30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE; DAY 2 – LISTEN TO HIM.
DAY 2: LISTEN TO HIM
If you are as outspoken or forthright as I am, you know too well that it’s easy to dominate a conversation.
Wives, we know too well that we love to speak our minds out, and can get so oblivious our husbands. We make our points known and we hold onto our convictions with a tight brace. Well, it’s good, personalities are God given, but if we have no control of what we say, or how we talk, especially in our homes, and to our husbands, then cracks begin to appear.
When my husband asks, “How are you?”, trust me, he is up for a whole sermon. Well, I think he is used to by now – but I have had to make some serious adjustments on myself too.
As we talk and release our stresses onto our husbands, chances are that we forget that they need to be listened to.
Worse, is when we have a conflicting opinion(s).
Most of us, rarely listen to our husbands to understand their point of view. We want to be understood, but we do not incline ourselves to the same thought when it comes to them.
It’s not wrong to talk, but there is danger in drowning your spouse by your demands, rather than being attentive.
That’s when we miss our husbands. Probably his body just says, “hold me, am tired”, and all you want is to be heard. I know you want him to listen to how your day was, but marriage calls for self-sacrifice too, most times.
There will be times, just as the Bible says, when your interests take the back stage, and you attend to your husband’s needs first.
The Bible says in Philippians 2:4, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
Today, let’s listen to our husbands. Not just their verbal communication, but their voice variations and more so, their unspoken words. Their silent words, their body language. You will not say that “my husband doesn’t open up”, because, you will have tuned yourself to him.
They talk – but we never listen.
As he walks through the door, watch his moves, his body language, listen to his voice tone and variations, you will know what he is communicating.
Offer a word of welcome before he sits down. A peck on the cheek would do him some good.
Let’s listen in today, and may this mark the beginning of a steady growth towards listening.
Switch off the TV, put your phone down, put the kids to bed early, the house chores can wait for 30 minutes, put down the tablet. Face him and listen. Listen to understand.
VERSE OF THE DAY: James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
D.I.Y: When he gets home, welcome him warmly. Let him breathe and decompress. Ask him if he will need anything to drink first. Let him de-clutter his mind. Then sit down next to him. Not shouting across the kitchen, or from your toilet seat.
Ask him how his day has been. Listen to his heart too. He might not answer as you expect, but keep being attentive, keep nodding to let him know that you are listening to him. Prodding him might not work, but A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold on a silver coaster.
Go point: Be attentive, to his voice, tone variations and body language.
Am here again at your throne. This time Lord, I need you to teach me how to listen. Your Word says that the sheep listen to your voice and they follow you – for you are the Good Shepherd. I am listening to you Lord.
I am quick to talk, sometimes, quicker to get angry when my husband doesn’t buy in my ideas, but am super slow in listening to his heart. Help me Lord. Fill my gaps Lord.
Teach me to listen to my husband too. Teach me to read beyond what he simply articulates with his mouth.
Teach me to know what he silently yearns for by observing his mannerisms and acts.
Teach me to listen to his needs and attend to them accordingly. I cannot do it by my own strength. I need you Lord to walk with me. I need you Lord to fill me with wisdom.
You the Lord who fashioned him as a man, and gave him to me as gift through marriage, give me the wisdom to listen to his spoken and unspoken needs of a man and as a husband.
In Jesus name I pray.