30 days of gratitude: Day 3- Turn and Bend with him.


Our first year, well. Oh we did prepare for marriage, but it wasn’t as we expected. The temptation of a dissatisfied wishfulness of opting out seemed to be crawling on me subtly.
Quitting seemed easier than doing the work of building. We had numerous turns and twists and one of the many, was a serious financial crisis. I will make the story short.

I say we, because the Lord taught me about bending and turning when my husband faces a bend in his life. His yoke is mine.That is marriage.
I remember being so bitter against my husband for not listening to me regarding a particular project that costed us an arm and a leg.
Probably I was right (I suppose I was) but my way of conveying my disappointments left a bitter taste to an already sour mouth. It was not easy for either of us, admitting our liabilities and poor choices that lead us to our stone faced crisis.

We were between a hard place and a rock.
One particular rant day, I locked myself in the bathroom and cried my eyes out. In the middle of the little sore murmurs, I  clearly heard the Lord telling me to bend and salvage the situation.I battled the burden, but the Lord kept pressing it on me. “How Lord?” He was the one on the wrong – not me!
Like a thorn in the flesh, the pulse was real.

The Lord told me I was foolish not to bend. I was wrong from the word go! “Lord how?” The voice was too persistent, in saying “bend.”So I bent. I bent down. I cast down my pride and ego, and held my husband’s hand once more. It was hard. This financial crisis was ours to tackle. Not him alone, but together.

You see dear wives, the Lord doesn’t always call us to what is easy. He calls us to what is right. What keeps us from reconciling with our husbands is not anything else but pride.

Pride is what will make you wait for him to apologize rather than reach out to him.

Pride is what will make you “keep your stashed cash” just in case he messes you up again.

Pride is what makes us point at their weaknesses thinking that it  churn them towards change.

Pride is what makes us think that we are perfect and they have some “growing up” to do.

Pride is what will keep his failures on your scoreboard rather than forgive and move on swiftly.

Pride is what makes us not bend or turn with them.
That same pride is what creates emotional walls between us and our husbands because we are never a source of comfort to their wounded souls or egos.We dig in our heels and seat high on our pedestals, after all, they are the messed up ones, they have some growing up to do, some polishing up to do, some tiding up to do, right?

Judges 13 talks about a couple who were going through a turn in their life. Am sure Manoah was going through a turn with his wife’s childlessness and infertility. Am sure it wasn’t easy for them. Am sure he was jeered by his friends, probably telling him that he wasn’t man enough.
Manoah’s wife received the Lord’s message that she will bear a son and he will be a Nazarite. Manoah, not so discerning, was more afraid of their death on realizing that they were speaking to God, that he missed the message.He expressed his concerns to his wife.

I know most us would go like, “Really? You didn’t see that he was looking bright? Duh! What wrong with your eyes?” or “Oh my goodness, you will make us look stupid for not understanding who that guy was! That was Jesus, you don’t get?”.

But see, The Bible calls Manoah’s wife SENSIBLE. She didn’t call her husband stupid. She didn’t think Manoah was a little brain head, or brain dead! She bent and offered her counsel to her husband. Nowhere did she point out at his weakness or lack of discernment! I don’t mean that you should not correct your husband. You should but be very wise. Faithful instructions should always be on your lips [Proverbs 31:26]

A wise woman however, will understand that shouting at her husband at a bend will startle him and they will find themselves skidding off the road!
So many marriages have veered off the marriage road because of wives who do not understand when they should talk, and if they should talk or how they should talk.

Sister, a change of tone would do, a little encouragement would do, a rub on his back, a warm smile, or a big bear hug.
Just pause, take a deep breathe in and out, close your eyes, shut up and pray. Don’t poke a hemorrhaging wound.Bend when he bends. Turn when he turns.

Be his comfort when perplexed. Be his shoulder to cry on when the odds are against him.  Be his balm to his sore heart. Be his haven when his heart grows weary. Pray for him to navigate his bends and his turn(s).
Most importantly, love him through the bends! He is totally human and might miss a step, but that shouldn’t quell the voice of the Holy Spirit if He nudges you to stretch out your hand and help.
Bend and turn with him when he goes through a financial crisis.

Bend and turn with him when sickness hits.Bend and turn with him when he is laid off from work.Bend and turn with him when he feels overlooked.
Do not miss him in his turns!

D.I.Y: Write down a list of things that you have not encouraged your husband through. One by one repent to Christ and take the evening to ask your husband for forgiveness for not “encouraging him” in the right way. Assure him of your support [ kindly look straight into his eyes]

Go point: Be sincere. Check your tone too. Remember it’s not an argument. It’s a conversation geared towards growth.

VERSE OF THE DAY: Proverbs 21:11 A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples on a silver tray.


Lord Jesus,
This day Lord, I come to you with an open heart ready to learn and to receive from you the instructions for my marriage.
I know my husband faces a lot of challenges in his life. I know he does best to keep us knit together but Lord sometimes I feel he makes obvious mistakes.
Lord, that’s when my pride puffs up and I can’t wait to point out to every tiny mistake he has ever done. I know Lord you eschew score keeping yet Lord, it’s what I do best. I have kept poking at his bends.Teach me to extend grace to him even when I feel he least deserves it.

Make me an example to him, of loving him beyond his human mistakes and errors. Make me a better wife by teaching me your precepts. Teach me to discern his bends and turns and make me a word of encouragement to him when he’s most downtrodden.
Teach my heart Lord and break every spirit of pride in me.
In Jesus name I pray


We are John and Mary Munene and we love the Lord! Christ is our all in all! All we are is by God’s grace. Apart from having our individual careers, we are ardent bloggers, authors and misters of God's word. We have been blessed with two amazing children. A beautiful daughter and a handsome son. We love adventure, anything with lots of adrenaline is always a ‘go-thing’ for us! A cup of coffee next to a fireplace and a good book always does good to our souls! Hope you enjoy this blog!

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We are John and Mary Munene and we…