D.I.Y: Write down a list of things that you know your husband loves doing or is good at. Praise him for doing them. Challenge him to be the best at them.
Go point: Do not belittle his efforts. Talk in matter that encourages already what he has been doing.
My husband has talked time and time again on his family background. He was raised by a single mother who was and is still so strong in her Christian values.
She instilled godliness in them. She is the perfect example of a woman who stood and still stands with Christ amidst not good circumstances and brought up her children in Christ!
I love her. My mother-in-love.
Then he met me, one who was brought up in a closely knit family, with a father and mother. Despite our love for each other, our different family backgrounds played a big role in how we both viewed and still view things.
Dad was always a “go-getter.” Mom did not even know how tokens are put! True story – until dad passed on. It’s like she had to re-learn everything again.
Not that she didn’t want to know, it’s only that dad was always on the move, making sure we are whole both physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. He was a master class graduate in discipline.
We knew that our home had a father and order had to be maintained. Mom, was his faithful companion. They were a team. We couldn’t divide them! At one point in my teenage years, I was so unruly that dad told me that he didn’t marry me, he married my mother and I will respect her as long as am under his roof.
That hurt, it really stung, but it brought my waywardness back on track. Dad meant business.
My husband on the other hand, has grown up seen his Mom go all out for them. She was the provider, the disciplinarian, the prayer warrior, all in one.
One day, a few months into marriage, our window pane fell down and as usual, I expected Johnny to sprint out, get a pane and fix it ASAP. He didn’t. He instead got an old brown smelly newspaper and fixed it as a “temporal measure.” I thought he would fix it the next day, but 3 whole days passed without saying a word about it!
I couldn’t take it anymore and I gushed out in pain. I was so frustrated by his passiveness. I had to remind him umpteenth times about certain things that needed fixing! I couldn’t take it anymore so I went and got a pane, and was ready to fix it by myself, until he saw it!
We clashed. We were like two bulls! I couldn’t take his passiveness and he couldn’t stomach my nagging. Who was wrong? Who was right? My frustrations worsened by day. I couldn’t make him the “go-getter” I knew. He was ever going to be dad and I had to accept it very first. That expectation died a painful death. I killed it!
So I asked the Lord what to and he told me to change my tact. He reminded me about Esther. I mean, the King hadn’t inquired about her for 6 months. I mean, who was he sleeping with for 6 months? Yet she held on until the Lord gave her a tact! “Throw a feast for 3 days!”
Isn’t our Lord a God of humor. Who would ever think that the King would suggest his Kingdom to be divided into half after eating in Esther’s courts for 3 days? Esther 5:3 – Then the king asked her, “What do you want, Queen Esther? What is your request? I will give it to you, even if it is half the kingdom!”
We need to ask the same God to give us tack in dealing with husbands who may seem passive. Challenge him instead of demanding of him to move in certain ways.
So I began praising him for the “most obvious” things like throwing trash away, throwing his used toothpicks, and well I adapted to some – they were petty fights, not worth my energy.
I mean, what energy would it cost me to pick up his socks, put his shoes right, clear the sink off leftovers. I re-focused my energy into challenging his strong points and clapping on.
Little by little, he inched up. He was fixing things without me saying it. He would fix the loose curtain lines, and I would clap. He would fix a leaking tap, and I would clap. He put his socks 2 meters from the laundry basket, and I would clap, he puts the dirty serviettes in the trash instead of putting them all in the sink, and I would clap.
The Lord did a remarkable transformation in him! I now have to tell him, “Hunnie, please slow down, come eat!” The journey has been worth it. But here is the catch, you have to challenge him to be better by pointing out at his strengths. Men respond so well so praise.
My challenge for you is to look for things that your husband is does so right and clap on.  Praise him when together, praise him in front of your children, praise him in front of your parents and his parents, praise him in front of his colleagues, praise him on the church pew. Then stand back and watch him transform into a knight, ready to slay any giant for you! He is running for gold gal! For you!
VERSE OF THE DAY: Proverbs 31:11-12 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will lack nothing of value. She will bring him good and not harm all the days of her life.
Lord Jesus,
You have called me to be a helper to my husband. I am the suitable helper to him therefore Lord you have equipped me with the right tools to help him get better and be the greatest man on earth.
Help me challenge him to be great at what he does. Help me be that favor factor in his life. The good thing that he got from you. Help me bring out that man from within that his potential will be full to the brim.
Help me be a source of motivation and courage to build him up. I pray for grace. I pray for tact on how to address his weaknesses. I pray for wisdom on how to talk to him. I pray that my bosom will be his comfort.
In Jesus name I pray,

We are John and Mary Munene and we love the Lord! Christ is our all in all! All we are is by God’s grace. Apart from having our individual careers, we are ardent bloggers, authors and misters of God's word. We have been blessed with two amazing children. A beautiful daughter and a handsome son. We love adventure, anything with lots of adrenaline is always a ‘go-thing’ for us! A cup of coffee next to a fireplace and a good book always does good to our souls! Hope you enjoy this blog!


  • Fran

    I’m new married a truly appreciate reading this. I laughed at the statement on killing expectations! Something I’m yet to learn. I’ve just seen this 30 day challenge, I’ll definitely give it a try. Keep sharing!

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We are John and Mary Munene and we…