wife or vex his children to stamp his authority. He simply needs to be a servant leader in everything. His husbandry should be modelled at home first.

Just a side note, our husbands have been called to be the heads. God’s WORD sits squarely over the social relativism that seems to parade itself more and more each day. God doesn’t demean women.

He doesn’t degrade us, He doesn’t see us as flawed. We need to know our place in marriage. There is no recall or referendum to God’s Word. Your general counsel can’t change it. It is because God is the absolute.

Jesus Christ set the pattern of manhood. Your husband has NOT been called to be Jesus, but BE LIKE Him. In other words, your husband should imitate Him. He’s the Lion of the Tribe of Judah [Revelation 5:5], and the Lamb of God was slain, straight up to Calvary [Revelation 5:12].

Jesus Christ is a leader and not the synthetic type.

See, a synthetic leadership, offered by a phony leader is overly concerned with his title, position, and perks.

At home, such a husband thinks that violence, or fear will cement down his authority as unrivalled. But those things don’t make one a leader. One is only a leader if he leads.

Jesus Christ led by example when He had compassion on the sick, the poor and even now, He still is so compassionate to us._Psalm 116:5

He was HELPFUL when he saw the toil Peter, James and James had at the shore of Galilee. By His Word, they caught shoals fish enough to fill their boats and break their nets._Luke 5.

He displayed His latent strength in HUMILITY but washing His disciples feet. He wasn’t dettered by the unsightly calluses, dirty, smelly, flaky, corned feet of his disciples. You can be sure they were since most of them were not high ranking in the social ladder._ John 13:1-7.

At the cross, when his body was disfigured, bloody, frail and wounded, His might came alive as the SAVIOR OF THE WORLD. Even the centurion bore witness that He was the Son of God _ Matthew 27:54

He took the INITIATIVE, and SACRIFICED by laying down His life in His own accord. _John 10:18.

That is the kind of responsibility that your husband bears in marriage. It’s a place of servant leadership. You need to pray for your husband to recognize that immense responsibility he has.

It’s not a reward for being a male. It’s a responsibility to bear it ALL for the family.

That he will look unto Jesus the author and perfector of His faith to teach him how to lead in humility.

Pray that he will not listen to the voice of the stranger that tries to redefine his leadership at home _ John 10:5. The voices that call him towards emotional abuse, domestic violence, and infidelity.

Pray that he will have the kind of leadership that you can affirm and honor.

Genuine leaders lead out of the power of their lives. Your husband’s mantle should be , “Follow me as I follow Christ.” That’s it.

His leadership style should be shaped and driven by God’s Word and Spirit. Since your husband is the very dwelling-place of the Lord God, his reflection of Him should be manifested in every way he leads you as his wife and your children.

So this is the day, God needs you and I to declare war on any self-sabotaging tendencies towards his godly leadership in your home.

Anything that could side step him from the purposes of God of leading the family as Jesus.


Heavenly Father, I once again approach your throne of mercy and grace.

Thank you for fashioning my husband with the ability to lead us. I pray that you will grant him that ability to do it as Christ does.

In his sinful nature, he cannot bear the gospel unadulterated. His self-will will take center stage and suffocate every good thing that you are working in him.

So Lord I pray for your divine enablement. May he listen to you. May his heart be drawn to you. May you be the man he wants to imitate.

May you be his divine counsel. May you redefine his leadership especially at home. May he lead us in love, in grace and in service. May he cheerfully give himself to me and our children.

Lord you are able. Even in my goodness towards him, I run on a limited version. I cannot inspire any lasting change in him. ONLY you can change his heart. Only you can mold his character and only you can cause him to be like you.

I surrender him to you Lord.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen




We are John and Mary Munene and we love the Lord! Christ is our all in all! All we are is by God’s grace. Apart from having our individual careers, we are ardent bloggers, authors and misters of God's word. We have been blessed with two amazing children. A beautiful daughter and a handsome son. We love adventure, anything with lots of adrenaline is always a ‘go-thing’ for us! A cup of coffee next to a fireplace and a good book always does good to our souls! Hope you enjoy this blog!

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We are John and Mary Munene and we…