DAY 4: BE PASSIONATE TO HIM
Let’s talk about our innate longings. God created SEX as a powerful tool to bond a man to his wife, and together, they become one. He was not and still is not narrow-minded or prissy about it. God is the God of pleasure (Psalm 16:11), He designed SEX and gifts it to us as a good gift.
He is not shamefaced about it. It doesn’t shock Him to see a husband and wife naked before each other. He longs for a husband to yearn for his wife and a wife to yearn for her husband.
Genesis 2:23 paints a beautiful picture of a husband and a wife, bonded together in passion and love for each other. Nothing is more pleasurable, more beautiful, more sacred than a husband and his wife enjoying each other in their sacred matrimonial bed.
This benevolent God breathed the Words of Song of Songs and explicitly put them down for us to learn, to glean, to be instructed by them in righteousness, so that we may be complete, fully equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17.
God longs for us to have depth in how we relate to each other, and more so, He is interested in the health of our sexual intimacy in marriage. It is not just about fulfilling a drive or desire, but its indeed worship. An act that causes you to die to yourself and please your spouse. SEX teaches you to be a servant lover, not just one who is driven by his/her own desires. When we understand the weighty worth and sacred significance of the marital bed, we will treasure and enjoy it even more.
Can you say that you have been passionate to your husband? Have you told him of your longings towards him? Does he struggle to reach out to you intimately?Is he always the one initiating SEX in your marriage? Have you put your passion at the back seat in your marriage and are just operating within your “roles?”
It’s time to get your grove back. Ask the Lord to enable you be passionate to your husband is ways that he adores and loves.
Be responsive to him, especially intimately. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives and the best way for most of them is through SEX. So don’t use it as a weapon against him especially when you are angry at each other. Don’t settle for a passionless marriage.
If your husband has shut down on you, that he doesn’t desire you any more, pray. I know it sounds like cliché, but it’s not. Prayer give you direction and insight as to what may have contributed to his lack of sensitivity towards you. Then remind yourself of ways he has always wanted you to reach out to him.
Look for ways to connect with him again.
Did he love your unexpected kisses? Unexpected hugs? Have you stopped being an encouragement to him? Is lack forgiveness a cause? Could you possibly take him on a romantic dinner? Did he want a certain project finished yet you didn’t? Are the children taking the center stage in your marriage and he’s sort of benched?
Anything could be a hindrance. Ask the Lord to give you grace to handle it.
Be patient. Remember hard nuts need consistency and patience to crack then open. Slowly with the words of grace, gently with the word of love and consistently with your acts, he will turn around.
Do not settle for a passionless marriage. Ignite the spark
D.I.Y: Send him texts the whole day and remind him that he is your desire and passion. Remember the Shunammite woman? She called out her beloved! There is no harm in expressing your desires to him. Remember to use that lingerie you got when you were getting married, get it!
Go point: Be plain and clear about your longing towards him!
VERSE OF THE DAY: Song of Songs 7:10 I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.
I admit that our passion in our marriage is slowly fading into oblivion. I know that you created SEX for us as a gift to bond us together and infuse us into each other. Ye we seem to be dying. So many things distract us Lord, and we have put our marriage on auto-pilot mode, not really working hard towards having a thriving marriage.
Today Lord, I pray for the grace to turn the wheels around. Give me the grace to be passionate to my husband. Give me the grace to reach out to him and yearn for him. Make my heart, my body and spirit healthy to love him unreservedly. I pray that I will be a willing change-factor.
Release me from wrong thinking, lack of forgiveness, bitterness, negative thoughts and emotions that would cause my desire for him to die down. Fill us with passion for one another Lord.
In Jesus name I pray.