I have always admitted to my gross failure as a wife in the first year of our marriage.

See, The Holyspirit is termed as our Helper – with an unvarying attribute of encouragement, yet, I didn’t have that.
I chose not the clothe.

Honestly, I was never an encourager to my husband, especially in matters to do with his career and the investment ideas he had, basically in everything.

Every time he would be sent out on a mission, I became his guilty conscience, his judge and the jury. I reminded him about his family too – in the real sense, “I needed him around”, and made him feel as if he’s choosing his career over our marriage.

I even remember blaming my stress levels, my dropped hormonal levels, and consequently our first miscarriage on his absence. I know, it’s always devastating to think that I could put him through that.

It was not his fault that he missed out on everything, or so many special dates, but I was never gracious at all to understand.

Our marriage took a nose dive. We moved from worse to worst, hardly talking, simply co-existing, wondering how we found ourselves in marriage.

It’s not that we didn’t love each other, or weren’t geared towards committment, we were simply SELFISH.

I was a selfish wife.

I went before the Lord in bitterness towards his career, his ideas, his way of doing things, so aloof of my wrongdoings too.

One day, as I was complaining for the umpteenth time to God about Johnny, He told me, “You need to change! Not your husband, not Johnny, you!”

I was startled since I thought I had it all together. He was the one at fault. My lipstick was always baubed on perfectly, my face powdered on perfectly, yet my make up could not hide my ugly spirit from the Lord.

A spirit that ranked out an unattractiveness towards my husband, and worse, to the Lord.

No matter how much makeup I put on or the perfume I wore, my inner spirit still drenched out with an awful stench.

1st Peter 3:4 reminds us as wives, to have an imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit – which is PRECIOUS IN THE LORD’S SIGHT. Its a spirit that honors our husbands and encourages them too.

It was time. My internal wardrobe had to change, it was time for a make over! The Lord convicted me of my sacrilege towards our Holy covenant.

Fellow wives, do you know that the power of encouragement from a wife to the husband’s soul is more than a pious cliche that flings off in marriage counselling?

He needs you to encourage him even if his way of thinking, how he reasons seems absurd or off to you.

The power of encouragement is such a power house to us, and the devil would rather have us look at their faults, instead of letting the Holyspirit get to work in us.

Most men struggle with finding their identity, no wonder they cling onto “things” as they seem to give them more meaning into their masculinity.

Wives, we are guilty! Most of us never encourage our husbands. We are always picking that and pointing that!

We are always critical them, critical of their thinking, critical of their ideas, critical of everything. We are basically holy saints wearing elite halos in our homes, and they are grimmy sinners.

I think it’s time that we went back to the goldy principles of the marriage covenant, devoid of our little hurt egos, pride, worldy perspectives and prejudices that the world dangles on our faces.

We need to let the Lord work on our hearts and interweave our inner tapestry with His word. A Word that rightly divides the “world’s arrangement” of being a wife, from our God given role and assignments to our husbands.

We need to learn to season our mouths with the salt of grace, so as to be encouragers to our husbands.

They do not need to find a pure form of encouragement from anywhere else apart from the Lord, and our homes.
Our homes are to be their safe haven, not gothic shrines.

So turn your heart today towards your husband and encourage his endeavors.

Get down your pedestal of being so critical, embittered, and judgmental.

He needs your encouragement more than anything else. You are your husband’s crown – adorn him!

VERSE OF THE DAY: Proverbs 25:11, The right words at the right time is like precious gold set in silver.

DIY: Write him a text, or call him to encourage his heart. When he gets home, take time today to encourage his heart and his ideas.

Go point: Be gracious today, and let this be your turning point too. If you have been critical, today, find time to FACE HIM and apologize. Say, “Hunnie am sorry that I have never been such an intentional encourager to you in a, b, c [Name them], Please forgive me.”


Lord Jesus,

I know that my heart is prone to always find negativity among so many good things that my husband has done.

I am not perfect, yet with him, I do expect total perfection in everything. Forgive me for being so mean spirited.

You have commanded me to love and be gracious to my husband. Help me to find ways to encourage him today and forever.

Give me the right words that will touch his very core, and season my mouth with words that will build him and not tear him down.

In Jesus name I pray.





We are John and Mary Munene and we love the Lord! Christ is our all in all! All we are is by God’s grace. Apart from having our individual careers, we are ardent bloggers, authors and misters of God's word. We have been blessed with two amazing children. A beautiful daughter and a handsome son. We love adventure, anything with lots of adrenaline is always a ‘go-thing’ for us! A cup of coffee next to a fireplace and a good book always does good to our souls! Hope you enjoy this blog!

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We are John and Mary Munene and we…